Welcome to Marriage Monday!
How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know
Secret #18: Commitment is our sure promise that provides security and stability during a marriage crisis.
Q. What do circus high wire acts and marriage have in common?
(Besides extreme trust, interlaced body parts, and shiny red suits ... )
- In a marriage, one has the opportunity to create a legacy or fall prey to divorce. The tragic thing about divorce is that it affects SO many more people than just the couple involved. Our life road is mapped out by the choices we make. My husband and I desire a strong, everlasting marriage, being wise to the roadblocks that may come our way. However, we chose marriage and we continue to chose marriage everyday. We are blessed to share in a union that God has created for us.—Katy Montgomery
A. A safety net! Both marriage and high wire acts require a very strong safety net below the surface to provide security and protection against missteps, sudden mishaps, and mistakes.
You Can Rebuild Happiness in Your Marriage
In marriage, that safety net is good old-fashioned commitment. Commitment is the critical undergirding that keeps couples and their families safe from disaster. When communication fails, disease strikes, or economic hardships arrive, our commitment to one another allows our marriage to temporarily fall off the high wire of happiness. Commitment keeps it from shattering to pieces on the ground.
God intended for married couples to experience great happiness within their exclusive union. But isn’t marriage intended to make us holy you might ask? Yes. Of course. But should we gain the knowledge and skills to achieve a measure of happiness in marriage? Again, the answer is absolutely—Yes.
We know that life has its good times and bad times. Similarly, happiness in marriage ebbs and flows. Sometimes we’re able traverse the high wire of daily life in perfect harmony, laughing, and enjoying each other from one end to the other. Unfortunately, because of sin, our marriages face difficulties and hardships too. During those crisis periods, we get out of balance as a couple. Bailing out and starting over with someone else can seem like a very attractive idea.
Both marriage and high wire acts require a very strong safety net below the surface to provide security and protection against missteps, sudden mishaps, and mistakes.
However, like the undergirding of a circus safety net, our strength of commitment allows us to stay together through the difficult days, while working toward a better tomorrow. When negative circumstances force us off the high wire of marital happiness and down into the safety net of commitment, we can be assured that God will help us find a way to climb up the ladder of happiness once again.
From Faith to Hope, and Then On to Love
Christian marriage counselor, Willard Harley PhD observed that couples who are in love, never divorce. His successful clinical work has focused on helping distressed marriage partners fill each other's “emotional love tanks” in order to fall in love again.
In light of Dr. Harley’s counseling success, you can picture of commitment as both the safety net and the high wire itself. Commitment acts like a bridge between two opposite extremes: an angry divorce and long-term marital satisfaction. Commitment gives us the necessary time during and afer a marriage crisis to traverse the wire from one side to the other. Commitment empowers a couple to carefully proceed away from a state of conflict and toward the balanced state of relational happiness they both long for.
Commitment acts like faith, for it fuels hope. And hope can lead you back to love—if you allow it to. If your marriage is in turmoil, you may be considering your options. I encourage you to fufill your sacred marriage vows, and say NO to the temptation file for divorce. But don't go it alone! Seek the help of a competent professional today.
• Marriage: What Makes Women Happy?
• Is Marriage for Happiness or Holiness?
• Does Divorce Make People Happy?
Photos: gynti_46 (Flickr)
Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” (Mal 2:15-16 NASB)
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