Welcome to Marriage Monday

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #5: Children

Q. What specific steps can I take to ensure that my children make a personal decision to follow Jesus Christ?

“‘This episode was the hardest, ever, for me to watch,’ one Entertainment Weekly reader lamented. ‘After the show was over, I broke down and cried. It was extremely hard (beyond words to describe) to even hear Jon and Kate [Gosselin] say they are splitting up. When you grow attached to a family, it is very hard to watch it all fall apart… I am mostly concerned about what is going to happen to the children.’”—Family Life’s Culture Watch

“ohhhhhhhhh e-mom
the gosselin story is so sad, so tragic and so utterly preventable.
it breaks my heart.
the children
the children
the children
what about the children.”—Roo at it's true, i'm roo

A. Research by author Elizabeth Marquart has shown that "children of divorce are less religious than their peers from intact families (Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce) ... Children of divorce are more likely to agree that the suffering they witness in the world and in their own lives makes them doubt the existence of a loving God. They are more likely to feel that no one really understands them and more of them feel that the hardships in their life come from God."—Between Two Worlds Website

Therefore, the most important thing you can do to raise a family of believers is to stay married to your spouse. Amen? (See Mal 2:15)

In addition, following are five key areas to focus on ...




Desiring Godly Offspring:
Five Steps that Begin with You

T. Turn from Unbelief: Awaken to Your Heavenly Father’s Love

“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore CHOOSE LIFE, that you and your offspring may live…” (Deut 30:19 ESV)

U. Union: Receive Salvation

“And he said to the woman, ‘YOUR FAITH HAS SAVED YOU; go in peace.’”
(Lk 7:50 ESV)

“The Father longs for the return of his sons and daughters… Spirit may draw, but people must consent. The Spirit helps us, but we are also coworkers with God (2 Cor 6:1; Phil 1:9). We work out our salvation, while God is at work in us (Phil 2: 12-13). In conversion there is an interplay of grace and assent. Heaven rejoices when someone turns to God, because it is never a foregone conclusion. Conversion is not predestined but arises from free response. Therefore the angels delight when sinners respond to grace. The father did not stop the prodigal [son] from leaving home and did not compel him to return. In his leaving and his returning his liberty was respected.”—Pinnock, Flame of Love: The Theology of the Holy Spirit

L. Let Your Bible Training Begin Early

“This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, WHO DESIRES ALL PEOPLE TO BE SAVED and to come to the knowledge of the truth.”
(1 Tim 2:3-4 ESV)

“When you construct a plan for introducing your children to Jesus, you may want to make your motto ‘the earlier the better.’ In a recent nationwide poll, researcher George Barna learned that children ages five through thirteen have a 32 percent probability of accepting Christ as their Savior. That rate drops dramatically, to just 4 percent, for kids ages fourteen through eighteen. And those who have not become Christians before age nineteen have only a 6 percent probability of doing so during the rest of their lives!

Spiritual training of children should begin at their earliest moments of awareness and continue through the teen years. The most important year, however, may be age five. That is when they are open and tender to the call of Christ. Some kids come to a fork in the road at this point. Either they begin to internalize what they are taught and make it their own, or Bible stories and lessons become like fables that don't apply to the real world. Your careful instruction during this period can lay the faith foundation that will guide your children throughout their earthly lives — and lead them into a joyous eternity.—Dr. James Dobson, October 2002 Newsletter, “Young Families Grab Our Attention!”

I. Instruct Your Children to Submit to Christ’s Sovereignty

“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and YOU WOULD NOT!” (Matt 23:37)

Engage in Everyday Conversations about Faith

● Talk with your child when he or she is young. “Even at three years of age,” Dr. Dobson says, “a child is capable of learning that the flowers, the sky, the birds, and even the rainbow are gifts from God’s hand.”

● Teach your child to memorize verses of Scripture. “The first Scripture our children should learn is ‘God is love’ (1 John 4:8).”

● Show your child how to pray to God. In the early years, keep it simple. “They should be taught to thank Him before eating their food and to ask for His help when they are hurt or scared.”

● Talk about spiritual matters throughout the day. “Scripture tells us … to give the greatest emphasis to the spiritual development of our children. Nothing even comes close to it in significance.”

● Maintain an eternal perspective. “The only way you can be with your precious children in the next life is to introduce them to Jesus Christ and His teachings, hopefully when they are young and impressionable. This is Task Number One in child-rearing.”

● Show how faith relates to life. “Not only is spiritual development of relevance to eternity, it is also critical to the way your children will live out their days on this earth. Specifically, [children] need to be well established in their faith in order to understand the meaning of good and evil.”

This excerpt is quoted from “Our Ultimate Priority as Parents” by Dr. James Dobson.

P. Perseverance in Faith

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I HAVE KEPT THE FAITH.”(2 Tim 4:7 ESV)

Protecting Our Children from Spiritual Drifting

“From Genesis to Revelation we find that the biggest temptation is for believers to experientially ‘lose’ our faith. How? We stop doing what the Lord says. Why? We stop believing what God’s Word says.

Think about it. What happened to mighty Judge Samson? What happened to powerful King Saul? What happened to wise King Solomon? They all fell away. What about these good kings—Asa, Joash, Amaziah, Uzziah and Hezekiah? They followed God for a number of years, then each one turned away…

What is the single greatest warning in the Gospels and Acts? In the New Testament letters from Romans to Jude? Even in the book of Revelation? Keep following the Lord—endure to the end—don’t shipwreck your faith—don’t fall away.”
—Dr. John G. Mitchell, “Faith that Goes the Distance”

This post is linked to Julie's blog hop, Marriage Mondays and the Carnival of Homeschooling.

Photos: FlickrMJM_0 & waltersrp (Flickr)



It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

1. Topic: Children. If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to our topic. What advice would you offer to a married couple with children? Do you have any special insights that you would like to pass on to others?

2. Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM (PDT) on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Remember to try your link to make sure it works correctly. And don't forget to leave me a comment!

3. If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List. Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet sister.


Text Linky

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Marriage Monday is Coming!

Our Topic: Children

Are you finding your rhythm yet? I trust life is settling down, and your family’s school routines are getting under way. Welcome to autumn!

Meanwhile, we’re gearing up to welcome a tiny new addition to the family (almost) tomorrow. Please pray. It’s going to be a little chaotic for me as I play nursemaid to our daughter on the east coast, and adjust to my new role as grandma. If this blog falls silent for a week or two, you'll know why.

Since family is so much on our brains right now, it seems appropriate to tackle the topic of children this coming Monday—Sept. 26, 2011. As a group, we wrote about “Adding Kids to the Mix” exactly a year ago. It’s a very broad subject, and this time you have the opportunity to cover it from a different angle.

7 Writing Prompts

If you’re confused and don’t know where to begin, the following writing prompts might help you. Or, you can cover an entirely different aspect of child-rearing altogether.

1. Private, public, or homeschool?
2. Purpose of children in marriage
3. How to discipline children effectively
4. Raising sons versus raising daughters
5. Preventing prodigal children
6. Family fun & traditions
7. Children & divorce

As always, you’re encouraged to be creative and have some fun. Prose, verse, photos, a video—you name it—all are welcome.

"... I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands." (Exodus 20:5-6 NLT)

Why Marriage Matters

I’ll leave you with a link to the Facebook Page of the third edition of Why Marriage Matters: Thirty Conclusions from the Social Sciences. The sad outcome of the lives of children whose parents cohabit instead of marry probably won’t surprise you ... but it’s good to be reminded.

If you squint hard, the second entry below says, "Children of unwed parents are more likely to drop out of school than children of parents in an intact marriage." Go read the rest!

See you on Monday.





Up Next—Marriage Monday. Topic: Children

Will you have time to join us on Monday?

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Book: The Hour that Matters Most

The Surprising Power of Breaking
Bread Together

Today, I'm going to talk about food here at Chrysalis, rather than over at Susannah's {Kitchen}, my apron and hospitality site. I thought you'd want to know about the press release for a new book that arrived in my email inbox last week. As a Mom, I heartily endorse its family-friendly message. The Hour that Matters Most could make a difference in the quality of your family's life—or in the lives of someone you know.

Why not celebrate Thanksgiving as a family each and every day?

Share the Power of the Family Meal with America

Dream Dinners Partners with bestselling authors Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott to provide practical advice for getting families back around the dinner table.

[Carol Stream, IL]— Is dinnertime in your house looking like a food court? Do family members come and go with little time for connection? Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. is pleased to present The Hour That Matters Most: The Surprising Power of the Family Meal (available Sept. 2011) by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott with Dream Dinners Founders Stephanie Allen and Tina Kuna.

Believe it or not, there is a valid clinical perspective as to the importance of gathering around the family dinner table. In the book, Allen and Kuna share personal stories and anecdotes, combined with credible data and practical advice revealed by the Parrots, a popular psychologist husband and wife team. The resulting book is a collection of amazing tips and insights for parents with a desire to slow down and make the most of their time around the family table. The book helps guide the way for any family through practical conversation starters, meal planning, dinner time stories, devotion and more ...

Though dinnertime is truly the most logical hour in a day to be proactive in gathering the family together, the authors don’t exclude the options of breakfast or 8 o’clock cookies and milk. Whatever it takes!
The Hour that Matters Most will teach readers how to reclaim important time in order to build relationships, draw closer to one another, and restore connectedness and peace in your home simply through mealtimes together.

Through the book, discover:

• How to overcome the time starved, working mom dilemma
• The secrets of a healthy home
• Ways to engage your family in meaningful conversation
• How to start a fix and freeze club
• The heart of great table talk and fun
• And much more!

“Numerous studies have shown the clear benefits of family eating together at the dinner table – everything from a lower risk of diabetes in children, to higher performance scores among school aged children, and deeper feelings of family bonds and satisfaction,” commented Allen. “We want everyone to be able to tap into the power found right in their dining room, and this book will show them the how and the why.”

Millions of parents in America can picture the kind of home life they want but don't know how to make it a reality. The Hour That Matters Most will show readers how to strengthen and transform their family—simply by gathering around the dinner table.

Learn more at this website: http://www.thehourthatmattersmost.com/

Press Release via MamaBuzz

Linked at Works-for-Me-Wednesday and Women Living Well Wednesdays.

Photo: (Turkey) James Carrier, Sunset Mag

Up Next—Marriage Monday Reminder. Topic: Children

How often do you eat dinner together as a family?

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Bible Study: "Ministers in Skirts?"

What the Bible Says about Women
in Leadership

Pastor Mark at Mars Hill Church in Seattle (WA) has coined a unique phrase when referring to women pastors: “ministers in skirts.” Considered controversial in some circles, Driscoll preaches that female Christians are called to serve in a myriad of ways around the church. However, says Driscoll, they should not occupy a preaching position in the pulpit.

The following excerpt from Got Questions.org also tackles this difficult issue of women pastors. The quote is full of Scriptural insights which affirm the position that Pastor Driscoll has taken.

So what do you think about "ministers in skirts?" Please tell us. Don’t be shy!

Quote from GotQuestions.org

Question: "Women pastors/preachers? What does the Bible say about women in ministry?"

Answer: There is perhaps no more hotly debated issue in the church today than the issue of women serving as pastors/preachers. As a result, it is very important to not see this issue as men versus women… This is not an issue of chauvinism or discrimination. It is an issue of biblical interpretation.

The Word of God proclaims, “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent” (1 Timothy 2:11-12). In the church, God assigns different roles to men and women. This is a result of the way mankind was created and the way in which sin entered the world (1 Timothy 2:13-14). God, through the apostle Paul, restricts women from serving in roles of teaching and/or having spiritual authority over men. This precludes women from serving as pastors over men, which definitely includes preaching to, teaching, and having spiritual authority.

There are many “objections” to this view of women in ministry. A common one is that Paul restricts women from teaching because in the first century, women were typically uneducated. However, 1 Timothy 2:11-14 nowhere mentions educational status. If education were a qualification for ministry, the majority of Jesus' disciples would not have been qualified.

A second common objection is that Paul only restricted the women of Ephesus from teaching (1 Timothy was written to Timothy, who was the pastor of the church in Ephesus) ... Read more

A third common objection is that Paul is only referring to husbands and wives, not men and women in general. The Greek words in the passage could refer to husbands and wives; however, the basic meaning of the words refers to men and women … Read more

Yet another frequent objection to this interpretation of women in ministry is in relation to women who held positions of leadership in the Bible, specifically Miriam, Deborah, and Huldah in the Old Testament … Read more

Elders/bishops/deacons are described as the “husband of one wife,” “a man whose children believe,” and “men worthy of respect.” Clearly the indication is that these qualifications refer to men.

Most significantly, though, the authority of women in the Old Testament is not relevant to the issue. The book of 1 Timothy and the other Pastoral Epistles present a new paradigm for the church—the body of Christ—and that paradigm involves the authority structure for the church, not for the nation of Israel or any other Old Testament entity.

Similar arguments are made using Priscilla and Phoebe in the New Testament. In Acts 18, Priscilla and Aquila are presented as faithful ministers for Christ ... Read more

In Romans 16:1, even if Phoebe is considered a “deaconess” instead of a “servant,” that does not indicate that Phoebe was a teacher in the church. “Able to teach” is given as a qualification for elders, but not deacons (1 Timothy 3:1-13; Titus 1:6-9). Elders/bishops/deacons are described as the “husband of one wife,” “a man whose children believe,” and “men worthy of respect.” Clearly the indication is that these qualifications refer to men. In addition, in 1 Timothy 3:1-13 and Titus 1:6-9, masculine pronouns are used exclusively to refer to elders/bishops/deacons.

The structure of 1 Timothy 2:11-14 makes the “reason” perfectly clear. Verse 13 begins with “for” and gives the “cause” of Paul’s statement in verses 11-12. Why should women not teach or have authority over men? Because “Adam was created first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived.” God created Adam first and then created Eve to be a “helper” for Adam. This order of creation has universal application in the family (Ephesians 5:22-33) and the church … Read more

Many women excel in gifts of hospitality, mercy, teaching, evangelism, and helps. Much of the ministry of the local church depends on women. Women in the church are not restricted from public praying or prophesying (1 Corinthians 11:5), only from having spiritual teaching authority over men. The Bible nowhere restricts women from exercising the gifts of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 12). Women, just as much as men, are called to minister to others, to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), and to proclaim the gospel to the lost (Matthew 28:18-20; Acts 1:8; 1 Peter 3:15).

God has ordained that only men are to serve in positions of spiritual teaching authority in the church. This is not because men are necessarily better teachers, or because women are inferior or less intelligent (which is not the case). It is simply the way God designed the church to function. Men are to set the example in spiritual leadership—in their lives and through their words. Women are to take a less authoritative role. Women are encouraged to teach other women (Titus 2:3-5). The Bible also does not restrict women from teaching children. The only activity women are restricted from is teaching or having spiritual authority over men. This logically would preclude women from serving as pastors to men. This does not make women less important, by any means, but rather gives them a ministry focus more in agreement with God’s plan and His gifting of them.


Related

• 5 Bible Study "Rock Stars" in the Spotlight

You’re invited to join Barbara at Stray Thoughts for her delightful “thinkful” meme, The Week in Words and Courtney's meme Women Living Well Wednesdays.

Winner: Marriage Monday Giveaway

I'm very pleased to announce that the winner of an audio CD called the "Crazy Cycle" from Love & Respect.com. Congratulations to Faith at Gold in the Clouds! I hope you and your husband benefit from the material as much as we have.

Photos: Mars Hill Church Seattle (Flickr) & Media Images



Up Next—New Book: The Hour that Matters Most

What you think about women pastors?

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Humor: Friday High Five

5 Links to Laugh Over

Travelling around bloggyville this week, I enjoyed a few good laughs while(st) visiting these dear sisters.

1. "Big Soft Ginger Cookies ... and dumplings" at Crickl's Nest

• Christie's hilarious story reveals a well-intentioned comedy of errors.

2. Janette's "Simple Joy - Comics" at Janette's Sage

• Reflections on the 10th Anniversary of 9/11 as expressed through the comics section of the Sunday paper.

3. Lynneguist's "Shoes" at Separated by a Common Language

• Clever observations on British and American English by an American linguist in the UK.

4. Cindy's "Thirteen Things to (Hopefully) Make You Grin" at Notes in the Key of Life

• Find the cartoon that goes with this line, "I tell people I do Pilates because no one knows what it is or if it actually exists."

5. VLog: "Bragging Grandmas" at Jan in Real Life

• A humorous skit about two women bragging about their uber smart grandchildren ... with a serious Christian message at the end.

Bonus: Speaking of skits, if you're game for something really crazy, you'll get a kick out of this video, "Large Men in Tutus." Produced at a YoungLife Family Camp, two grown men perform ballet with a beach ball between them. If you have teens in the house, this is a must see!

Roll tape ...



Linked for Friday Fave Five at Susanne's blog, Living to Tell the Story.
Note: Kim's Friday Funnies blog hop at Homesteader's Heart is now
twice-a-month.

Photo: Holtzman (Flickr)



Up Next—Bible Study: "Ministers in Skirts?"

Did you grin, giggle or guffaw?

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Word-filled Wednesday: John 14:23

Jesus answered him, "If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. (John 14:23 ESV)

Join us at The Internet Cafe for Amydeanne's popular Scripture blog hop,
Word-filled Wednesday.

Image: FrStephenMSC2 (Flickr)



Up Next—Humor: Friday High Five

Selah. Let's pause and reflect.

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Welcome to Marriage Monday

How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #4: Communication

Q. Why does conflict occur when I try to share deep feelings with my husband?

“Our communication is the worst problem in our marriage, he'll even admit that. We just don't see eye to eye on many topics and when its bad, it pours in our house, no understanding, very selfish behaviors ... hard to get past. Without going into too many details, distrust, oppression, passive-aggressive personality, insensitive, unapologetic attitudes are what hurt our marriage deeply. It sometimes feels as though, his love can be "Conditional" and oppressive toward me and our family. I am a praying passionate wife and mother and know my responsibilities and do my best with God's help to live joyfully and try to forgive and move forward, though, my spirit is crushed when we argue and fight. Its quite difficult when you love someone so much, but your emotions and feelings are deteriorating ...”—Nichole

A. Thanks for leaving such an honest, heartfelt comment. I hurt for you and the difficulties you and your husband are having with your communication.

Let me assure you that every couple struggles in this area. It's huge.
With a little inside info, you can make your communication a lot more fulfilling.
I thank the Lord that He brought some specific teaching materials into our lives during a time of great stress in our marriage. We've been married for 33 years now, and our communication is really, really good. With a little coaching and practice, the same can also happen for the two of you.

All women need to understand that while we thrive on LOVE (and talk) men thrive on RESPECT (and actions). The problems begin when we women innocently seek out our husbands to “vent.” We feel relief when we can express our negative upset feelings—about anything—and receive sympathy from a caring listener. Our girlfriends naturally know how to respond in a supportive way, and we assume our husbands will do the same.

However, our husband often takes our upset feelings personally. He’s wired for “report” talk, not feminine “rapport” talk. Therefore, he jumps to the mistaken conclusion that we’re complaining about him, that he’s blown it, and he’s the cause of our pain. His male ego is crushed and he feels completely disrespected. E-Dad used to say, “Why are you blasting me?” For a long time I was totally confused, because I wasn’t placing any blame on him at all.

Why do men do this?

Because they want SO much to be our hero.

The opposite is also true. When our husbands are bothered by something (like an issue at work) they become withdrawn and non-communicative. We wives take their husband’s “stonewalling” personally. We get our feelings hurt, mistakenly thinking our man is ignoring us on purpose. We’re convinced that he no longer loves us. In truth, men need privacy and space without talking so they can calm down, pace or work out, and figure out how to solve their problem on their own. Eventually, they do come out of their "man cave." The less we punish them for withdrawing, the faster they recover. If they don't get that essential space away from other people, they can turn really mean and angry.

Why do women do this?

Because we want SO much to share and communicate.

There's a book I would like to recommend that helps explain this "crazy cycle" in greater detail—and what to do about it. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has written a profound Christian book, Love & Respect based on Eph 5:33. He explains that men and women can go round and round and round on a “crazy cycle” trying to meet their own needs first. Often a conflict escalates into a loud fight. If a husband is less verbally adept than his wife (most men are), pretty soon he is saying nothing and refusing to continue with the discussion. If he doesn’t storm out of the room first—his wife does, in disgust.

Eggerichs explains that as couples, we can get off the "crazy cycle" by remembering to give what the other person most needs; unconditional LOVE for her, unconditional RESPECT for him. The beauty of this approach is that it's reciprocal. For example, when we give our husbands the respect they desperately need during a fight, they'll start to calm down. Eventually, they’ll gush all over us with the loving understanding we genuinely need.

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has an excellent website. You can many of the nuggets of his teaching there before buying his book Love & Respect. He's written several workbooks and other materials based on these biblical concepts. Eggerichs hosts various conferences as well.

I hope you will pursue some of these resources. Your marriage can be radically different with this new information and a few changes in your behavior. I will pray for your happiness and your marriage's success.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (James 1:19-20 NIV)

Related

1. Now We’re Talking!
2. Talking Turkey (About Sex) When You’re Feeling Like a Chicken
3. This post is linked at Come Have Peace and Stray Thoughts.

Photos: amanky, meriales (2&3), mglasgow (Flickr)





It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

1. Topic: Communication. If you would like to link a post for Marriage Monday, take a minute to read about the giveaway and introduction to today's topic. (Oh, and did I mention there's a Giveaway this week?) What advice would you give to a young wife about to be married? Do you have any special insights that you would like to pass on to others?

2. Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM (PDT) on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Remember to try your link to make sure it works correctly. And don't forget to leave me a comment!

3. If you're new at Chrysalis, welcome! Please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List. Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet sister!




Text Linky

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The Jewish Feast of Booths (Tabernacles)

A Christian Viewpoint

This year, the Jewish Feast of Booths (Sukkot) takes place at sundown on Oct. 12 and concludes on Oct. 19, 2011. Also known as the Feast of Tabernacles, it's a week-long joyful celebration of the fall harvest. It's also a time when the Jews build temporary shelters (sukkah) made of branches to remember how the Hebrews lived under God’s care and protection during their forty years in the wilderness (Neh 8:14-17). In OT times, King Solomon chose The Feast of Sukkot for the consecration of the first Temple (1 Kings 8).

Four special plants are used to cover the booths: citron, myrtle, willow, and palm (Lev 23:39-40). The roof is made of branches and leaves, with enough open spaces to see the stars. Today, many Jewish people erect booths of wood and canvas on their lawns or balconies and eat a least one meal a day in them.

Two Ceremonies

Sukkot is last of three OT annual pilgrimage feasts when all Jewish males were required to go to Jerusalem to “appear before the Lord” (Deut 16:16). During services, a lulav made up of the same “four species” of citron, myrtle willow, and palm, branches was waved in all four compass directions and up and down to symbolize that God’s presence is everywhere.

Two important ceremonies were part of the last day of Sukkot ...

You can read the rest of this article at my hospitality site, Susannah's {Kitchen}. Please join me over there today. See you in a few minutes!

Related: Rosh Hashana & Yom Kippur (Autumn Jewish High Holidays)

Photos: maxnathan (Flickr)

Up Next—Marriage Monday: Our Topic is COMMUNICATION

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Marriage Monday is Coming!

Our Topic: Communication

Autumn schedules are here, and it’s going to be a busy season. Don’t panic! Just sit back. Relax your shoulders. Drop your jaw and breathe, Sister.

Breathe …

If you’re like me, Marriage Monday is a special time I set apart from the unrelenting pace of life. Twice monthly, I look forward to drinking deeply from your blog. I love hearing your wise and measured thoughts. It's a joy to know you’re succeeding in your marriage.

Please plan to join us once again this coming Monday, Sept. 12, 2011.
Our topic is communication. An easy one! I know you’ll have scads to share about how you two have tamed this fearsome animal.

As always, you’re encouraged to be creative and have some fun. Prose, verse, photos, a video—you name it—all are welcome.

Giveaway: Crazy Cycle CD

To “sweeten the pot” with the hope that you’ll join us, I’m giving away an audio CD called the “Crazy Cycle.” This dynamic CD is a great introduction to the Love & Respect message by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (based on Eph 5:33). At his entertaining best, he presents the Crazy Cycle before a live audience. Value: $9.00

Your name will be added to my drawing when you link your blog post on Monday AND join the Marriage Monday Blog List. (Click here for easy instructions.) The giveaway winner will be announced on Sept. 19, 2011.

I’ll leave you now with a quote to ponder. See you soon!

Spiderwebbing

You won’t find a formal definition of this term in the dictionary, but most married couples will recognize what spiderwebbing is. Someone starts with this point and goes to that point but doesn’t finish that point before going on to another point, not finishing that point but doubling back to an earlier point. But somehow they always bring the conversation full circle and eventually finish all the points!

Multitasking women are masters of this art. For husbands, who are normally more linear thinkers, this kind of conversation is not that simple. They are wired to finish one point completely and then move on to the next. So when his wife starts spiderwebbing, a husband is likely to get that blank, faraway look in his eyes. The wife notices this and says, “You’re not listening to me.” And on the Crazy Cycle we go!
—Love & Respect Reflects (Weblog)

Photo: HungryBrowser (Flickr)



Up Next—The Feast of Booths (Tabernacles)

Will you have time to join us on Monday?

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How to Make Your Marriage Last

9 Ways to Keep it Healthy at Any Age

Marital advice abounds, doesn’t it? Some of it is great, and some is only so so. You might be interested in this solid, no-nonsense article by Health.com. It’s definitely worth pondering.

1. Watch your waistline
Now that you’re married, you can finally relax and skip the gym, right? Wrong. Wedded couples tend to have fatter waistlines, which can spell trouble in terms of sexual attraction and general health… Eating with anyone—from your spouse to coworker—can cause you to consume 33% more than you would solo…

2. Have a financial plan
…In fact, money is the number-one reason couples fight, and relationships tend to suffer during poor economies. …Don’t fret if you’re a spendthrift and your partner pinches pennies. “It’s probably not a good thing to have the exact same philosophy about money, “says Ken Robbins, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin–Madison. “But financial issues are best to resolve early on. You want to decide who is going to pay the bills, how much discretionary spending is reasonable, and how you’re going to keep track of it all.”

3. Figure out your family rules
Couples spend the first 5 to 10 years of their marriage butting heads over how their family should work, says Dr. Robbins. “People often don’t realize that they come into a marriage with an idea of how a family works based on their own family…” he adds…

You and your partner may have vastly different ideas about how a child should be cared for and what constitutes family together time. If one of you is working, should the other partner get up with the baby at night, or should you take turns? Is it important for you to sit down to dinner as a family every night?...

4. Make sex a priority—but not a chore
…The average married couple has sex 58 times per year, or slightly more than once a week. And a recent eight-year study found that 90% of couples experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction after the birth of their first child…

But it doesn’t matter whether you’re having sex five times a week or five times a year—as long as both of you are happy, says Dr. Goldstein. In fact, a 2008 study found that couples who reported any kind of marital intimacy—everything from holding hands to sex—exhibited lower levels of a hormone produced by stress.

5. Be flexible
Whatever financial and household arrangements you agreed to in your 20s or 30s, chances are they’re going to change at some point in your marriage. Men account for 82% of recent job losses during this recession, meaning couples are making some hard choices when it comes to both their careers and their checking accounts…

Having an open discussion of how household duties need to change can help couples weather some tough transitions. “Everyone has a role within the relationship and as long as there’s a greater good, it’s not a question about whether it’s his money or her money,” says Dr. Goldstein. “It’s their money. Your paycheck and your career are not the value of your worth.”

6. Stay active as you age
If you’re like most American couples, you don’t exercise or you stopped regularly exercising when you had children. Try to find new ways to stay active as a couple, whether it’s hitting the tennis courts or hiking trails. A 1995 study found that couples who work out together are more likely to stick with an exercise program. And some experts suggest that couples who exercise more frequently tend to have better sex lives…

7. Gab (a little) to your friend
In the last decade, researchers have noted a rise in “gray divorce,” or couples over 50 who are calling it quits. While it’s tempting—and often prudent—to keep couple conversations behind closed doors, you may actually benefit from blabbing to a close friend…

8. Rediscover each other as a couple, sans kids
Forget empty nest syndrome—a 2008 study found that marital satisfaction actually improves once children leave home. Female participants reported spending equal amounts of time with their partners both while their children lived at home and after, but they noted that the quality of that together time was better once the kids were out of the picture.”…But if marital problems have already been bubbling, an empty nest can reveal serious tension…

9. Be a conscious caregiver
In the event of a serious illness, spouses who assume the role of caregiver often develop a sense of “caregiver burden” and may become ill themselves. So it’s vital that both spouses ask for help when they need it. Getting out to see friends and socialize is particularly important for caregivers. And realize that you both have limitations…

This excerpt is a only partial quote from “9 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Healthy at Any Age.” Follow the link to read the complete article.

Related : What Makes Married Women Happy?

God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that's what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don't cheat on your spouse. I hate divorce," says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, "I hate the violent dismembering of the 'one flesh' of marriage." So watch yourselves. Don't let your guard down. Don't cheat. (Mal 2:15-16 MSG)

Got quotes? Join Barbara at Stray Thoughts for The Week in Words. Also, visit Julie's blog, Come Have Peace for her weekly meme, Marriage Mondays.


Marriage Monday Reminder

You’re invited to link your post on Marriage Monday Sept. 12, 2011. Our group topic is “Communication.” Please join us! More information will follow soon.

Photos: IATravels, AubreyArenas & JCRojas (Flickr)



Which points resonated with you the most?

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Evangelism: Young Life's Malibu Club (Canada) 2011

Malibu Welcomes the U.S. Military

If you’ve ever worked with Christian youth (or if you’ve ever been a youth!) you’ll remember those crazy skits that popped up at every meeting. Hilariously funny, they were designed to break down barriers, build trust, and some of them even presented the Gospel truth.

An international outreach organization called Young Life holds camps all summer at a magical place called Malibu Club (watch video). Situated in Princess Louisa inlet 100 miles up the west coast of British Columbia Canada, it’s a gem of a property. High school youth come from all over North America to spend “the best week of their lives” making new friends, hiking, swimming, water skiing, and hearing the truths of the Bible come alive.

This week, Malibu is hosting a special camp for enlisted U.S. servicemen and women. With many military marriages under stress, it’s an opportunity for these dedicated folk to get away for some R&R with their families. Many will be hearing the good news of Jesus Christ in a way that makes sense for the very first time. Would you pray?

Two dear friends Rick and Julie Marzolf, from our Young Life days as youth leaders, were asked to lead parts of the program. For your enjoyment, here are a few photos of the camp in progress.





Consider Malibu's Retreat Facilities for your Next Event

By the way, if you're looking for a location to host a retreat, conference or even a family event such as a wedding or family reunion, Malibu is a terrific option. Now open year round, their facilities can accommodate groups of 300 people comfortably. For smaller groups, the new Kanata Lodge is a stand alone facility with 21 bedrooms and beautiful meeting areas. Contact Harold Richert (hrichert@malibu.younglife.org) for availability and rates.

Photos: Marzolf & Associates. Strategic Communications Corp.

Related: Marriage Monday: The Crazy Way We Met (at Malibu!)

Linked at Kim's Friday Funnies blog hop at Homesteader's Heart



Up Next—How to Make Your Marriage Last: 9 Ways to Keep it Healthy at Any Age

Do you remember any skits? Your favourite was ...

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