Interview with Author Susan Miller

After the Boxes Are Unpacked

(Renewing the Heart)

Don’t you love it when you’ve been thinking about someone, and then they come walking into your life? I call those special moments “God pokes.”

Recently, at our new church’s Starting Point Luncheon for newcomers, author and speaker Susan Miller slid up to our table. It turns out she was assigned to be our hostess. Bless her, she was determined to make it the ‘best table’ at the event. (And it was!)

Susan Miller happens to be the author of After the Boxes are Unpacked: Moving on After Moving In published by Tyndale House. During our conversation over sandwiches, mustard potato salad, and watermelon, Susan mentioned that more than 40 million Americans move each year. That's amazing!

It's not surprising that studies show it can be one of the heaviest strains on a marriage. Although (so far) I've had an easy time adjusting, for many women, relocating can be a traumatic event.

Susan agreed to let me post her answers to a few of my questions about her book and nationwide ministry called, Just Moved.org. Listen as she shares her wisdom in a sweet southern accent.

1. Where are you from, and what brought you to the Phoenix (AZ) area?

Atlanta, Georgia. A corporate move in the hotel industry. Our 14th move. We thought moving here was just another corporate move, God’s plan was to begin a ministry to bring hope to uprooted women all over the world.

2. What’s the biggest obstacle women face when they relocate to a new location?

Letting go of the past, starting all over again, and embracing a new unfamiliar life. Also: loneliness

3. It’s easy to get stuck in a comfortable friendship rut. How do you motivate ‘old-timers’ in the church to reach out to include new friends in their circle?

Motivate them by asking the question: Remember when you were new to a church or community? Remember how you felt? Then encourage old-timers to be inclusive, not exclusive! For example: Invite someone new out to lunch after church, or over for dinner. Ask how you can help them or what you can do to make their transition easier.

4. Any parting words of encouragement?

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Thank you for sharing, Susan. And what a wonderful verse!

If you're struggling with a move, or know someone who is, Susan Miller and her ministry Just Moved.org is a wonderful “go to” resource. Check it out!

Photos: Amazon.com & Just Moved.org.

Linked at Works-for-Me-Wednesday and Women Living Well Wednesdays.




Can you think of a friend who needs this book?

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Q. What's the Biggest Difference Between Little Girls & Mature Christian Wives?

A. The Desire to Be a Skilled Helpmate

Marriage is designed to be a three-way relationship, with ever-increasing levels of love and respect between Jesus Christ, a man and his wife.

A Christian Wife’s Role

A mature Christian wife has learned to give up her independent, controlling ways. No longer fearful, but full of faith, she is trusting and receptive. Confident that she is His Beloved and the apple of His eye, her primary need to be cared for is met. With hope, she submits (or surrenders) to her husband’s loving lead. Without any hesitation, she follows him into the bedroom, cheers his efforts in the workplace, and on the battlefields of life. She remembers to ask for his emotional support when she needs it, knowing he is not a mind-reader. She chooses to offer her respect and trust unconditionally, and not as a reward for how well she is loved and provided for by him.

Grown up "little girls" treat their husbands like invincible father-figures who always perform courageously and without error. However, the mature adult Christian woman understands that her husband needs to be encouraged in his masculinity – he needs her applause and appreciation. When he fails her, she offers her forgiveness. In this way, a wife helps her husband to love and protect her. She becomes his helpmate in the truest sense of the word.

A Christian Husband’s Role

A mature Christian husband has learned to give up his insecure, selfish ways. No longer fearful, but full of faith, he is giving and active. Confident that he is wholly forgiven and accepted by Jesus, his need to feel completely adequate is met. With hope, he boldly leads his wife and without any hesitation, makes plenty of time for conversation and affection. He chooses to freely offer all of his gifts of love unconditionally – with no strings attached – and not in response to his wife’s attitudes of submission, respect, or trust.

Grown up "little boys" treat their wives like all-powerful mother-figures who must be pleased and obeyed at all times. The mature adult Christian man understands that his wife is actually the weaker, more vulnerable gender. He knows that underneath, she is a tender sapling in need of his nurture and strong protection. When he fails her, he empathizes with her feelings and asks for her forgiveness. He becomes a husbandman to his wife in the truest sense of the word.

"Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18 ESV)

This post is linked at Julie's blog Come Have Peace for her fine blog hop, Marriage Mondays.

Photos: Swiv (Flickr)

Up Next—Interview with Author Susan Miller (Just Moved Ministries)

Much more could be said about a couple's need for differing brands of support.
What would you add?

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Christian Weight Loss—In Bits & Pieces

25 (Realistic) Ways You Can Cut 500 Calories Per Day

Alright ...

and grapevine left,

and back to center

and grapevine right and punch it, punch it ...

Fabulously fun, but costly and time-consuming, there's another way to lose weight besides vigorous Zumba aerobic work-outs! Check out this post
"25 Realistic Ways You Can Cut 500 Calories ...a Day" at Susannah's {Kitchen}.

Whether we're pre-menopausal, in menopause or post-menopausal, we all know that weight control has to be a "top of the mind" awareness. And it's pretty easy to memorize these simple ideas.

In addition to the mini-calorie cuts listed, you can add half-hour daily walks to your routine. I've made some small changes to my health regimin, and my tank-tops and Bermuda shorts are looking better and better on me all the time!

Let's chat together over at my kitchen site right now!

Related: 10 (New) Ways to Instantly Become More Attractive

Photos: Edson Hong (Flickr)

She girds herself with strength, and makes her arms strong.
(Prov 31:17 NIV)

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Eleven Lively & Delicious Links

Choice Morsels

1. Fair Time by Jennifer at Diary of 1 2. Sweet Canteloupe Love by Sandy at Reluctant Entertainer

3. How to Roast Green Coffee Beans by Mary at Owlhaven 4. Laugh Again! by the American Association of Christian Counselors

5. Emergency Dessert… Pie Edition by Bridget at Bake at 350 6. Where’s My Older Woman? by Carolyn McCully at CBMW

7. How ‘bout dem apples by Susan at Forever His 8. Top Judaica Items Found in the Supermarket by the Sylvia Plotkin Judaica Museum in Phoenix, AZ.

9. Ancient Mesopotamian Cookoff Challenge Underway at Bible History Daily 10. Blueberry Squares at The 21st Century Housewife

11.How to Make Cake Stands by Bee in Our Bonnet (Via Barbara H. at Stray Thoughts)

“Abigail acted quickly. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys.” (1 Sam 25:18 NIV)

Thumbnails: Diary of 1, Owlhaven, Bake at 350, Forever His, Bible History Daily, Bee in Our Bonnet.

Linked at Works-for-Me-Wednesday, Wordless Wednesday, and Women Living Well Wednesdays.




Do you have a great link to share?

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WANTED: Wife with Backbone & Standards

Story of a Mail-Order Bride

“When I think of what we call the “woman’s touch,” I immediately see a man living alone in the old west who gets himself a mail-order bride. She takes one look at his disheveled cabin and gets out the broom and bucket and whips the place into shape. The next scene in the movie shows ruffled curtains blowing in the windows, fresh bread coming out of the oven, and a cleaned up cowboy sitting meekly at the table, eating his dinner with newly acquired, civilized manners ...

If the above mail-order bride had not been a powerful force for good, the house would still be a pigsty and the man would still smell to high heaven. But she had a backbone and a standard (and was cute to boot), and the man readily conformed so that he could share her bed and board. This is how it should be, and the men know it. In fact, the men like it that way. It makes life far more interesting and gives them purpose and a heritage, someone to defend and provide for.

On the other hand, if the women are willing to compromise, few men will argue about it. If she will climb into his bed (or someone else’s) without a marriage commitment, who’s to complain? He can have all the benefits of marriage with none of the responsibilities. This has a far-reaching effect on our culture: men become more immature, irresponsible, reckless, and selfish; the women try to take up the slack but become restless, competitive, insecure, and discontent.

Imagine for a moment what would happen if women across our country suddenly said something like, ‘You must be crazy if you think I will sleep with you without a wedding.’ Not only would there be a diamond shortage, we would have far fewer miserable, misplaced women with big paychecks and nothing to go home to.”

Quote is an excerpt from the article, "The Woman's Touch" by Nancy Wilson. Published by Credenda Agenda.

Got quotes? Please join Barbara at Stray Thoughts for her "thinkful" Monday meme, The Week in Words.

A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. (Prov 31: 10-14 MSG)

Photos: FotoIervolino & (Flickr)





Care to share your reflections?

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Adopt a Book

7 Best Friends to Make You Smile

These fine, furry friends need a new home. Will you provide a safe, comfortable place for my happy pets? No need to feed and water them, just enjoy.

Our recent move has forced me to cull and consolidate my library.
When our son flew in to help us unpack our over-loaded U-Haul van, he was horrified. It was his job to lift all those boxes and boxes of books into the garage. There were five full bookcases of mine alone!

Uh, we won't bring up e-Dad's ...

We've agreed to lighten our book load well before our next move.
I thought these particular titles might be of interest to you. If you'd like to have one (or all of them) leave a comment, e-mail me, or contact me through Facebook.

7 great books have their tails 'a-waggin'!

1. Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
2. Authentic Faith by Gary Thomas
3. Love Busters by Willard Harley
4. Generation NeXt Marriage by Tricia Goyer
5. Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado
6. Acts: A Commentary for Students by Philip Bence
7. The Highly Selective Thesaurus for the Extraordinarily Literate
by Eugene Ehrlich

Bonus: Laughing in the Dark by Chonda Pierce (Not pictured. Just found it!)

I'm willing to part with these great volumes for just $2.00 per book. Shipping is $3.00 per book.

That's a $5.00 bargain!

Come and get 'em!


3 Easy Steps to Adopt a Book

To simplify the transaction, I'm taking payment in the form of Amazon.com gift cards.

• For each book, e-mail me an Amazon.com gift card for $5.
• I'll hold the gift card until you receive your book(s). You can cancel
at any time.
• Let me know when your shipment arrives, so I know it's safe to use
the gift card.


Top Photo: thruCJzEyez (Flickr)



Up Next—Marriage Quote for "The Week in Words" at Stray Thoughts

Questions? Leave me a comment.

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How to Spot Mission Revival Style ...

With Ease! Ten Telltale Signs

When do you feel closest to God? In prayer, study, and worship? Perhaps you sense His presence outdoors while enjoying the beauty of nature. Author Gary Chapman (The Five Love Languages and God speaks Your Love Language) has made some brilliant comparisons between our “love language” and our “God language.” Discover more here.

If you’re like me, one of your love languages is “receiving gifts.” In fact, you’re probably highly visual and intuitive. No doubt, you enjoy the symbolism of a gift and the emotions that each gift elicits.

For example, a sparkling diamond ring symbolizes everlasting love and makes you feel secure.

The Female Urge to Nest

One of the best spontaneous gifts my husband ever gave me was a copy of Côté Sud. It's a glossy “shelter magazine” with romantic images from the French Riviera. Flipping through, I could easily imagine myself living there in high style.

Ooh la la! Who wouldn't love the quality of light, the azure Mediterranean, and dining on the best cuisine that euros can buy? Tearing up, I felt that e-Dad deeply understood and affirmed my domestic instincts and aesthetic nature.

We haven’t moved to France (yet), but living in Arizona comes close. Why? In this state there plenty of references to Spain, another European country with a rich cultural history like France.




Santa Barbara: Queen of the Missions

From history class, you probably recall that the Spanish settled in Mexico. Eventually they migrated into California establishing 21 missions from San Diego to Sonoma along the old El Camino Real.

Each mission church displays classical elements of Spanish Colonial architecture. Personally, my favorite example is the “Queen of the Missions” in Santa Barbara. Have you seen it? While on tour there, we learned that the mission church has served the local parish continuously since its founding
in 1786.

Embellished with wrought iron, terra cotta, and carved wood, the structure is patterned after an ancient Latin chapel in pre-Christian Rome. The church’s twin bell towers and Doric facade present an impression of history, grandeur, and stability.




Church Architecture is “John the Baptist of the Heart”

Upon entering the beautiful and imposing structure, a feeling of awe quietly descended upon me. My “God language” must have switched on, for suddenly I became aware of the majesty and vast generosity of our Creator. Although we're Protestant evangelicals, I felt the strong urge to slide into a pew and give thanks in the stillness.

Bearing silent witness, church architecture can speak volumes to believers and unbelievers alike. Jacques Maritain aptly says: “The arts are the John the Baptist of the heart, preparing the affections for Christ.”

Residential Mission Revival Style

It’s not surprising that Mission Revival style house plans had their origins in California where they had begun as church architecture. The style ran its course in the American landscape from 1890 to about 1920. There are scattered examples across U.S. suburbia, but it never became a popular house style outside of the southwestern states.

Happily for us, the home we’ve just leased in the Phoenix area strongly exhibits the Mission Revival style. Imagine living inside the “Queen of the Missions” at Santa Barbara every single day! I feel privileged to be settled in a casa whose structural elements reflect the historic California mission churches
I love so much.





Ten Terms to Learn

You don’t know a parapet from a portale? I didn’t either. Let me share what I’ve been learning. Built within a master-planned community in the 1980s, our casa displays ten features typical of the mission style.

1. Single-story house with roof parapet (short barrier wall)
2. Flat roof drained by a canale or jutting water spout
3. Earth-colored stucco walls with rounded corners
4. Rows of vigas or beams that protrude through exterior walls and provide structural support for clay roof-tiles
5. Covered portale or porch that faces a courtyard
6. Brick detailing such as floors (ladrillado)
7. Restrained use of hand-painted accent tiling (blue & white)
8. Nicho or wall niche for displaying objects, photographs, or flowers
9. Arched interior doorways
10. Window that faces street is protected with wrought iron grillwork

Noticeably absent is a quatrefoil window. However, in the front courtyard, there’s a live burbling fountain (below) which incorporates that pleasing design element.

Come see us!

“In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.” (John 14:12 NIV)

Related Articles

• The Tabernacle of Moses (Video)


• ICEHOTEL: A Wedding Chapel Made of Ice


• Why We Need the Arts

Photos: Copyright © 2011 C h r y s a l i s ღ

What do you enjoy about this building style? (It’s not for everyone.)

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Family Life: Moving on With God

Anticipating Autumn

So how are you?

Has your summer been fun and full of new experiences? Did you manage to sneak away alone—chilled frappuccino in hand—for a private day of relaxation at the lake, the mountains, or the library?

With school already starting in some parts of the country, I sense that we’re beginning to turn the corner for that long, sweet slide into autumn. Summer is slipping away, but along with the cooler weather a host of new activities is coming. If you’re like me, you can’t wait!

Here at Chrysalis, our bi-monthly Blog Hop, Marriage Monday will begin again on September 12, 2011. Please join us! If you’re Christian “foodie,” take note that I’ll start posting tips, reviews, and recipes at Susannah’s {Kitchen} again very soon. Watch for summer favorites that are keeping us cool as we adjust to our new life in Arizona.

You might recall that we’re expecting our first grandchild in early October. (Oceanography graduates, our daughter and son-in-law's nursery theme is sea turtles. Cute, eh?) As soon as she goes into labor, I’ll be jumping on a plane headed to D.C. to welcome our squiggly new family member.

I admit, it’s going to be a slightly daunting experience to play “e-Nana” for a couple of weeks. After I’ve blubbered all over their precious baby for awhile, I expect my writing/blogging life to resume some sense of normalcy again in November.

And the Lord knows, this certainly a “new normal” for e-Dad and me!

In early July, we left the green and beautiful (but perenially overcast) Pacific Northwest behind. With all our worldly goods packed tightly into a
U-Haul van, we arrived in the Sonoran Desert just as a monstrous and historic dust storm hit the valley. We had barely half-an-hour to unload a small open ramp trailer hitched up to the
U-Haul.

(Yes, we miscalculated. At the last minute, we had to figure out a way to transport those final-unplug items like the coffee-maker that we just couldn’t squeeze into the van.)

Sadly, great-grandma’s Wedgewood English bone china didn’t survive the bumpy
4-day journey very well. The remaining intact teapot (pictured below),
7 dinner plates, and 8 saucers are now up for sale. I have salad plates and espresso cups too. Drop me an e-mail if you need pieces from the pattern called “Devon Sprays!”

Our new city, home, and church are wonderful blessings—and far beyond what we expected. First and foremost, we wake up to brilliant sunshine nearly every single day. (Those poor Seattleites really haven’t had a summer yet. It’s 68 degrees F… and holding.)

We took leap of faith, and leased a lovely Mission Revival-style patio townhome, sight unseen. It's the kind with thick adobe walls and a red tile roof. And exterior is peachy-pink! We’re thrilled with the 14-foot vaulted ceilings (not apparent in the listing), and the many resort-like neighborhood amenities.
It's the off-season here in the desert, so our monthly expenses are very affordable.




Since the Valley of the Sun offers quite a few tourist attractions, we have a myriad of exciting choices when “date nights” roll around. Thanks to Shelley at Spilling the Beans, I’ll be using Groupon discounts to save money on restaurants and entertainment.

Our new church is amazing! We’ve registered for the free welcome lunch this coming Sunday. And the women’s ministry will be kicking off for fall soon with a dessert Fiesta, complete with live mariachi band!

We’re loving the solid expository Bible preaching from the pulpit, and next month we’ll be joining a couples’ small group for more teaching, global missions, and fellowship. The church is 5000 members strong, with a Christian school and bookstore.

Do I sound excited?

I am. I really am! Transitioning from “Mom and Dad” to “empty nesters” while navigating a nasty recession was challenging and very sad. But now we know that God still has new adventures, new friends, and new spiritual growth ahead for both of us.
(Not to mention grand-parenting!) And you’re invited to continue growing right along with me here at Chrysalis.

Check back soon for more blog posts, and please consider linking up for Marriage Monday on September 12, 2011.

I’ll be over to read and comment at your place in bloggyville very soon!

Hugs, e-Mom ღ

Related Resources

1. After the Boxes are Unpacked: Moving on After Moving In
by Susan Miller

2. “Ouch, my Nest is Empty. So What’s Next?” by e-Mom at Chrysalis

"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." (Heb 11:8 NIV)

Up Next—Art & Architecture: Mission Revival Style (Glossary)

How did you spend your vacation?

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