Marriage Monday Reminder

Group Topic: Faith

On Friday, Prince William and Kate Middleton were married at Westminster Abbey in a traditional Anglican ceremony. Beginning with "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today... " these familiar words were recited from The Book of Common Prayer.

However, did you know that William and Kate wrote their own prayer? Read aloud by the Bishop of London, it came straight from their hearts:

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.

No matter how you feel about the royals and their nuptials, who can resist a peek into the budding spiritual lives of the future king and queen of England? And how heartening to witness an unapologetic church wedding in a day when so many young people favor permanent cohabitation over the public commitment of marriage.

Your Personal Invitation

Please join us once again for Marriage Monday on May 2, 2011. Our group topic this time is “faith.” How does your Christian faith express itself between you and your spouse? Do you pray together? Or discuss theology? Do you lead or attend a couples Bible study? Perhaps you’re spiritually unequal, yet you're thriving nonetheless. Feel free to share any aspect of your spiritual journey with us, dear sister.

I’m looking forward to meeting you back here at Chrysalis on Monday.

See you very soon!

For Newcomers: Introduction to the Marriage Monday Blog Hop

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. (Rom 12:9-13 NIV, part of the Lesson recited at the Royal Wedding)

Photo: Getty Images



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Welcome to Marriage Monday

How Marriage Works:

21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #3: Leadership

Q. How can I put the hero back in my husband?

"My husband lost his job a month ago. He spends all of his time cruising the net, watching the news, and shooting hoops. I'm afraid he's never going shake off his bad mood and look for employment. What can I do?"

A. When her relationships fail, every woman interprets the data this way—at least initially— “I’m unlovable.” The end of an important relationship brings the worst kind of pain to women. It strikes at her heart in a way that men cannot understand, and will never know. God has wired women to receive love and emotional support, and when the love they need is lost or withheld, they suffer terribly.

Men have a different vulnerability. When a man is unsuccessful, he interprets the data this way—at least initially—“I’m a loser.” When he loses his job, his marriage fails, or his ministry goes nowhere, it brings him the worst kind of pain. It strikes at his heart in a way that women cannot understand, and will never know. God has wired men to lead and achieve, and when they are unable to succeed in serving others they suffer terribly.

Just as women fear the loss of love, men fear failure. Where women need to receive love, men need to give it. Every man needs to be needed. When a man has been knocked down in life a few times, sometimes he feels like giving up. It’s his fear of looking like a fool and failing again that causes him to hang back and stop taking risks on behalf of others. That’s why we see so many women "wearing the pants," while their men cower quietly in the shadows.




Five Phrases that Will Motivate Your Husband to Lead

So what’s a wife to do? When Mr. Right has wimped out and is stuck on the sofa with the TV remote in hand, there are several things we can say to support our husbands and get them back on the front lines of life again. I’ve learned to resist the temptation to take over, ask e-Dad to talk about his feelings, and trying to “mother” him. Here are five phrases I’ve memorized to encourage him on those down, depressing days:

1. Do say: “You can handle it!” Don’t say: “Oh you poor thing.”

2. Do say: “It’s no big deal.” Don’t say: “Oh no, what are we going to do?”

3. Do say: “What can I do to help?” Don’t say: “You should do so-and-so…”

4. Do ask him directly: “Would you help me with …?” or “I need your advice/opinion.” Don’t wait for him to notice your need and offer his support.

5. This last statement is e-Dad’s favorite. Most men love some variation of the macho phrase: “Buck up, and keep on moving.”

These phrases certainly do not come naturally to me; they’ve been learned over time. You’ll notice that if I said anything that even remotely resembles these statements to my girlfriends or daughter, they would disown me forever! However, I also use them to great effect with my brother, son and father. Men are a pushover when you understand their unique needs and speak their language.

"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Eph 5:33 NIV)

Related: Finding the Hero in Your Husband by Julianna Slattery

Photos: (1), (2), & (4) rrb3m; (3) JeffKubina (Flickr)



What key phrases have you found to be successful in promoting your husband's leadership?


It’s Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!



1. Today’s Topic: Leadership. If you would like to link a post for Marriage Monday, take a minute to read the introduction to our topic. What advice would you give to a young wife about to be married? Do you have any special insights that you would like to pass on to others?

2. Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM (PDT) on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Remember to try your link to make sure it works correctly. And don't forget to leave me a comment!

3. Welcome! If you're new at Chrysalis, please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking at Chrysalis today, sweet sister!

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Marriage Monday Reminder

Group Topic: Leadership

Hello my sweet friends. I’ve missed you! We enjoyed a wonderful trip to Arizona recently, and we soaked up the warm desert colors and sunshine. After a short spring bloggy break, now I’m ready to get back to writing and visiting blogs. Whoohoo!

Marriage Monday is coming right up in two days, and you’re invited to join us for the topic of Leadership in Christian marriage. Please consider linking your post here at Chrysalis on Monday April 18, 2011.

As women, God has wired us to be provided for, protected, and loved. And our husbands really do want to sweep us off our feet and play the hero. So what do we do when prince charming has taken some serious blows in life? We’ve watched him sheath his sword, shrug his shoulders, and slink off stage to sulk in the shadows.

How do we encourage our man to get back in the spotlight and exercise his masculine strengths on our behalf once again? Tell us what you’ve learned about male leadership in marriage. As always, you're the expert. Remember to use your creativity and have some fun.

See you here on Monday!

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
(1 Pet 3:7 NIV)

Related: Introduction to the Marriage Monday Blog Hop

Photo: Editor B (Flickr)





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