Sunday, February 27, 2011

Mary Mohler in the Spotlight

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Five Quotes from “Motherhood Matters”

An avid political hound, my husband listens to the news several times a day. For instance, before starting work in our home office he plugs in his radio ear buds, turns the TV on, switches on his iPhone, and then fires up his laptop. Plugged into lots of lively debate on every “issue du jour” he’s a happy camper!

Although he’s a vibrant Christian, e-Dad enjoys tuning in to the conservative Jewish pundit, Michael Medved, and a rabbi by the name of Daniel Lapin. Jokingly, e-Dad refers to Rabbi Lapin as his “personal rabbi.”

My Personal Rabbi

Well, I have a “personal rabbi” too—Dr. Albert Mohler.
I follow his weblog with great enthusiasm. He’s not really Jewish, but instead he’s thoroughly Christian, and president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Al Mohler writes fearlessly from a biblical worldview about issues pertaining to the “culture wars.” After
e-Dad, he’s the finest thinker I know.

Nearly thirty years together, Albert is married to a lovely woman named Mary—who happens to be a fine thinker like her husband. Al and Mary have two grown children named Katie and Christopher. Mary wrote a wonderful article for the Journal of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood entitled, Motherhood Matters.

Encouragement for Stay-at-Home Moms

If you’re a stay-at-home Mom, I encourage you to read it. In her no nonsense way, Mary offers practical encouragement for women who are running the long-distance marathon called motherhood. Here are five meaningful quotes from her article.

The Hand that Rocks the Cradle …

1.
“Motherhood is an incredible calling and has been called the most honored, cherished, important job there is.
The notion that motherhood is the preeminent force for change in the world is captured in the oft quoted William Ross poem with the line, ‘The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.’”

2. “Somewhere along the way, society lost the respect it once had for mothers. I am certain that our grandmothers and great-grandmothers didn't face this problem. Too many moms today feel unappreciated by society as a whole. Perhaps it is due to the fact that moms don't receive a report card or job evaluation sheet. Perhaps others cave to the pressure to believe that performing the ‘menial’ tasks associated with motherhood is nothing more than what a daycare worker can do and makes no significant contribution to our world.

Thankfully, most moms don't allow themselves to think that way for long. They save the precious handmade Mother's Day cards. They savor the sweet, sticky kisses. They remember forever how their children's sparkling eyes light up when they spot mom at the door of the church nursery, knowing that no one else will suffice. At the end of the day, motherhood matters because we are charged with the awesome task to train the next generation and, together with their fathers, arm them to be warriors for Christ. It is a daunting task that requires a great deal of energy, wisdom, and time.”

3. “I am quickly becoming a freak of nature. Some of you are freaks like me! Did you know that less than 25 percent of married households have the husband as the sole financial provider? That's just one out of four. June Cleaver and Carol Brady stereotypes are now oddities.”

4.
It is also important to remind you of this: don't let anyone make you feel guilty for doing a full-time job full-time. Husbands should help kids understand that mommy's job is at home. They should be proud, never embarrassed, to be in the vast minority of kids who say, ‘My mom is a mom who stays at home with us,’ even though 75 percent of America's households cannot say that.”

5. “We face moral issues today as adults that our parents and grandparents did not face nor dream of facing. What will our kids be forced to deal with when they grow up? How will they possibly be ready to know how to respond? They will respond by building today upon what they learned yesterday. We have absolute truth found in God's word alone and as we impart that day by day, little by little, we are being used by God to equip the next generation. Isn't that awesome? Does that excite you? It should.”



Would you like to learn more about Mary Mohler? In this four-part interview with GirlTalk, Mary Mohler reflects on her life outside of motherhood as a seminary president; her role as director of Seminary Wives Institute; her involvement in their local crisis pregnancy center; and her love for college football.

Related

Find More Christian Encouragement: Courtney's Wednesday Blog Hop at Women Living Well, Barbara’s Monday quote meme The Week in Words at Stray Thoughts, Tiffini's Word Women Wednesdays at House of Belonging, and the ever-popular Carnival of Homeschooling.

Photos: Inside Southern Seminary, Google Images, mudkat (Flickr)

Up Next—Arts & Culture: Nine Symbols of Judaism

What is your most urgent challenge as a stay-at-home Mom?




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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Is Jesus Really Divine?

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Q & A with a Friend of Chrysalis (Part 2)

Q. I have a friend who, in so many things, points to being spirit-filled. And it's not a faith based on works. She's really just living out a love for God, as far as I can see. On almost all points of scripture, we would agree. Except the biggie: Christ. She believes He is God's Son, but she believes that He is not God.

A.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Ouch! I know it's frustrating to see someone you care about departing from biblical truth in her thinking.

Jesus own self-understanding as Deity is key. He says, "If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him" (John 14:7). There are many Scriptures where Jesus clearly allies himself with the Godhead—not the least of which is his claim to have the authority to forgive sins.

Ultimately, the Jewish religious leadership found Jesus guilty of a capital crime for the blasphemy of claiming to be equal with God (Mark 14:60-64).

If you have time, I recommend that you read, Jesus the Messiah: A Survey of the Life of Christ by Robert H. Stein. You will be blessed! It was required reading for my Gospels class at Northwest University (AOG).

"Stein declares that Jesus' supernatural nature, confirmed through Jesus' miracle-working ability, is the proper starting point for a study of the life of Christ. It is necessary, he argues, to speak of the Jesus of faith rather than merely a historical figure..."



This book will give you more fuel when presenting your point-of-view about Jesus' eternal nature to your friend.

What you're really fighting is a spiritual battle. It sounds like you've done a lot for your friend. At this point, prayer is certainly the best weapon you can use on her behalf.

Q. Thanks for your thoughts, e-Mom. I compiling a list of scriptures and thoughts for myself to give me a better grasp, and I'll be sure to check into the book suggestion!

A. That's a good plan. It's so helpful to look at and present the Scriptures.

Your friend seems to have a good mind. But her position indicates that she doesn't have a thorough grasp of Bible truth.

Hugs 'n Blessings, e-Mom ღ

Related

"Is the Trinity Really a Bible Doctrine? Q & A with a Friend of Chrysalis (Part 1)"


If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. (Rom 10:9 NIV)

Photos: hillary ryland (Flickr)

Up Next—Family Life: Why Motherhood Matters

Do you believe Jesus is Lord, and that God raised him from the dead? (If so, you will be saved.)




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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Is the Trinity Really a Bible Doctrine?

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Q & A with a Friend of Chrysalis (Part 1)

Q. Hi, e-Mom! I thought this article, “Christianity: Dogma, Doctrine, & Opinion” was helpful. I have a friend who believes that Jesus is God's son, but denies His pre-extistence and the Trinity. What are some of your thoughts? (Assuming you have time to answer.)

A. Thanks for reading my blog! I’m truly honored.

Ah yes, the Trinity. Your friend’s questions CAN be answered. But the Trinity is a profound doctrine that must be accepted first by faith. Since the study of theology is “faith seeking understanding,” we can never lead someone to faith in Jesus Christ through the mind only.

The study of theology and Christian apologetics is for believers. Unbelievers must have their hearts convicted by the Spirit first (John 16:8-11). Fortunately, we can trust that the Father is always at work, drawing people to Himself (John 6:44).

As believers, we accept the words of Jesus in Matt 28:9. “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…” Here, Jesus is saying that Christian baptism identifies a person as one who believes in the Father; in the Son whom the Father sent to die for our sins; and in the Holy Spirit whom the Son sent to dwell in our hearts.

It is true that the word “Trinity” does not appear in the Bible, but the Trinity is nevertheless a Bible belief, as we’ve just seen above. The word “incarnation” does not appear in the Bible either, but we use it as a one-word summary of our belief that Jesus was God in the flesh.

Someone has aptly said, “The New Testament is the Old Testament revealed; the Old Testament is the New Testament concealed.” God’s revelation of Himself through the Holy Scriptures is progressive; i.e. we don’t learn very much about the Son—the second person of the Trinity—until the NT.

Numerous prophecies in the OT point to NT Jesus of Nazareth as the Messiah.
Some scholars argue that God “walking” in the Garden before the Fall and the mysterious person in the fiery furnace in Daniel were pre-incarnational appearances of the Son. Also, at creation, the spoken Word is thought to be the Son as well. (See Gen 1 and John 1).

St. Patrick is believed to have used the shamrock as a way of illustrating the Trinity. He asked, “Is this one leaf or three? If one leaf, why are there three lobes of equal size? If three leaves, why is there just one stem? If you cannot explain so simple a mystery as the shamrock, how can you hop to understand one so profound as the Holy Trinity?” Even though this is an overly simplified way to explain the Trinity, some teachers find it helpful.

Accepting a doctrine like the Trinity by faith does not exclude reason, but it also means that we cannot always apply the same logic that we use in mathematics. Without the Trinity, the Christian doctrine of salvation by God’s grace cannot stand (Eph 2:4-9). Some religious groups that claim to believe in the God of the Bible, but they reject the Trinity. They have a mistaken understanding of salvation that is based on good works, rather than the atoning blood of Jesus Christ.

Therefore, belief in the Trinity is foundational to our faith; it is a vital tenent held by “orthodox” Christians. By definition then, it is a Church dogma, and unbelief in the Trinity is considered apostacy.

(By the way, I am in no way making a judgment on the spiritual condition of your friend's heart or her eternal destiny!)

If you’re interested, you can order a short pamphlet that I really like by Rose Publishing called The Trinity. This booklet adequately answers three questions:

1. What is the Trinity?

2. Answers to Misunderstandings

3. What Early Christians Said About the Trinity

Hugs, e-Mom


Related Article: Christianity: Dogma, Doctrine, & Opinion

Visit Courtney's Wednesday Blog Hop at Women Living Well, Angela's Women in the Word at Good Morning Girls, and Tiffini's Word Women Wednesday at The House of Belonging for sweet fellowship and inspiration.

Photos: cobalt123, (Flickr)

Up Next—Is Jesus Really Divine? Q & A with a Friend of Chrysalis (Part 2)

What else would be helpful to answer this reader's question?




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Sunday, February 20, 2011

Marriage: Faith & Fidelity

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25 Consequences of Adultery

As women, it's easy to point fingers at men. We're convinced they're the weaker gender when it comes to marital infidelity. For a variety of reasons, men do face greater temptation in the area of sexual purity.

However as they say, "It takes two to tango." Women can also fall into the pit of marital unfaithfulness. If you're in your mid-to-late thirties, please beware. You're in an especially vulnerable time of life because your sex drive is just beginning to peak.

Fortunately, we can avoid the sin of adultery and avoid potential disaster to our marriage by yielding to the power of the Spirit (1 Cor 10:13). Knowledge about what might occur as a result of eating this forbidden fruit is also a powerful deterrent.


Checklist of Possible Outcomes for Women


1. Temporary pleasure
2. Emotional highs
3. Emotional lows
4. Addictive & irrational behaviors
5. Heartbreak
6. Confusion
7. Damaged prayer life
8. Loss of interest in Bible study
9. Broken fellowship with other believers
10. Loss of integrity
11. Loss of self-respect
12. Guilt
13. Anger
14. Depression
15. Dishonesty toward your spouse
16. Deceit toward your friends
17. Emotional injury to your spouse
18. Domestic violence
19. Divorce
20. Confusion in your children
21. Poor role model to your children
22. Spiritual harm to your children
23. Sexually transmitted diseases
24. Illegitimate childbirth
25. Abortion
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body."
(1 Cor 6:18 NIV)

Related

Why Sex Matters to Women
The Secret to Igniting Female Passion

Photos: kalandrakas & Vainsang (Flickr)


Informal Marriage Blog Hop

You're invited to link up today. If you’ve written a post about any aspect of Christian marriage, please jump in. Please link to your post, not your blog. Also, somewhere in your post, please include a text link back to Chrysalis. This linky will close at midnight on Wednesday. I look forward to reading your thoughts!

Remember, our ‘official’ monthly Marriage Monday Meme will be on March 7, 2010. Our group topic will be announced next week.

Text Linky




Coming Soon—Family Life: Why Motherhood Matters

Is adultery the "unpardonable sin?"




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Olive Oil: Finest Food in the Bible

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How & Why to Use Olive Oil

Meet me over at Susannah's {Kitchen} today! You'll discover the three grades of olive oil. Also, you'll learn the health benefits that make olive oil the finest food in the Bible.

By the way, did you know that olive oil helps with weight loss? That's because it keeps you feeling satisfied for longer.

He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on [olive] oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. (Luke 10:34 NIV)


Related

Photos: whitneybee (Flickr)



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Thursday, February 17, 2011

Humor: A Cute In-Law Joke

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Now that our daughter is married, I feel free to make in-law jokes—because I am one! It's good to be able to laugh at oneself, don't you think?

The Sunday Drive

A husband and wife were driving down a country road. In the midst of a heated disagreement, everything went totally quiet. As they crested the top of a hill, there was a pasture filled with cows, goats, and pigs.

The husband looked over at his wife and sarcastically remarked, “Relatives of yours?”

“Yep” she replied. “In-laws.”

Have a wonderful mirth-filled weekend!

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." (Prov 17:22 KJV)




Joke is via the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) weblog.

Related: Care to join us over at Kim's blog Homesteader's Heart for Friday Funnies? Also, make new friends by joining Michelle's Friday meme, Caffeinated Randomness at Lost in the Prairies... Found by God.

Photos: Skinnyde2 & paraflyer (Flickr)



Up Next—Marriage: 25 Consequences of Adultery


Are you grinning ... or groaning?




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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Finances: You Can't Take it
With You ...

5 Comments


... But You Can Send it On Ahead!

“You’ve heard of prayer warriors. What about giving warriors? God has entrusted us with so much. Perhaps He is raising up a great army of givers, and He’s calling us to enlist.”—Randy Alcorn

As women, all of us have some amount of money to manage and spend. If you’re a SAM, you and your husband have probably budgeted a certain amount to run the household. Most wives have complete freedom to spend that money on groceries and incidentals as they see fit.

If you earn income from part-time or full-time work, you likely pool your earnings with your husband’s income in a joint bank account. From there, you’ve come to an agreement about how all of your hard-earned dollars will be allocated including bills, emergency savings, reducing debt, and
long-term investing.

As a couple, do you give anything to God? How regularly? No matter how your family income is accumulated, it’s important to remember that as Christian wives, we do have an influence over how it's disbursed. And if we truly believe Jesus’ words (spoken for our benefit) in Acts 20:35, as a couple we should be giving regularly to the work of God.

“It is more blessed to give than receive.”


Wives Can Set the Example of Generous Giving

Statistics indicate that on average, most American Christian families only give two to three percent of their income to churches and other ministries. Many women want to give more, but some complain that their husbands are afraid to. Other wives are married to unbelievers who have no interest in giving to any kind of charity at all.

However, all of us can experience the joy of giving to the Lord without lecturing or usurping our husband’s leadership. While praying that the Spirit increases our spouse’s trust in Him, we can take action by redirecting a few dollars away from some small personal indulgence. Are you willing to give up one latte a week? A used book or two? I am ... and I do!

Over the years, and especially through life’s financial ups and downs, I’ve discovered that whenever I model the joy of giving toward God’s work, my husband quickly follows suit. By purposing in my heart to trust the Lord as my provider first, somehow it releases my husband from the pressure to succeed by his own power. With both of us in a more faith-filled frame of mind, miracles start to happen. Prayers are answered, and most importantly we're filled with joy.


The Treasure Principle

Let's listen to some thoughts from Randy Alcorn’s concise, motivational, and profound book, The Treasure Principle (Multnomah, 2001). Rather than trying to influence Christians give more out of guilt Alcorn says, “I want to emphasize the joy and pleasure of giving.”

Alcorn’s treasure principle in a nutshell is this: “You can’t take it with you, but you can send it on ahead.” He bases this principle on the verse, “Don’t store up for yourselves treasures on earth… instead store up your treasures in heaven.” (Matt 6:19-21)

In his book, the author lays out six essential principles. As Christian wives, we can take these to heart even if our husbands don’t. Paraphrased they are:

1. God owns everything. I am merely the manager of the money that flows through my hands.
2. My heart always goes to where I put God’s money.
3.
My future in eternity—not the present in time—is my true home.
4.
I should invest for (long-term) eternal rewards, not just for (short-term) temporal security.
5. Giving generously is the only remedy for greed and materialism.
6.
God prospers me not to raise my standard of living, but to raise my standard of giving.


Are We Despairing or Rejoicing?

More women are working and earning money than at any other time in American history, and that includes Christian women. Marketers are just beginning to understand the purchasing power of the female sector. And we’ve all read about the tremendous influence women have to drive sales through social media.

So we’re smart about earning, endorsing businesses, and helping our husbands manage the family finances (without taking complete control, of course). But have we learned how to give God our first fruits?

“There’s only one kind of investment that’s risk-free—and the returns are out of this world.”

“God wants your heart. He isn’t looking just for ‘donors’ for his kingdom, those who stand outside the cause and dispassionately consider acts of philanthropy. He’s looking for disciples immersed in the causes they give to. He wants people to be so filled with a vision for eternity that they wouldn’t dream of not investing their money, time, and prayers where they will matter most.

Of course, giving isn’t the only good thing we can do with money. We need to feed, clothe, house, and transport our families. But when the basics are taken care of, why shouldn’t the rest go toward treasures in heaven?

Moses left Egypt’s treasures ‘because he was looking ahead to his reward’ (Heb 11:26)

He who laid up treasures on earth spends his life backing away from his treasures. To him, death is loss.

He who lays up treasures in heaven looks forward to eternity; he’s moving daily toward his treasures. To him, death is gain.

He who spends his life moving away from his treasures has reason to despair. He who spends his life moving toward his treasures has reason to rejoice.

Are you despairing or rejoicing?”—Randy Alcorn


You can read more wisdom from Randy Alcorn in this article, Lifestyles of the Rich & Worry-Free at Eternal Perspective Ministries. I highly recommend
The Treasure Principle.


Related Links

Book Review: Heaven by Randy Alcorn
Bible Study: Firstfruits of the Lord
Visit Courtney's Wednesday Blog Hop at Women Living Well for fellowship and inspiration.
Find more Book Reviews at What's on Your Nightstand the fourth Tuesday of every month at Five Minutes for Books. Also, visit Semicolon's Saturday Review of Books.

Photos: japhive & tranchis (Flickr)



Up Next—Humor: The Sunday Drive

How did your parents model charitable giving?




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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Holiday: What’s the Origin of Valentine’s Day?

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Pop Quiz: Fact or Fiction

1. According to Hallmark, more than 163 million cards—not including packaged kids’ valentines—are exchanged in the United States on Valentine's Day.

Fact Fiction

2. Valentine’s Day is celebrated in many countries around the world including Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, Australia, Italy and Denmark.

Fact Fiction

3. The origin of Valentine’s Day is shrouded in mystery and legend.

Fact Fiction

4. St. Valentine was a Catholic priest in the Roman Empire who helped persecuted Christians during the reign of Claudius II. He was jailed and later beheaded on Feb. 14.

Fact Fiction

5. St. Valentine was a bishop of Terni who was also beheaded.

Fact Fiction

6. St. Valentine was someone who secretly married couples when marriage was forbidden, or suffered in Africa, or wrote letters to his jailer's daughter. Like the others, he was probably beheaded.

Fact Fiction

7. St. Valentine was possibly all or none of
4-6 above.

Fact Fiction

8. The confusion over the origin of the holiday led the Catholic Church, in 1969,
to drop St. Valentine's Day from the Roman calendar of official worldwide Catholic feasts.

Fact Fiction

9. The origins of St. Valentine’s Day lie in the ancient Roman fertility festival of Lupercalia, which was celebrated on February 15.

Fact Fiction

10. During the festival, young women would place their names in a large urn. The young men would draw a name and then be sexually involved with that young woman for the following year.

Fact Fiction

11. Pope Gelasius I was, understandably, less than thrilled with this custom.

Fact Fiction

12. Pope Gelasius I changed the lottery so that both young men and women drew the names of Catholic saints. The young people were then expected to emulate them for the following year.

Fact Fiction

13. Instead of Lupercus, the patron of the feast became St. Valentine.

Fact Fiction

14. For Roman young men, the day continued to be an occasion to seek the affections of young women.

Fact Fiction

15.
It became a tradition to give out handwritten messages of admiration that included Valentine's name.

Fact Fiction

16. Still other European legends from the Middle Ages cite the fact that February 14 marked the date when birds began mating.

Fact Fiction

17. Valentine’s Day became a holiday dedicated to romantic love. People have been observing it by writing love letters, sending flowers, candy, and small gifts to their beloved for many centuries.

Fact Fiction

* Answers: Please look in the comment box!


I’m indebted to two articles from American Catholic.org for this information.

Related: Visit the Carnival of Homeschooling for more "thinkful" posts like this.

Photo Credits: DaySpring's Mr. and Mrs. LOVE Collection. (Click here for more information.)




Up Next—Book Review: The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn

How well did you score?




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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Nine Hospitality Links for Two

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How to Make Your Valentine Roar Like a King!

Did you know that feeding your man well touches something primal inside? Like Queen Esther, you can reach your husband's heart by preparing a special banquet just for him. Use the following L.I.O.N.S. H.E.A.R.T. links if you're planning to celebrate Valentine's Day this weekend. Then listen to your husband roar like a king!






“If it pleases the king,” replied Esther, “let the king, together with Haman, come today to a banquet I have prepared for him.” “Bring Haman at once,” the king said, “so that we may do what Esther asks.” So the king and Haman went to the banquet Esther had prepared. As they were drinking wine, the king again asked Esther, “Now what is your petition? It will be given you. And what is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be granted.” (Esther 5:4-7 NIV)


Related: This post is linked at Michelle's blog, Lost in the Prairies... Found by God. Join us for her Caffeinated Randomness weekly blog hop on Fridays.

Photo Credits: (3) AWhiskandASpoon (4) Suviko (5) Hikiko Morix (8) Pelgen (Flickr) (6) HowAboutSomeGreekTonight.com



Up Next—Pop Quiz: What's the History of Valentine's Day?

How are you planning to celebrate February 14th this year?



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13 Phrases To Keep Your Friendships Thriving

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How to Say it Nicely and Keep the Peace

1. Do you have a minute?

This is a good line to use when you want to interrupt someone with a quick question. People usually want to give you their full attention, but often need a few seconds to shift gears.

2. Is this a good time for you?

This is another good line to use to interrupt someone, especially if you have a more lengthy conversation in mind. Whenever my daughter calls on the phone, she always prefaces her remarks with this question. Smart girl! Frequently, I use this line with my husband. I’ve discovered it’s not a good idea to barge ahead with my thoughts especially when he has clearly said, “No.”

3. Can I get back to you on that?

This is a great line to use when someone has asked a question that puts you on the spot. It’s a good one to use at work, especially when you’re supposed to be the expert. However, I’ve discovered that it’s better to humbly answer “I don’t know” than fumble around with a vague answer. People respect your honesty.

4. Thanks for your feedback. I’ll think about it.

This line can be used when someone has been critical, or has given you some unsolicited advice. Rather than being defensive and immediately dismiss them, it’s a good idea to privately consider their point-of-view. Our perception of a situation is often limited.

5. I’ve discovered that …

This is a great line to use when you want to give some direct advice or voice an opinion on a sensitive area of someone’s life. It disarms the listener by taking their attention off themselves. It also lets them see into your own areas of vulnerability.

6. Oh, you poor thing!

Women love sympathy and even better—empathy. We need to know we’re not alone in our struggles. Even if nothing can be done to solve a bad situation, just knowing another beating heart is concerned does wonders to lighten our load. I try to remember to use this line early and often, long before offering my “sage” advice.

7. You must be having a bad day. Is there something I can do to help?

When someone is really behaving badly, this is a good line to help them gain control. When people are upset, sometimes they don’t know how ugly they look until someone nicely points it out.

8. I’m so sorry for your loss. So-and-so will be missed.

We’re all tongue-tied when it comes to expressing the sympathy of loss. These two lines are usually all that’s needed. They can also be combined with a specific fond memory of the person who has passed away.

9. What I heard you say is …

Repeating back the general gist of a conversation is really helpful to the speaker, especially when their emotions are running high. Women need and want to be understood and “heard.” Active listening is a gift you can give any girlfriend, and you’re guaranteed to deposit mega-points into her emotional love tank.

10. I don’t quite understand. Would you mind rephrasing that?

My husband sometimes assumes that my level attention to a news item is similar to his. If he’s in a hurry, he tries to be brief with his opinions, expecting me to fill in the blanks. Asking for clarification is much better than letting an argument develop over my misunderstanding of his statements.

11. I am sorry you are hurting. Can you forgive me?

When a friend feels hurt by something they think we have said or done, they need two things; acknowledgement of their injured feelings, and help to let it go. With these two statements we are not necessarily accepting the blame, but they do help our friend move past her anger.

12. Whoops, I really blew it.

When we know we really are at fault, it’s best to be humble and honest. Even if we aren’t the only “bad guy” in a situation, this statement is so rare and surprising, that it tends to re-open conversation with the person we’ve offended.

13. Let’s agree to disagree.

When you’re at a total impasse with someone—a friend, spouse, or co-worker—this statement acknowledges there’s a conflict, but ends the conversation on a more congenial note.

Works for me!

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Prov 15:1 NIV)

Related Articles
Join the friendly folk at Kristen's We are THAT Family for Works-For-Me-Wednesday and plenty of other practical posts like this.



Photos: MikeBaird & Squacco (Flickr)



Up Next—Nine Hospitality Links for Two. Make Your Valentine Roar with Delight!

What are your favorite phrases for diffusing tension?



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Sunday, February 6, 2011

Welcome to Marriage Monday

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My Christian Testimony

“Carrie, you just can’t spend money we don’t have!” my father bellowed from the kitchen. “But Jim, I spent the money on presents for the children!” my mother yelled back in defense. My parents’ quarrel escalated and then I heard some scuffling, a shriek, and my mother’s footsteps pounding up the staircase to their bedroom.

That night, I fell asleep in my usual detached state of numbness. My parents' marriage had been deteriorating for about five years. By then, I was accustomed to blocking out the sounds of my mother’s muffled sobs.

It Christmas in the late 1960s. My mother had spent $350 on gifts that year, and my father was simply furious. I was fourteen years old, and every night I faithfully wrote in my diary. Of my parents’ fight, my diary simply says this:

“Mom and Dad had a fight last night. Dad hit her, but Mom explained what happened today. She says everything will be O.K. We’re broke. Dad says we’re going to have cheap meals for about six months.”

Despite the sums that were spent, my diary entry is dispassionate about list of  the presents I personally received—the Beatles’ White album, a Donovan poster, the game of Twister, a new pair of slippers, an alarm clock, a stuffed bear, a pair of pantyhose, a silver jewelry box, some stationery, rose scented soaps, dusting powder, a book of jokes, and a can of Taverner’s butterscotch candies.

On Christmas day, right after our gift opening frenzy, I noticed a wide piece of fabric ribbon lying on the floor next to the Christmas tree. A visual-symbolic thinker, I made a mental note to myself. “I’ll remember the last Christmas we are still together as a family by this long piece of red ribbon.”

To read the rest of My Christian Testimony please click here ...

Photo: PhilippBunge (Flickr)

Up Next—How to Say it Nicely ... and Keep the Peace

Are you hurting in your marriage? Please contact your pastor and get help today.




It's Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!

If you would like to link a post for Marriage Monday today, take a minute to read the introduction to our topic, “My Christian Testimony.

You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM (PST) on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons if you prefer.

If you're new at Chrysalis, please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. I'm e-Mom your hostess. Welcome! You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.

Thanks for linking your story at Chrysalis today, sweet sister!


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Thursday, February 3, 2011

Marriage Monday is Coming!

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Thanks for hosting Marriage Monday. I've been so blessed by it, and I know others are as well.—Jenni

You know something I love about you e-Mom? Rookie mom that I am, I always learn something new from you. I look forward to Marriage Monday (even though I don't always participate)... Thanks for being such a gracious hostess!—Sharon


Dear Sisters,

It is my joy and privilege to host Marriage Monday the first Monday of every month. You can call it a blog hop, a carnival or a meme—no matter. Those of you who have been regular contributors to Marriage Monday over the past 3-1/2 years can truly call yourselves a community.

Please Tell Your Salvation Story

If you’re new to Chrysalis and would like to join us, please do!
Our next meeting will be on Monday February 7, 2011. Since we took a lengthy break over the holiday period, let’s get acquainted once again. It seems fitting that our group topic this month would be,
“My Christian Testimony.” We’ve never shared our salvation stories before, have we?

As always, you have tons of freedom to tell your story. You’re invited to make it as long or as short as you like, add your own title, a video clip, music, poetry, images, a slide show, a vlog, or a podcast.

(The photo above hints at the theme of mine. Come back on Monday to find out what it means.)

Remember to invite with your friends! Share any part of this post on your blog, Facebook or Twitter.

Valentine’s Day

If you were hoping for a Valentine’s Day topic, I’m sorry but you’ll have to wait until next year. For Marriage Monday this month, let’s focus on celebrating our “First Love” (Rev 2:4).

However, you’re invited to visit my hospitality site Susannah’s {Kitchen} for a light-hearted repost, Top Tips for the Ultimate Valentine’s Celebration.”

Topics for 2011

In March, I plan to introduce a new list of Marriage Monday topics for the year. Based on your feedback, I'm calling them "21 Hot Buttons."

In the coming months, plan to share your thoughts on subjects like time management, ministry, infertility, boredom & apathy, communication, sexuality, personal growth, and addictions. And would you pray? I'd like to get organized and collect my own posts on these topics for an e-book that would reach a broader audience. I think you'll agree that the need is huge.

For graphic buttons and a general introduction to Marriage Monday, click here. For information about how to join the Blog List click here.

See you bright and early on Monday!

Hugs and blessings,

e-Mom ღ

Photos: cseward (Flickr)



Up Next—Marriage Monday: "My Christian Testimony"

Will you be joining us on Monday?




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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Book: Learn the Bible in 24 Hours

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A Detailed but Thoroughly Enjoyable Study of

the Most Profound Book Ever Written


The great discovery is that the Bible is a message system: it's not simply 66 books penned by 40 authors over thousands of years, the Bible is an integrated whole which bears evidence of supernatural engineering in every detail!—Chuck Missler

Many women like to dive into Scripture topically. And that’s a great way to learn and apply truth on a variety of subjects. However, the book I'm about to recommend is different. This one is for strategic big-picture lovers.

Engineer and author, Dr. Chuck Missler has provided a comprehensive overview of Scripture in 24 one-hour sessions. Learn the Bible in 24 Hours surveys the primary concepts, overarching themes, and historical background of the Old and New Testaments. You’ll nod your head, say Aha! and shout “Hallelujah” as you fly through its pages. Ultimately, you’ll feel empowered as you successfully navigate God’s Word from start to finish.

Presenting the Big Picture

I know some blogging Moms have made New Year’s resolutions to read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation.
If you’ve committed to that kind of program, Learn the Bible in 24 Hours (Thomas Nelson 2002) would be the perfect accompaniment to your Scripture reading sessions. This would be a great book for teens too. In fact, they can receive college credit from Louisiana Baptist University upon completion.

My copy of this book is marked up with pencil, has plenty of folded corners and notes-to-self. It’s the sort of enjoyable teaching you can really grasp hold of in a single sitting too. Why not curl up by the fire on a snowy day this month and spend the entire day reading? Prepare to be blown away by the consistency of God’s eternal plan. The meta-message is profound, and I get really excited just thinking about it!

Endorsements

I admit, I don’t agree with everything Missler teaches about such controversial subjects as the end times. (He's a dispensational premillenialist.) Yet, with endorsements by Tim LaHaye, Frank E. Peretti, Hal Lindsey, and Joseph Farah, you know this one has to be a worthwhile read. You can discuss Missler's ideas with others and formulate your own opinions.

If you would prefer to listen to the material, you can watch Dr. Missler teach this book in a series of videos. To give you a taste of Missler’s style, here is a clip from the Introduction (Session 1). With vocabulary like "extraterrestrial," "space-time continuum," and "hidden codes" that I guarantee Chuck Missler will pique the interest of the science and mystery-lover in you.

Related

1. Read-Through-the-Bible-Program for Shirkers & Slackers
2. How to Have an Inductive Bible Study
3. Meet some thoughtful Moms through the Carnival of Homeschooling


Photo: Moonbow by GarryVisionandImagination.com (Flickr)



Up Next—Marriage Monday Reminder

Do you prefer topical, devotional, or expository Bible study?



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