Sunday, January 30, 2011

Christianity: Dogma, Doctrine, & Opinion

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What is Theology?

There is a story about Augustine coming across a boy on the shores of the Mediterranean. The lad was filling buckets of water and pouring them into a hole in the sand. When Augustine asked the boy what he was doing, he replied, “I’m emptying the Mediterranean into this hole.” The famous theologian tilted back his head and laughed. “You’ll never fit the Mediterranean into that small hole. Stop wasting your time!” The lad looked up and said, “And you’re wasting your time writing a book about God. You’ll never be able to fit God into your book.”


Why Study Theology?

Theology is the study of God, his attributes, and his relationship with man and the universe—literally from the Greek terms, theos (God) and logos (word, teaching, study). Christians who study and write about theology, tend to divide their inquiry into several foundational and interrelated topics including:

  • God or Theology Proper
  • Humankind and the Created Universe or Anthropology
  • Jesus and Salvation or Christology
  • Holy Spirit or Pneumatology
  • The Church or Ecclesiology
  • Consummation of History or Eschatology

Theology & Right Thinking

Good theology helps Christians because it grounds our lives in biblically informed, Christian truth. Theology instructs Christians about what belongs to the distinctively Christian viewpoint on God and the world. As we come to see what marks true belief (orthodoxy), we are able to detect false teachings (heresy). By grounding us in The Truth, theology contributes to our becoming mature, stable disciples of Jesus who are not ‘blown here and there by every wind of teaching (Eph 4:14).’ Thus theology is vital to every Christian life.


Theology & Right Actions

It seems that theologians often split hairs about seemingly trvial matters. While good theology does include rigorous academic debate, it never stops there. Good theologians discuss intellectual questions because their chief concern is life. They want to know the truth not simply to think properly, but in order to live properly. Thus, good theology, brings the theoretical, academic, intellectual aspect of Christian faith into Christian living. In this way, theology becomes extremely practical—perhaps the most useful activity one ever engages in!



Theology’s First Critical Task

Theology's first task—the critical task—is to divide valid Christian beliefs into categories based on levels of importance. For instance, once a belief is determined to be valid and consistent with authoritative Christian norms, the next question is “How important is it?” Is this a belief all Christians must hold in order to be authentically Christian? Or is this belief one on which Christians may legitimately disagree?

Over the centuries theologians have developed three main categories of Christian beliefs: dogma, doctrine, and opinion.

1. DOGMA.
A belief is considered a dogma if it is essential to the Gospel. In other words, if its denial would entail apostasy—rejection of the Gospel of Jesus Christ—then it is a dogma.

2. DOCTRINE. A doctrine is a belief that is considered important but not absolutely essential. For example, a particular church denomination might consider the belief a test of fellowship without claiming that its denial amounts to apostasy. The denial of the doctrine may be considered a heresy but not necessarily outright apostasy.

3. OPINION. A belief is relegated to the status of opinion when it is considered interesting but relatively unimportant to the faith. One is allowed to believe whatever one wishes about that issue as long as it does not conflict with a dogma or doctrine. Denial of an opinion is simply a difference in interpretation.



Exegesis, Hermeneutics & Cultural Relativity

Exegesis is the careful, systematic study of Scripture to discover the historical and intended meaning for the original audience. Hermeneutics tries to answer the question, "What do the texts mean to us today?" The big issue among Christians committed to accepting Scripture as God’s authoritative Word has to do with the problems of cultural relativity. In other words, what is cultural and therefore belongs to the first century alone? And what transcends culture and is thus a Word for all time?


Scripturally, issues of dogma (e.g. Salvation, Trinity, Virgin Birth) are far easier to agree on with good hermeneutics than issues of doctrine due to the cultural relativity factor. The latter include issues like:
  • pre-destination vs. free-will
  • charismatic gifts
  • women’s roles and ministries
  • methods of baptism
  • Biblical inspiration and inerrancy
  • divorce and remarriage
  • end times events
  • forms of church government
  • sacraments or ordinances
Matters of opinion are judged by most denominations to be open to private interpretation. These include various Bible translations; beliefs about angels and demons; pre-tribulational rapture; and drums in church. In our Christian walk then, we should aim for greater hermeneutical precision and consistency; greater obedience to what we do hear and understand; and openness and charity toward others when they differ from us.


Liberal & Conservative Theologies

One fairly simple (and simplistic) way of beginning to grasp a major difference between liberal and conservative denominations is to recognize two tendencies in handling the indexing of beliefs. In general, more liberal theologians and denominations tend to empty the dogma and doctrine categories and leave more and more to the private judgment of individuals. By contrast, ultraconservative or fundamentalist theologians and denominations follow the opposite tendency. They empty the opinion and doctrine categories of most beliefs others would place there, and fill up the dogma category.





Our Richly Variegated Bible

Although deep thinking Christians sometimes wish that the Bible was a treatise on theology, instead, it is a beautifully rich and variegated book. Contrary to what we sometimes assume, the Bible does not contain long expositions on doctrine or any detailed summary of the belief system of God’s people. Instead we find in its pages historical narratives, poetry, proverbial sayings, prophetic oracles, and instructions to specific groups of believers.


Good Theology Must Touch the Heart

Theology is not so much a science, in the modern sense of the term, as an art. We must retain the scientist’s bent toward concerted, hard-headed, even critical intellectual engagement. However, as theologians we are also artists. Our goal goes beyond amassing knowledge. Like any great work of art, our theology must move beyond our head to touch our heart.

For this information, I am indebted to Who Needs Theology: An Invitation to the Study of God by Grenz and Olsen (1996); How to Read the Bible For All Its Worth by Fee & Stuart (2003); and A Handbook of the Christian Faith by Schwartz (2004).

Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. (Acts 17:11 NIV)



Photos: michael_reuter, Beauty of Africa, paparutzi (Flickr)



Related: Join the good folk at the Christian Carnival ii for more "thinkful" posts like this.

Up Next—Learn the Bible in 24 Hours

What bothers you the most about differences between denominations?




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Friday, January 28, 2011

Stylish Blogger Award

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Passing On the Compliment

My warm thanks go to April of The Twentieth Century Housewife and Dawn at Guiding Light Homeschool for nominating my blogs, Susannah’s {Kitchen} and Chrysalis for this award. Both of these Christian Moms are leaders and go-getters in their respective "blogahoods." I appreciate your support very much!

Here’s the Graphic


Here are the Rules

First, thank and link back to the person who gave you this award
• Second, share 7 things about yourself
• Third, award 15 recently discovered great bloggers
• Then, contact these bloggers and tell them they’ve won this award

7 Random Things

1. I was born again in high school at a Young Life Youth Camp in Canada.
2. LOL, like Dawn, I dislike wet socks.
3. My husband is my best friend, evah! We can talk for hours.
4. Like April, one of my secret pleasures is designer handbags. Unlike April, mine hide out in a box under our bed most of the time.
5. Now that our children are raised, I’m learning how to cook—for two.
6. My husband (and our son) follow politics very closely. Me? Well, I guess I do too.
7. After Bible study, books, and blogging, my first love is art, architecture, photography and design.

15 Honorees

I am going to mention some from visitors to Susannah’s {Kitchen} and some from the hospitality-lovers regulars at Chrysalis. Thank you all for your wonderful comments; I appreciate our developing friendships! You are completely deserving of this Stylish Blogger Award.

By the way, there is no obligation to participate if your time is tight or your blog is award-free. However, please do feel complimented!

1. Lisa at Sweet as Sugar Cookies
2. Miz Helen at Miz Helen’s Country Cottage
3. Kim at Quit Eating Out
4. Amy at uTry.it
5. Sherry at Lamp Unto My Feet
6. Shelley at Stones of Remembrance
7. Janette Wright at Janette’s Sage
8. Nice A at Nice Thoughts & Thrills
9. Gemini at The Road We Traveled
10. Faith at Gold in the Clouds
11. Bobbi at Blogging Along
12. Christie at Crickl’s Nest
13. Constance at Slim Pickin's From My Brain
14. Sandra at Heart for Him
15. Susan at Forever His

Photo: martin0023 (GoogleImages)



Thank you for your support!

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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

In the Spotlight: Anne Graham Lotz

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In My Mind I’m Going to Carolina ...

Some of you know that e-Dad and I flew back east to visit our married daughter over Christmas. We landed in Philly, feasted on cheese steak sandwiches at Pat's & Gino’s, and then drove up to New York City for two days. Before skirting the construction site at Ground Zero, we took a brisk walk from Central Park down 5th Avenue to watch the skaters at Rockefeller Center.
My oh my, it was a lot colder than I’m used to here in the temperate Pacific Northwest!

After our delightful Christmas with the family in Washington D.C, our plan was to drive back up to the airport in Philadelphia on Boxing Day (Dec. 26th) to fly home. All good, except a brutal northeast blizzard had dumped twelve inches of fresh snow on the runway overnight. Thousands of flights were cancelled—including ours.

Aghast, we were determined not to be stranded like millions of other travelers in every airport from Boston to Washington. Our quick-thinking son went online, negotiated a full ticket refund, and booked alternate seats on a plane departing from Atlanta. We snagged a rental car for the one-way trip, turned on the headlights, and pulled out of the Phildelphia airport parking lot like three men on a mission. It took us all night to drive the 800 miles on a dark, snowy, deserted freeway in order to make it to Georgia in time for our flight.

Please Meet Anne Graham Lotz

While the others were sleeping, my turn at the wheel took us through
Billy Graham
territory in Charlotte, North Carolina.
As I chased away my exhaustion with a fast-food espresso, my thoughts drifted to the famous evangelist’s rustic family home in Montreat. For a moment, I mourned his late wife Ruth Bell Graham. I was also reminded of Billy’s daughter Anne, founder of AnGeL ministries, a non-profit corporation dedicated to biblical exposition through speaking engagements, books and tapes. In 2000, Anne Graham Lotz also launched free Just Give Me Jesus conferences to spark revival among women in the church.

Anne is just a few years older than me, and her credentials are very impressive. Even without a college or seminary education, she's been granted honorary doctorates from Kings College, Houghton College, and Eastern Baptist Theological Seminary—plus three other institutions. She currently serves on the board of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary. With characteristic grace and humility, Anne credits God for all her successes.

Anne's Ministry Began with BSF

Anne married dentist Dr. Dan Lotz at age 18, and the couple have three grown children. Anne began her teaching ministry as a nervous young Mom in a Bible Study Fellowship (BSF International) class in Raleigh, N.C. Now an accomplished speaker, over the past thirty years, Anne has passionately proclaimed God’s Word to people around the world. Her gripping narratives and heart-touching teaching have inspired listeners in arenas and prison cells, stadiums and Bible studies, sanctuaries and seminaries, and in the General Assembly of the United Nations.

Also a best-selling author, Anne’s eleven books include her signature book Just Give Me Jesus and her 2009 release The Magnificent Obsession. In the latter, she writes about feeling alienated at times from “religious people” and how she pursued her own calling as a female evangelist despite the initial disapproval of her famous parents. She also talks about how she strives to model her relationship with God after Abraham of the OT. Anne has won three Gold Medallion Awards for her writing.

“Just Give Me Jesus” Revivals

A fan of her Bible studies, I know that Anne’s faith is deep and infectious. Listen as she humbly describes a particularly difficult time in her life.


“In the late ‘90s a series of events in my life left me crying out desperately to God. In 1996, when Hurricane Fran hit North Carolina, we were without electricity and telephone service for six weeks. Our yard was demolished—we lost 102 trees. Then my husband’s dental office suffered an electrical fire and burned to the ground. Our three children got married within eight months—and with two girls, that meant major planning for two weddings! Then, in 1998, our son, Jonathan, was diagnosed with cancer a month before his wedding and he underwent surgery. My mother, Ruth, also had five major surgeries within ten months. I’d make the four-hour drive to visit her, spend the night in the hospital, come home, turn around, and go back again. On top of that, I had a full schedule of speaking and writing books.

I was tempted to pull back within myself and tell the world to get lost. But I chose to stay active in my ministry. My heart cried out, Just Give Me Jesus, because I felt that if I had a fresh encounter with him, my questions about what was going on either could wait—or he would be the answer. I opened my Bible and prayed, God, I need a supernatural touch from you.”—Quoted from "Woman of the Word" published by TCW


If there’s anything about Anne Graham Lotz that resonates, you can discover more about her life in this marvelous CT article, A Reverent Maverick. Please enjoy!

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
(Phil 4:13 NIV)

Top Photo: Sojourn Church, Billy Graham Library in Charlotte N.C. by MichelleParker52 (Flickr)



Up Next—Stylish Blogger Award

Have you heard Anne Graham Lotz speak? Your thoughts?



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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Bible Study: What is Charismatic Renewal?

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"Grace is power as well as pardon."—Gabriel Fackre

"I am one of those Baptist General Conference people who believes that 'signs and wonders' and all the spiritual gifts of 1 Corinthians 12:8-10 are valid for today and should be 'earnestly desired' (1 Corinthians 14:1) for the edification of the church and the spread of the gospel."
Dr. John Piper


Understanding the Nine Gifts of the Spirit

Many Christians experience supernatural manifestations of the Spirit on a regular basis. But many do not. They find that they are confused about what the gifts are, and how they operate.
I found the following information to be very helpful. Maybe you will too.

The excerpts below are quoted from the booklet, Flowing in Spiritual Gifts (#704) by Don & Katie Fortune and the pamphlet, Receive All God Has to Give (#810A) by Katie Fortune. If you’re interested in some excellent biblical teaching on this topic, you can purchase both publications from
Heart to Heart International Ministries.


You Have A Unique Gift From God

Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues.
(1 Cor 12:7-10 NIV)


The gifts of the Holy Spirit are manifestations of the Person of the Holy Spirit… the Comforter… the One Jesus said He’d sent to us to be in us to lead us and guide us… We should expect the gifts to operate through us in response to the needs of:

1. the person or persons to whom we are ministering
2.
the person or persons we are counseling
3. the group of which we are a part—the gathering of

a. the church
b. the home fellowship
c. the Bible study group
d. an informal group
e. an inter-church group
f. the interdenominational group
g. even a secular gathering

4. Anyone, anywhere, anytime!

We have the right to choose not to allow these gifts of the Holy Spirit to operate through us. But we have the privilege of being a channel of His gifts and blessings… on “stand-by” at all times! We get the benefit of the joy of being that channel.

Because we are part and not the whole of the Body of Christ, we may not be the one the Holy Spirit chooses to use to manifest a gift in a given situation. He may use some other member of the Body. Or, He may use us to confirm what another says or does.
But we need to be available at all times. Someone has aptly said, “It is not so much our ability but our availability that really counts.”

I. What is the purpose of these gifts?

A. Demonstration of power (Luke 24:49; Acts 1:8; I Cor 2:4)
B. Signs and wonders (Mark 16:17, 18,20 Acts 2: 43, 5:12)
C. That people might believe (John 2:11, I Cor 14:22)
D. To establish believers (Rom 1:11, 12)
E. To edify Christians (many references; I Cor 12 to 14)
F. For spiritual good and profit (I Cor 12:17)
G. For instruction and encouragement (I Cor 14:31)
H. To enable bold ministry (Acts 4:29-31)
I. To bring healing and deliverance (Luke 9:1, 10:9, 19;
Acts 5:16, 8:6-7)

II. How should the gifts of the Holy Spirit be manifested?

A. In obedience to the Spirit’s leading (I Cor 12:7, 11)
B. In love (I Cor 13:1-3)
C. In humility (I Cor 13:4-5)

III. Who may manifest the gifts?

A. Every believer (I Cor 12: 7, 26)
B. No one is to lack in any gift (I Cor 1:7)

IV. Instructions regarding the gifts:

A. Do not be ignorant concerning them (I Cor 12:1)
B. Earnestly desire them (ICor 12:31, 14:1, 39)
C. Do not neglect them (I Tim 4:14)
D. Stir them up (II Tim 1:6)
E. Seek to excel in them (I Cor 14:12)


The Manifestation Gifts Comprise Three Groups

A. The vocal gifts
1. Tongues (I Cor 12:10; 14:2, 4, 22, 26, 27)
2. Interpretation of tongues
(I Cor 12:10, 14:5, 13)
3. Prophesy (I Cor 12: 10; 14:3-6, 22, 24, 29, 39)

B. The revelation gifts
1. Word of knowledge
(I Cor 12:8)
2. Word of wisdom
(I Cor 12:8)
3. Discerning of spirits
(I Cor 12:10)

C. The power gifts
1. Wonder-working faith (I Cor 12:9)
2. Gifts of healings (I Cor 12:9)
3. Working of miracles (I Cor 12:10)


Descriptions of the Gifts

1. Speaking in Tongues
This is the public manifestation of tongues, a message from God given a spiritual language.

2. Interpretation of Tongues
The interpretation (not translation) of a message in tongues

3. Prophesy
A message from God given in the language of the hearers. It will edify, exhort or comfort.

4. Word of Knowledge
Supernatural knowing of facts revealed to the Christian, which he could not otherwise know.

5. Word of Wisdom
The divine application of supernatural knowledge. It gives the Christian wisdom for speaking, deciding and acting.

6. Discerning of Spirits
The supernatural insight into the realm of spirits to know what kind of spirit (God’s, man’s, or Satan’s) is motivating a given manifestation.

7. Wonder-working Faith
A special gift of faith given by God for a special time.

8. Gifts of Healings
The supernatural healing of diseases or infirmities without the aid of natural means or human skills.

9. Working of Miracles
The supernatural power of God intervening in the ordinary course of nature.

We have received the Giver of every good and perfect gift [Jesus Christ] and therefore the gifts of the Holy Spirit will operate through the life of every willing believer. Some gifts operate in conjunction with other gifts, and all operate for the benefit of the Body of Christ. All gifts should be operated in love as expressed in I Corinthians 13.




Related

Baptism of the Holy Spirit: Receive All God Has to Give
Preparing For Pentecost: Beyond Babel

Photo Credits: simonds, betakarel (2 & 3) (Flickr)



Up Next—Anne Graham Lotz in the Spotlight

Have you identified your supernatural spiritual gift?




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Thursday, January 20, 2011

Parable of the Four Soils

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Jesus began to teach by the lake.



The crowd that gathered around him was so large that he got into a boat and sat in it out on the lake, while all the people were along the shore at the water’s edge.



He taught them many things by parables, and in his teaching said: “Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed.



As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up.



Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow.



But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.



Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain.



Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times.”



Then Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” (Mark 4:1-9 NIV)

For Jesus' explanation of this parable, click here.



Photos: GennaG, TheFlyingPie, DeanForbes, Mike_tn, bthomso, RobnRae,wanderingnome,DRB62& kayakaya, (Flickr)

Related: This post is linked at Michelle's blog, Lost in the Prairies... Found by God. Join us for her Caffeinated Randomness weekly blog hop on Fridays.



Coming Soon—Spiritual Growth: What is Charismatic Renewal? (Part 1)

Are you cultivating "good soil?"



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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Book Review: God Speaks Your Love Language

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How to Feel and Reflect God’s Love

If you’ve been blogging for any length of time, you’ve probably noticed several kinds of weblogs around the Christian blogosphere, such as:

1.
Devotional encouragement that springs out of stories from real life.
(Prayers and worship music are often included.)

2. Thoughtful in-depth discussion and debate on a variety of topics such as education, Bible study, or books. Posts tend to be longer.

3. Product review blogs about anything from diapers to donuts, including discount coupons, specials, and regular Giveaways.

4. “How to” practical tips and printables on creative topics including closet organization, decorating, crafts, or knitting.

5. Family journals with lots of kid photos, family health updates, recipes, fitness tips, and active vacations.

Just as we resonate with special girlfriends in real life, it doesn’t take long to guess at the personality traits of a particular blogger. Recently,
I discovered that Dr. Gary Chapman’s message in the New York Times bestseller on marriage, The Five Love Languages can also be neatly applied to the Mommy blogosphere too!


Five Kinds of Bloggers

Reflecting on points 1 though 5 above, there seem to be five kinds of bloggers. There are those who thrive on:

1. Words of Affirmation [Feeling]
2. Quality Time [Thinking]
3. Receiving Gifts [Symbolic]
4. Acts of Service [Sensing-Logic]
5. Physical Touch [Body]

Secular psychologists have categorized the brain into four basic areas; feeling, thinking, intuiting (symbolic) and sensing. 1 and 4 are auditory modalities, 2 and 3 are visual, and 5 is kinesthetic. Apparently, God knew what he was doing when he designed the human brain and body!

God gives all of us a dominant love language in one of these five categories. Therefore, it makes sense that He would also give us the capacity to enjoy and receive from Him in the same language we favor in our human relationships.

And that’s exactly what Dr. Gary Chapman reveals in his book, God Speaks Your Love Language (2009, Northfield Publishing.) God’s love for us is evident in a myriad of ways, but when we face a spiritual dry spell, it helps to search for God’s expression of love in the form we understand best.

Listen to Chapman’s explanation in this short Facebook video.



My Reaction

This was the first of Dr. Chapman’s (many) non-fiction books that I’ve read from cover to cover. Last fall, I thoroughly enjoyed studying his concept of Five Love Languages, especially in relation to God. It’s been interesting to meditate on this information in light of other research about gifts and callings. For example, I’ve studied biblical motivational gifts in depth, and I’ve also studied secular learning style theory.

Putting it all together, my strongest of the Five Love Languages seem to be “quality time” and “receiving gifts.” As a biblical Administrator
(
Rom 12:6-8) I love in-depth Bible study and feel the Spirit most active in my life when I’m teaching spiritual truth—which is usually in a rather long-winded way!

According to the same passage, my secondary motivational gift is “Giver” or “Contributor.” I love to tithe and give offerings when specifically prompted by the Spirit. I also to enjoy being on the receiving end of meaningful tokens of love. Similarly, when my physical needs are well-cared for, then I feel well-loved by God. There’s certainly a lot of truth in Dr. Chapman’s message.


What About Gender?

I must add tangentally, that I disagree with Dr. Chapman’s position on gender. His answer to the question, “Are some of the love languages found more among women and others with men?” didn’t satisfy my own conviction that men and women display unique psychological gender needs, especially in marriage. Chapman says,


“I have never done the research to discover if the love languages are gender-slanted. It may be true that more men have Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation as their love language and more women have Quality Time and Gifts. But I don’t know if that is true.

I prefer to deal with the love languages as being gender-neutral. I do know that any one of these love languages can be the primary love language of a man or the primary love language of a woman. The important thing in marriage is that you discover the primary and secondary love languages of your spouse and you speak these regularly. If you do this, you will create a healthy emotional climate for marital growth.”


Other Christian marriage counselors like Dr. Tim Clinton espouse a similar message. However, I tend to agree with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
(Love & Respect) and Dr.Willard Harley (His Needs Her Needs) who teach that husbands and wives have unique gender-specific needs in marriage.

Overall, God Speaks Your Love Language was a thought-provoking and valuable read. I’d love to hear your thoughts on any of the points mentioned above. Please do speak up!

This post will be linked to Jennifer's carnival at Five Minutes for Books next Tues. January 25, 2011. "What's on Your Nightstand" is every FOURTH Tuesday of the month.




Up Next—Arts: Parable of the Soils

Have you read any of Dr. Chapman's books? Your thoughts?



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Sunday, January 16, 2011

Three Miracle Parenting Tools

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How to Get Your Kids to Do Just About Anything!

1. Create a Checklist

Check, check, check. Checklists. Most busy Moms wouldn’t survive without them! Checklists lay out our game plan, and reward us with the satisfaction of marking off each task as it's completed. Most often, I need a tangible return too—like a chocolate Rolo, an extra-foamy green tea latte,
or a new book.

Early in our marriage, my husband was in computer software sales. Every month, he had a hefty sales quota to meet. In addition to commissions, his company provided travel incentives to motivate and reward the highest achievers.

One year, e-Dad competed hard to achieve the top sales position in his office. And he won! He brought home a brand new set of luggage, and tickets for an all-expenses paid trip for two to Cancun, Mexico. Sweet!


2. Reward Good Behavior Immediately

All children are wired for achievement too. They will perform very well when the rewards are meaningful and immediate. Some parents have no problem giving their children an allowance. For every task completed, a penny can go into their piggy bank to teach savings strategies.

However, money isn’t the only way to acknowledge your child’s efforts. Small treats like candy or cookies will work too, but they might seem like an unhealthy "bribe." With a little creative thinking, you can devise something that suits your family's values best.

Whatever reward system you use, laying out clear steps toward achieving the goal is essential. Giving age appropriate rewards as soon as the task is completed will take you a long way toward establishing regular habits like teeth brushing, picking up clothes, and displaying table manners.


3. Minimize Rewards to Eliminate Obnoxious Behaviors

Eliminating obnoxious behaviors like whining, sloppiness, and laziness can be accomplished by minimizing your rewards. For instance, if an infant is immediately picked up or rocked each time he cries, he may quickly observe the relationship between tears and your attention.

Psychologist Dr. James Dobson describes an alternative, “I have stood at the doorway of my daughter’s nursery for four or five minutes, awaiting a momentary lull in her crying before going to her crib. By so doing, I reinforce the pauses rather than the emotional intensity… Obviously, a parent must exercise self-discipline and patience to ensure that the reinforcement which takes place is positive, not negative in results.”


Sample Checklist

Focus on the Family has published a sample checklist of chores that can be accomplished by any child using this method.
You can alter this list to suit the age of your kids and the skills you want them to learn. This is list quoted from their booklet, The Miracle Parenting Tools.

1. I brushed my teeth without being told
2. I straightened my room before bedtime
3. I picked up my clothes without being told
4. I fed the fish without being told
5. I emptied the trash without being told
6. I minded Mommy today
7. I minded Daddy today
8. I said my prayers tonight
9. I was kind to little brother Billy today
10. I took my vitamin pill
11. I said “thank you” and “please” today
12. I went to bed last night without complaining
13. I gave clean water to the dog today
14. I washed my hands and came to the table when called


Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person [believer] according to what they have done. (Rev 22:12 NIV)


Related

Susannah Wesley's 16 Rules
How to Create the Obedience Habit in Children
• For fellowship and inspiration, consider joining the weekly
Carnival of Homeschooling.

Photos: joshbousel1, madhava, K's glimpses (Flickr)





Up Next—Book Review: God Speaks Your Love Language
by Gary Chapman

What other tips have you used to motivate
your kids?




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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Top Five Jokes at Chrysalis, Evah

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Celebrating Five Years of Blogging!

Today is a good day to have a laugh, isn't it? Laughter is good for the soul (and the bones) and we all like to enjoy a few giggles over the weekend.

Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts Friday Fave Five every week and Kim hosts Friday Funnies at Homesteaders Heart. I'd like to honor both of these women today, and thank them for their fine contributions to our Christian bloggy community. Go say Hola!

The links below are da-best-of-da-best around here at Chrysalis. We talk about serious topics most of the time, and a little comic relief seems in order. These are the most commented jokes from the archives; one from each of the years I've been hanging out with you in bloggyville. (For you number lovers, that's 793 posts.)

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Please help yourself to some topsy turvey cake (above) and join me at the Chrysalis Cafe in Facebook for a cup of cyber-coffee. Click LIKE if you want to stick around!



1. 2006 | Humor for Christian Parents




2. 2007 | Announcing EuroEnglish




3. 2008 | Mother's Day Humor: A Man's Wish




4. 2009 | The Difference Between M & F




5. 2010 | Cooking Breakfast


Photos: pinkcakebox.com, Djuliet, vial3tt3r3, TGChen, ThiagoMartin, Candylikeabar (Flickr)



Up Next—Family Life: Three Miracle Parenting Tools

POLL: And your favorite joke is number ____?



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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Bible Names & Why They Matter

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T or F? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Don’t you love it when someone remembers your first name? Why is that? Why does hearing our name spoken out loud matter so much?

That’s because proper names are very significant.

Baby Names

Parents seem to know this intuitively. When choosing your baby’s name, you probably searched around for some kind of resource to look up the meaning. We took great care when naming our kids too. From a baby name book, we chose a name for our daughter that means “sweet speech, sweet as honey.” It’s lovely to know that a positive message is spoken aloud every time someone calls out her name.

God’s Names

Scripture attaches great importance to the compound names of God, because his names reveal his character. For example, Jehovah Jireh means “the Lord who provides” and Jehovah Rapha signifies “the Lord who heals.” Most of us know and love the beautiful Wonderful-Counselor-Prince-of-Peace verse in Isaiah 9:6.

Jesus’ Names

Discovering the specific meaning of “Jesus” requires some dictionary digging. Jesus is the English spelling of the Greek Iesous, from the Hebrew Yeshua (English: Joshua) which means “the Lord is salvation” or simply “savior.” Christ—a title—is from the Greek word Christos from the Hebrew Mashiah (English: Messiah). It means “anointed” or “consecrated” and set apart for service.

In the OT, prophets, priests, and kings were all anointed by the Spirit, but The Christ is typically regarded as manifesting the perfect union of all three offices. Note the parallels between Moses’ right hand man, Joshua who was chosen to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. Similarly, Yeshua—who sits at God’s right hand—will come again to lead Christian believers into eternal life.

Old Testament Names

Adam named all the animals in the Garden. After the Fall, he gave his wife Eve “life” her name. Shem, brother of Ham and Japheth was among Noah’s three sons who survived the flood. Shem literally translates to mean “name.”

From Shem we get Semites, the larger ethnic people group from which the Israelites descended.
The famous Shema “Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God; the Lord is One” is frequently recited by the Jews. In a land surrounded by idolatrous heathens with multiple gods, this familiar prayer reminded the Israelites to worship the One True God.

The words shema, shemen (fat, oil) and semen are all related. They connote “seed” or life. It’s easy to see that the biblical concept of names, seeds, words, and life are all inter-related.

“It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life” (Jn 6:63) and “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God” (Rom 10:17) are important NT passages in regard to Christian salvation. We must hear and believe the Bible in order to receive the gift of the Spirit and immortality. Have you heard the good news of salvation through Jesus Christ? And do you believe?

Names' Hidden Meanings Tell a Story

Maybe you’ve seen the remarkable story that's created when the oldest names in the Bible mentioned in Genesis 5 are strung together. In his book Hidden Treasures, author Chuck Missler says, “In our Bible we read the ten Hebrew names: Adam, Seth, Enosh, Kenan, Mahalalel, Jared, Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech and Noah. Since they are proper names, they are not translated but only transliterated to approximate the way they were pronounced. But what do these names signify in English?” Here's his answer:

Hebrew-English

Adam-Man

Seth-Appointed

Enosh-Mortal

Kenan-Sorrow

Mahalalel-The Blessed God

Jared-Shall come down

Enoch-Teaching

Methuselah-His death shall bring

Lamech-The despairing

Noah-Rest, or comfort

“Man (is) appointed mortal sorrow; (but) the Blessed God shall come down teaching (that) His death shall bring (the) despairing rest.”

Amazing, yes? You can read more about God's plan for redemption hidden within Genesis 5 in Chuck Missler's online article, "The Gospel in Genesis."

Related


For fellowship and inspiration, consider joining the weekly Carnival of Homeschooling. Also, every Wednesday join the sweet ladies linked up at Seeds of Faith for iFellowship and Good Morning Girls for Women of the Word Wednesdays.

Photos: FrStephenMSC (1 & 2) Philocrites (3) (Flickr)




Up Next—Top Five Jokes at Chrysalis Evah

Can you add to this discussion? What have you learned about Bible names?




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Monday, January 10, 2011

Behind the Scenes with Julie & Tim Clinton, Ed.D.

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Interview with Marriage Pro Reveals Rough Beginnings

Today is Monday, with the chance to share a special quote and to link up at Barbara’s blog for The Week in Words. I’d like to share a short excerpt from an article I printed out and saved a few years ago.

The article is a candid interview by Shine Magazine with Tim Clinton, Ed.D. and his engaging wife, Julie. Dr. Clinton is currently President of the 50,000-member American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), the largest and most diverse Christian counseling association in the world. He is also Professor of Counseling and Pastoral Care, and Executive Director of the Center for Counseling and Family Studies at Liberty University.

She Needs Love, He Needs Respect

Married for thirty years, with two children Megan and Zach, the Clintons are honest about the difficulties they faced during the early years of their marriage. Married very young—at 18 and 20—they nearly called it quits after their third year. With the help of their Godly parents, they held it together. Let’s pick up the conversation as Tim and Julie begin to share their differing needs in marriage.

"Shine:.. OK, Dr. Romance, how have you keep the romance alive… the sex thing aside? (All of us laughing again.) OK, maybe not…

Julie: (Answering quickly as she looks over and smiles at Tim.) I think we just focus on doing things for one another and doing the special little things we know the other person likes. It’s spending time alone together. It may just be a date every couple of weeks. It really is about friendship.

Tim: You know what I think. I think there is just a lot involved. I know Julie honors what I do, and she doesn’t have to tell me, she demonstrates it through so many different things. It’s picking up and shouldering the load when I’m not home.

I think it helps when you learn each other’s love language—the way your mate understand and receives love.
There are so many ways to give and receive love. If you can connect meaningfully during the good times, then when you come to the bumpy times, you can more easily forgive…

Shine: Give us an easy exercise to do with our spouse.

Tim: Write down these three questions:

1.
How does my spouse love me?
2. How do I show love to her?
3. How do I want to loved?

Have your spouse do the same thing and compare notes.

Usually, if you and your mate are not connecting, you won’t match on your answers either. So neither of you feels loved.
Her heart cry is, ‘All I have ever wanted from my husband is for him to love me.’ He says, ‘I don’t know how to please my wife. It is impossible.’

That is why it is important to know this: [FEELING] LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH! Love has to be communicated in a way that your spouse understands…

Shine:
It has to be what is important to them, not what is important to you, right?

Tim: That’s right. Most couples don’t take the time to learn that. The man says, ‘Hey, I am doing my duty. I am bringing home a paycheck!’ And he thinks that is enough for her to know he loves her.”

Reflection

I have shared this quote with you to show that even professional marriage counselors have a steep learning curve to climb to learn the skills of love! The most telling statements are highlighted in bold. Notice how Julie focuses on the friendship/romance aspect of marriage and doing “the little things.” On the other hand, Tim talks about how he needs Julie to show him honor, and to help him with his work.

These radically opposing needs create stress in every marriage until both spouses learn how to give love selflessly.
Like Tim and Julie, most husbands will need to learn how to unconditionally love their wives, whereas most wives will need to learn how to unconditionally respect their husbands. Long married couples who have learned these skills are a wonder to behold! ( See Eph 5:21-33)

For Further Reading

In their book, The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted, Tim and Julie help distressed individuals and couples chart a course to assess and reframe their marital journey, reclaim love, and release each other from the grip of relational pain.

In Before a Bad Goodbye: How to Turn Your Marriage Around, Dr. Tim Clinton helps couples who are confused and searching for new life in their marriages as well as untangle the negative patterns of disaffection.

Other titles on psychological attachment issues by Dr. Clinton include and Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do and his latest book, The God Attachment.

I have purchased Attachments for my personal library, and I highly recommend Dr. Clinton and his books.

Top Photo: TimClinton.com (Flickr)



Up Next—Bible Names & Why They Matter

Where are you and your spouse on the journey toward expressing love and respect?




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Thursday, January 6, 2011

VIDEO: The Beauty of Mathmatics

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Fact or Foolishness?

Apparently, you love to think about the deeper things of life, dear reader! Your comments on Should a Christian Woman Think lead me to believe you would also enjoy this very cool "weekend wideo." (3:02 mins)

Faith, Tami, GlowinGirl, A Stone Gatherer, Sandra, Alicia, Bobbi, Constance, April, Bobbi, Shelley, Janette and Ann Onymous... Take a few minutes to watch and ponder! Then, tell me what you think.

Via Julie Ferwerda's personal weblog (author of One Million Arrows)

Photo: MountainBread (Flickr)



Up Next—Behind the Scenes with Christian Counselors Tim & Julie Clinton

Fact or foolishness? You do the math!
Do the numbers add up?
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