How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know
Secret #5: Children
Q. What specific steps can I take to ensure that my children make a personal decision to follow Jesus Christ?
“‘This episode was the hardest, ever, for me to watch,’ one Entertainment Weekly reader lamented. ‘After the show was over, I broke down and cried. It was extremely hard (beyond words to describe) to even hear Jon and Kate [Gosselin] say they are splitting up. When you grow attached to a family, it is very hard to watch it all fall apart… I am mostly concerned about what is going to happen to the children.’”—Family Life’s Culture Watch
“ohhhhhhhhh e-mom
the gosselin story is so sad, so tragic and so utterly preventable.
it breaks my heart.
the children
the children
the children
what about the children.”—Roo at it's true, i'm roo
A. Research by author Elizabeth Marquart has shown that "children of divorce are less religious than their peers from intact families (Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce) ... Children of divorce are more likely to agree that the suffering they witness in the world and in their own lives makes them doubt the existence of a loving God. They are more likely to feel that no one really understands them and more of them feel that the hardships in their life come from God."—Between Two Worlds Website
Therefore, the most important thing you can do to raise a family of believers is to stay married to your spouse. Amen? (See Mal 2:15)
In addition, following are five key areas to focus on ...
Desiring Godly Offspring:
Five Steps that Begin with You
T. Turn from Unbelief: Awaken to Your Heavenly Father’s Love
“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore CHOOSE LIFE, that you and your offspring may live…” (Deut 30:19 ESV)
U. Union: Receive Salvation
“And he said to the woman, ‘YOUR FAITH HAS SAVED YOU; go in peace.’”
(Lk 7:50 ESV)
“The Father longs for the return of his sons and daughters… Spirit may draw, but people must consent. The Spirit helps us, but we are also coworkers with God (2 Cor 6:1; Phil 1:9). We work out our salvation, while God is at work in us (Phil 2: 12-13). In conversion there is an interplay of grace and assent. Heaven rejoices when someone turns to God, because it is never a foregone conclusion. Conversion is not predestined but arises from free response. Therefore the angels delight when sinners respond to grace. The father did not stop the prodigal [son] from leaving home and did not compel him to return. In his leaving and his returning his liberty was respected.”—Pinnock, Flame of Love: The Theology of the Holy Spirit
L. Let Your Bible Training Begin Early
“This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, WHO DESIRES ALL PEOPLE TO BE SAVED and to come to the knowledge of the truth.”
(1 Tim 2:3-4 ESV)
“When you construct a plan for introducing your children to Jesus, you may want to make your motto ‘the earlier the better.’ In a recent nationwide poll, researcher George Barna learned that children ages five through thirteen have a 32 percent probability of accepting Christ as their Savior. That rate drops dramatically, to just 4 percent, for kids ages fourteen through eighteen. And those who have not become Christians before age nineteen have only a 6 percent probability of doing so during the rest of their lives!
Spiritual training of children should begin at their earliest moments of awareness and continue through the teen years. The most important year, however, may be age five. That is when they are open and tender to the call of Christ. Some kids come to a fork in the road at this point. Either they begin to internalize what they are taught and make it their own, or Bible stories and lessons become like fables that don't apply to the real world. Your careful instruction during this period can lay the faith foundation that will guide your children throughout their earthly lives — and lead them into a joyous eternity.—Dr. James Dobson, October 2002 Newsletter, “Young Families Grab Our Attention!”
I. Instruct Your Children to Submit to Christ’s Sovereignty
“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and YOU WOULD NOT!” (Matt 23:37)
Engage in Everyday Conversations about Faith
● Talk with your child when he or she is young. “Even at three years of age,” Dr. Dobson says, “a child is capable of learning that the flowers, the sky, the birds, and even the rainbow are gifts from God’s hand.”
● Teach your child to memorize verses of Scripture. “The first Scripture our children should learn is ‘God is love’ (1 John 4:8).”
● Show your child how to pray to God. In the early years, keep it simple. “They should be taught to thank Him before eating their food and to ask for His help when they are hurt or scared.”
● Talk about spiritual matters throughout the day. “Scripture tells us … to give the greatest emphasis to the spiritual development of our children. Nothing even comes close to it in significance.”
● Maintain an eternal perspective. “The only way you can be with your precious children in the next life is to introduce them to Jesus Christ and His teachings, hopefully when they are young and impressionable. This is Task Number One in child-rearing.”
● Show how faith relates to life. “Not only is spiritual development of relevance to eternity, it is also critical to the way your children will live out their days on this earth. Specifically, [children] need to be well established in their faith in order to understand the meaning of good and evil.”
This excerpt is quoted from “Our Ultimate Priority as Parents” by Dr. James Dobson.
P. Perseverance in Faith
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I HAVE KEPT THE FAITH.”(2 Tim 4:7 ESV)
Protecting Our Children from Spiritual Drifting
“From Genesis to Revelation we find that the biggest temptation is for believers to experientially ‘lose’ our faith. How? We stop doing what the Lord says. Why? We stop believing what God’s Word says.
Think about it. What happened to mighty Judge Samson? What happened to powerful King Saul? What happened to wise King Solomon? They all fell away. What about these good kings—Asa, Joash, Amaziah, Uzziah and Hezekiah? They followed God for a number of years, then each one turned away…
What is the single greatest warning in the Gospels and Acts? In the New Testament letters from Romans to Jude? Even in the book of Revelation? Keep following the Lord—endure to the end—don’t shipwreck your faith—don’t fall away.”
—Dr. John G. Mitchell, “Faith that Goes the Distance”
This post is linked to Julie's blog hop, Marriage Mondays and the Carnival of Homeschooling.
Photos: FlickrMJM_0 & waltersrp (Flickr)
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1. Topic: Children. If you would like to link a post today, take a minute to read the introduction to our topic. What advice would you offer to a married couple with children? Do you have any special insights that you would like to pass on to others?
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21 Comments:
Great post! As my eldest moves closer to a firm decision I see more and more the value of teaching Scripture memorization early. She amazes me with what she remembers and how she is putting it all together.
Thanks for hosting us this week!
I think consistency is key in training our kids spiritually. They see right through us when we don't do as we say.
This was a great topic for today, e-Mom. Thinking about it made me realize how our kids have enhanced my marriage. They've been the biggest challenge, but also the biggest builder in our marriage.
Great meaty post!! I so agree with all of those steps. I agree with Tami too, our children have been the structure above our marriage's foundation that has given us a "home".
Good Morning! I am in NYC on vacation and am using my iPad which doesn't allow me to link back to you. I hope that is okay....
GREAT article! Raising children who love Jesus is all that matters.
Blessings,
Lori
Amen. I agree that parents staying married is so crucial for children. I know God can bring stability regardless, but it helps if we can stick with his original plan.
You give such good practical tips here! Thanks e-Mom.
Enjoyed your post - and thanks for doing Marriage Monday! Blessings!
Well said, Christine! Wish I would have said it like that!
This is probably the most important aspect of parenting, so I'm grateful for your research and helpful principles! It's helpful even to me--a mom who's a bit further along in the journey than most. Thanks so much!
Being vigilant is so important. Even with rebellious teens - it is important, even when they don't want to hear it. That is one way they see an enduring faith.
Wonderful post full of encouragement and truth. Thanks for the opportunity to receive and share together this vital topic in marriage. Blessings to you!
Therefore, the most important thing you can do to raise a family of believers is to stay married to your spouse. Amen? (See Mal 2:15)
Amen.. Amen... AMEN.
And Tami, Miriam and all the comments are excellent. So glad we have Marriage Monday. Sending a hug to everyone. Hope to get by to read all the great posts today or tomorrow. Hugs, Lynn
As a teacher at a Christian high school, I frequently hear the Barna study brought up as "proof" that my job is irrelevant... that by the time kids are freshmen and beyond, it's basically "too late." (I am not suggesting this is the spirit in which you're citing it, e-Mom!)
I was raised in a Christian home but chose to be baptized while in college. Prior to that time, I would have been caving in to peer pressure or trying to make my parents happy. For me, it was important to wait until baptism was about my relationship with God (not my codependency!)
Many of my students have plenty of "head knowledge" about God. But they are watching adults, expecting us to "show how faith relates to life," as you put it. This is a very practical, concrete generation: they want to see results before they'll "buy in."
They need to see us -- the adults in their lives -- submitting to Christ's sovereignty, and they need to see the difference this makes in us.
Via Facebook, Julie Titus Sanders said...:
That's it ... your comments just don't like me. :) But I do want to tell you that this is a great post with good ideas. I really like the acronym of reminders. My post today is about the power of touching our spouse, but that's related to ...children, because our kids can either be the result of our tender touches, or they can wiggle in between us. :) Touching each other often and tenderly is another way to have a loving marriage for our children. Happy Marriage Monday!
This was excellent..so much good stuff here...I may be referring back to some of it as I begin to start a new parenting group and book next month....we even have 2 new women joining us!! I know of one person who could really benefit fro mthe info here. thanks so much for hosting MM! Oh, and i agree with all of these steps....they are so vital!!
Stay married, that is our number one plan:) Thanks, good post.
Marriage Monday Sisters: Thank you for your links and comments. Each post was excellent--as usual. I appreciate your strong support! This community is truly a blessing to me, and to many others. Hugs, e-Mom
First off, let me thank you for how I have been greatly blessed with Marriage Monday especially the one about communication last time. I've read a number of MM posts that have been channels of blessings to me. So thanks to all participants here as well.
I say Amen to all your tips in this post. I introduced Jesus to my kids since they were babies, starting with songs, memory verses and illustrated Bible stories. Even my 2-year old boy now prays before he eats or goes to bed. He loves to sing "Read your Bible pray everyday", "Noah built a big, big ark," etc. With my 2 older kids' dedication to go to church and to have family worship regularly, my husband was encouraged by such faithfulness and he eventually allowed himself to be baptized as well.
I also agree that even if teenagers may go astray for awhile, they will go back to the faith they grew up with. I and my brother are living witnesses to that. We were both the black sheep in the family but our parents never gave up on us. "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he grows old he will not depart from it." Prov.22:6. So I bring up my own kids the way my parents brought me up and I also wish that my kids will do the same to their own kids later. (Sorry for this rather long comment.)
NiceA: It sounds like you're doing so many good things. There's no higher goal than raising our children to love and serve the Lord.
Thank you for sharing this: First off, let me thank you for how I have been greatly blessed with Marriage Monday especially the one about communication last time. I really appreciate your support!
Blessings, e-Mom ღ
I so need to get my act together and join one time..oh my, brain dead.
I am, however, going to visit the others.
Great topic...I also rest assured that God's timing is perfect and it is He that brings our children to salvation...we are obedient and leave the rest to him...it is not what we do that insures their salvation....thank God since we are all imperfect parents
This post is such a blessing! It is easy to grow weary in Bible training, and wanting to faint when the going gets tough. But to find the scripture that exhorts you to keep on is life giving. Thank you for writing this!
Perseverance in Faith--oh, this scares me when I read about the great and good kings who fell away in the end; but for the grace of God go I. I pray for myself and husband and children to persevere to the finish, to run the race well and hear those words--you have fought the good fight, you have finished the race, you have kept the faith.
~blessings to you, Jen @ www.diaryof1.com
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