Story of a Mail-Order Bride
“When I think of what we call the “woman’s touch,” I immediately see a man living alone in the old west who gets himself a mail-order bride. She takes one look at his disheveled cabin and gets out the broom and bucket and whips the place into shape. The next scene in the movie shows ruffled curtains blowing in the windows, fresh bread coming out of the oven, and a cleaned up cowboy sitting meekly at the table, eating his dinner with newly acquired, civilized manners ...
If the above mail-order bride had not been a powerful force for good, the house would still be a pigsty and the man would still smell to high heaven. But she had a backbone and a standard (and was cute to boot), and the man readily conformed so that he could share her bed and board. This is how it should be, and the men know it. In fact, the men like it that way. It makes life far more interesting and gives them purpose and a heritage, someone to defend and provide for.
On the other hand, if the women are willing to compromise, few men will argue about it. If she will climb into his bed (or someone else’s) without a marriage commitment, who’s to complain? He can have all the benefits of marriage with none of the responsibilities. This has a far-reaching effect on our culture: men become more immature, irresponsible, reckless, and selfish; the women try to take up the slack but become restless, competitive, insecure, and discontent.
Imagine for a moment what would happen if women across our country suddenly said something like, ‘You must be crazy if you think I will sleep with you without a wedding.’ Not only would there be a diamond shortage, we would have far fewer miserable, misplaced women with big paychecks and nothing to go home to.”
Quote is an excerpt from the article, "The Woman's Touch" by Nancy Wilson. Published by Credenda Agenda.
Got quotes? Please join Barbara at Stray Thoughts for her "thinkful" Monday meme, The Week in Words.
A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. (Prov 31: 10-14 MSG)
Photos: FotoIervolino & (Flickr)
Care to share your reflections?
15 Comments:
AMEN!!!! The old adage "why buy the cow, if you can get the milk free" comes to mind. Women have so short changed themselves, and so have men! A true marriage is one of the greatest gifts, and to give yourself before that shatters so much.
So very true . . . and more and more this mentality is in the church and it's heart-breaking and so destructive - God created order for a purpose and yet think we all know better - and look where it gets us!
Great excerpt. Imagining a world such as this…
“Not only would there be a diamond shortage, we would have far fewer miserable, misplaced women with big paychecks and nothing to go home to.”
Glad to have you back!
When my sons were younger and I was trying to instill manners and some degree of etiquette into them, they used to lament that women invented the whole system to civilize men. Probably not too far from the truth. :-)
Women do tend to sell themselves short in this era, and, sadly, when they've "given in" before marriage in order to keep a man's love, they lose his respect in the long run as well as their own.
Very thought-provoking excerpt. Thanks for sharing it...
How sad but true! Its really hard to raise daughters in this day and age.. they're so firmly caught between the world's values and the ones we try to raise them with.
My eldest at college feels so misplaced because she's the only one who's 'saving' herself for her husband. The pain of being different almost made her quit school.. she's gone back, but I pray every day for God to strengthen her resolve and comfort her.
Lets say a prayer today for all mothers of godly sons and daughters.. we've all got our work cut out for us!
Lisa Maria,
I didn't realize this was a factor in your daughter's unhappiness at school. I hope she can find a solid group of conservative Christian friends to help strengthen her resolve.
She'll be like a rare jewel to her future husband... and he will appreciate her purity, even if no one else does. Desire to marry a virgin is hard-wired into men. Our 20-something son makes the distinction between "datable" and "marriage material" somewhat on this basis. Also, he thinks women who want to stay home to raise children are "classy." I say Amen to that!
Prayer for our young people is certainly in order.
Blessings, e-Mom ღ
I appreciate the idea of a "woman's touch" as a civilizing force. I remember Barbara Moser saying something in her "5 Aspects of Biblical Womanhood" about how men conquer wildernesses and women make them gardens. In this way, men and women have complementary roles--but I am definitely glad to be a woman and to have the "finishing touches" role. (The role woman has fulfilled from the beginning, when she was created as the crown and end of all creation.)
e-Mom I never realized how bad it was until recently myself. She is planning to try to rejoin a Christian group, which she drifted away from because of her busyness (all part of the journey I guess). I've stressed the importance of community support when you're walking in the Light.
As for your son... I say AMEN too! I wish there were more young men like that in the world. I keep telling my daughter that there are ;-)
Lisa Maria Yes, quality young men are out there AND wanting to marry. Our son is a bit frustrated with the educational aspirations of all the young women he's dated. They want to pursue graduate degrees and careers.
He's an accomplished young man, but he's looking for certain feminine/domestic qualities in a wife that seem to have gone by the wayside.
Tell your daughter that appealing young men are out there... but she has to send a (consistently) high quality message to get noticed.
Blessings! ღ
P.S. Lisa Maria He's now 24. But when he turned 16, we gave him a silver "True Love Waits" key ring, which he still uses. I suppose he's a rare bird among his peers, like your daughter. ღ
Great, great post...Amen!!
Sounds like you've done a great job and raised a wonderful young man. I pray all the time for my daughters' (I have four remember!) future husbands (I've named them Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.. much to my children's disgust and amusement.
According to my eldest (20) she's not even looking now, but focused on her studies.. I tell her when the good Lord is ready to send THE ONE for her.. she'll be ready regardless of what she thinks! Good luck to your son.. he sounds like a wonderful young man. Tell him to pray specifically for God to send him the woman He has in mind for him.
Love & Blessings
Lisa Maria: Thank you for your many kind words... and your prayers!
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.... now there's a Mom with a Godly plan! Perfect.
Blessings on your entire family. ღ
AMEN AND DOUBLE AMEN!!!! I like the quote the first commenter said here......:)
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