How Marriage Works:
21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know
Secret #2: Beauty
Q. The secular media tells me that I should be rail thin, have perfect flawless skin, dress provocatively, and stay young forever. I’ve been married for x years now; does it really matter how I look?
Now when the turn came for each young woman to go in to King Ahasuerus, after being twelve months under the regulations for the women, since this was the regular period of their beautifying, six months with oil of myrrh and six months with spices and ointments for women … Now Esther was winning favor in the eyes of all who saw her. And when Esther was taken to King Ahasuerus, into his royal palace, in the tenth month, which is the month of Tebeth, in the seventh year of his reign, the king loved Esther more than all the women, and she won grace and favor in his sight more than all the virgins, so that he set the royal crown on her head and made her queen instead of Vashti. (Esther 2: 13, 15-17 ESV)
A. In a nutshell, yes it does. Your husband is hard-wired to respond to visual stimuli. Since sex is extremely important to men, it makes sense that all married women should take as much care with their appearance as they did in their courting days.
That doesn’t mean we should try to look like a super model! Most of those women you see on the catwalk have look like half-starved pre-adolescents and model designer clothes that would look ridiculous on a city street. As you know, digital photography techniques are used to remove facial blemishes, elongate limbs, and much more.
Remember that out of all the possible choices in the world, and all the women he could have selected to be his wife, your husband picked you. Your husband found you attractive enough to say “no” to everyone else, and “I do” to you. To him, you are a natural beauty. (And when you’re the only naked woman in the bedroom, believe me, you look like a million dollars!)
The molecules that God combined to form your particular outward physical appearance, caught your husband’s eye from the very first date. Smart Christian women learn how to dress modestly for public appearances by attracting attention upward to their face and away from their figure. This can be accomplished with a longer hair style, a colorful scarf, or a beautiful necklace and earrings.
Remember that out of all the possible choices in the world, and all the women he could have selected to be his wife, your husband picked you.
As we age, we can also employ cosmetics, hair color, and a regular routine of health and fitness to stay as vibrant and attractive as we can. Remember, your husband wants to be proud of your appearance in public because it contributes to his self-respect. When you are smiling and you look good, he feels like a success.
Sounds like a tall order, doesn’t it? Yes, personal grooming takes time, effort, discipline, and some financial resources. Since I’m due for a spring wardrobe update, I’m planning to sit my husband down and sift through a few catalogues and magazines together. I’ve done this with e-Dad periodically since the early days of our marriage. He loves it! I always learn new things about his evolving taste in women’s clothing, colors, and style preferences.
Over the winter, each week I set aside a few dollars in a special envelope labelled “wardrobe.” I’ve saved a nice sum of money to invest in a few items that I can be confident my husband will love. I can’t wait to go shopping!
Did you know that today is the Feast of Purim on the Jewish calendar?
If you don’t remember the dramatic story of Queen Esther, you can refresh your memory here. There are many lessons to be learned from this Old Testament book, but do take note of Chapter 2 and the reasons why Esther is selected to be queen.
But what about 1 Peter 3:4? Am I saying our heart condition before God is secondary? Absolutely not. Most of the Christian women I know are careful to stay pure before the Lord. However, since spring is here and we’ll be shedding our “warm woolies” before long, we could all use a little encouragement to focus some of our energy and resources on our personal appearance.
Related Links
1. Good Girls Don’t Have to Dress Bad by Sherry Braendel
2. SoftWare: Best Foot Forward
3. Why Beauty Matters
4. Recipe | Haman's Pockets (Purim)
Photos: ReverseG (Flickr)
It's Marriage Monday. Please Join Us!
What advice would you give to a young couple about to be married?
Do you have any special insights that you would like to pass on to others?
1. OPEN Topic. If you would like to link a post for Marriage Monday, take a minute to read the introduction to our topic. Today, you’re free to discuss any aspect of Christian marriage that you like! Or, if you prefer, you can discuss the topic of Beauty in Marriage, as I have above.
2. Test Your Link. You’re welcome to add your link any time up until eleven PM (PDT) on Wednesday. Please include a text link back to Chrysalis, or you can use one of these graphic buttons instead. Be sure to try your link to make sure it works correctly. And don't forget to leave a comment!
3. GIVEAWAY. Everyone who links up and joins the Marriage Monday Blog List will be included in my drawing for a flask of Boaz Perfumed Anointing Oil from the Holy Land. Sweet, yes?
4. Welcome! If you're new at Chrysalis, please accept my invitation to join our Marriage Monday community. You might want to read an introduction to this Blog Hop and find out how to join the Marriage Monday Blog List.
Thanks for linking up at Chrysalis today, sweet sister!
Text Linky
17 Comments:
German loves it when I ask for his wardrobe input via catalogs--but he hates it if I ask him to go shop with me. lol.
I think appearance always remains an important part of the equation. But we need to follow our husband's lead. German really does not like make-up of any kind, so I keep that minimal. But he doesn't mind if I play with hair colour--so I do that. It is a balance of feeling comfortable in our own skin--which our husbands appreciate--and being respectful to their wishes as well.
Thanks for an intriguing topic. Looking forward to reading other input as well.
I'm amazed at your topic based on my topic. Seems to be a connection! Love how God works!!
I agree women should spend some time on their outward appearance. This makes many women uncomfortable, but I'm convinced we shouldn't downplay our appearance. I wrote a couple of posts about it a YEAR ago and they still get hits every week.
Outer Beauty is Important to God
More Talk on Beauty
I'm curious to see the comments you'll get on this one.
wow...you are blessed that edad will sit with u and help choose outfits! dave is so not into that....although he does usually like my style....i tend to be a jeans and classic shirt girl except when in the clasroom or church...but he does like that i tend to buy trendy stuff too....and i love getting my grey covered :) this was a really good post....you wrote so well and I love how you tied in Esther and the verses from Peter. I do know that Dave has always told me "I don't care if you grow your hair long or keep it in the French bob...as long as you are happy!" lol..he says that about almost everything....i've been trying to teach my daughters that outward appearances really should not matter (however in this country they certainly do!) but that the Lord wants us to treat our temples(bodies) well as He created them....and to do our best to look and feel our best...in ALL area...spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. I want my daughters (who are MUCH better looking that I am!) to know that they are loved for who they are not for what they look like. and to have a healthy body image....they are quite thin....I am trying to teach them that yes, they need to look their best but not to obsess about it.....a healthy self esteem is so much more important than the very latest fashions or tons of makeup......balance in all things....
My husband loves to take me shopping (he never did that until a few years ago) and it's wonderful to have his input. Thanks for hosting again this month!
What a great post! It's so important to not give up on our appearance. No, we are not trying to keep up with the world. But we do need to keep up ourselves for our husband...and ourselves. It shows that we value ourselves. Thanks for the encouragement!
Very true. Men are like that. When we got together I was a complete tomboy and I have become more and more girly over the years... I wear dresses or skirts most days... but I have had to remember to wear jeans now and then just for him, it is HIS preference:)
It is really interesting to see all the variety today...off one simple topic. Well, we thought it was simple, right? Thanks for hosting!!
Good point that we shouldn't "let ourselves go" once we've "caught" our man. Too, we need to adapt beauty to what he feels is beautiful -- i.e., my husband doesn't like a heavily made-up look or certain styles, so I don't incorporate those no matter how much the world flaunts them as beautiful.
Hi: That was beautiful how you shared the Biblical example. Thanks for hosting such a great meme.
Oh e-Mom once again your wisdom just shines out on us. I am right there with you. It's so important to our men that they feel like their wife is beautiful. This is a much needed message and I will add this article to my FB articles. Thank you and sending you a hug.
Great post...if the barn needs painting than apply a coat of paint, besides it just makes you feel better.
Our pastor taught this weekend on our American idols...and too much attention to appearance can become the "self-idol"...which isn't what you are speaking of at all and as Christian women we need to remember that although we aren't off balance toward making it an idol, we can move off balance and go the other direction and leave our husbands open to temptations.
Thanks...good word, just finished exercising now to get ready for my husband's home coming!
"Smart Christian women learn how to dress modestly for public appearances by attracting attention upward to their face and away from their figure." I'll put that in mind :D Another wise writing from you, e-Mom.
my Marriage Monday
My husband is ok with my wearing sweats around the house for cleaning and such. He is such a blessing to want to spoil me, when he can even though I'm not a big clotheshorse at all.
E-Mom...this post is so timely for me. I'll be catching everyone up soon on my blog regarding my recent hiatus from bloggyland...suffice it to say, my husband and I both took the plunge for our health, our marriage, for everything...we BOTH had gastric bypass in November...TOGETHER....an hour apart...we made this journey TOGETHER! Long story short, he is down over 100 pounds and is the picture of health...I'm down 70 and healthy as a horse too. So...with that being said, I believe I paid a decent amount of attention to my appearance for him, even when I was not at the weight that I wanted to be...and I pay even more attention now. I try to pay attention to things like my skin, my tan, my toe polish, a pretty outfit, some really cute jammies...the things that I know that draw in my husband...close to my heart. But even with those details...he would love me regardless, and that is what I cherish more than anything. Unconditional...for him and for me!
Love you much!
{{Hugs}}
Jen
Sweet Marriage Monday Sisters: Thank you so much for your wonderful remarks. For those of you who left email addresses with your comment, personal responses are on the way to you. Thanks so much for joining us today! ღ
Oops! I just realized I missed out on this altogether and I had planned on joining the biweekly bunch. Sorry. I'll catch you on the next topic.
I appreciate what you said here. I tend to be one of those who doesn't put a lot of effort into my appearance so I need to have my toes stepped on from time to time!
Post a Comment