My Christian Testimony
“Carrie, you just can’t spend money we don’t have!” my father bellowed from the kitchen. “But Jim, I spent the money on presents for the children!” my mother yelled back in defense. My parents’ quarrel escalated and then I heard some scuffling, a shriek, and my mother’s footsteps pounding up the staircase to their bedroom.
That night, I fell asleep in my usual detached state of numbness. My parents' marriage had been deteriorating for about five years. By then, I was accustomed to blocking out the sounds of my mother’s muffled sobs.
It Christmas in the late 1960s. My mother had spent $350 on gifts that year, and my father was simply furious. I was fourteen years old, and every night I faithfully wrote in my diary. Of my parents’ fight, my diary simply says this:
“Mom and Dad had a fight last night. Dad hit her, but Mom explained what happened today. She says everything will be O.K. We’re broke. Dad says we’re going to have cheap meals for about six months.”
Despite the sums that were spent, my diary entry is dispassionate about list of the presents I personally received—the Beatles’ White album, a Donovan poster, the game of Twister, a new pair of slippers, an alarm clock, a stuffed bear, a pair of pantyhose, a silver jewelry box, some stationery, rose scented soaps, dusting powder, a book of jokes, and a can of Taverner’s butterscotch candies.
On Christmas day, right after our gift opening frenzy, I noticed a wide piece of fabric ribbon lying on the floor next to the Christmas tree. A visual-symbolic thinker, I made a mental note to myself. “I’ll remember the last Christmas we are still together as a family by this long piece of red ribbon.”
To read the rest of My Christian Testimony please click here ...
Photo: PhilippBunge (Flickr)
Up Next—How to Say it Nicely ... and Keep the Peace
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18 Comments:
This was such a beautiful testimony, bless you for sharing my friend. You are loved.
So true, we cannot control our lives the way we control the strings of a puppet. I'm so blessed with your salvation story, e-Mom.
Mine is up, too.
it must have been hard to see your father leaving and your mom devastated, and you can't do anything about it. It's good that we can find our peace and security in God's love all the time. i enjoyed sharing here e-Mom. thanks! :D
<a href="http://www.heartifying.com/2011/02/07/how-did-i-find-my-first-love/ ”>my Marriage Monday entry</a>
My heart ached as I read your story e-Mom. Though my dad never hit my mom, I've lived through similar scenes. I grew up with a cloud over me, wondering when the fateful day would come. My parents divorced when I was an adult and just starting my own family.
And yet as you say, Greater good is blowing in our direction all the time. We just need to keep our eye on the telltale to notice it. Though my parent's divorce was the single hardest thing I've lived through (even harder than my father's death years later), I got through it with God's help. He has used it to shape me into who I am supposed to be. Praise God He brought you close to Him before you had to watch your mother's devastation.
I liked this peek into your personal life e-Mom. Thanks for trusting us with your story.
Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing your journey of not being in control (whilst pretending to be) to knowing to whom you should yield control. Lovely to get to know you a little more.
This is so ripe with symbolism that anyone could relate to. The ribbon, the sailing, the puppet. But your words are the glue that cements this testimony. Thank you for being so transparent, I believe many readers will seek a closer relationship with Christ based on what they read here.
Oh, can I relate to the string puppets! I had several as a child, too! When I couldn't control those around me the way I did my puppets, I turned to what I could control. It's such a paradox that when we most desire control, what we most need is surrender.
I've found it personally important to remember the order in Psalm 46:1: "God is our refuge and strength." I, too often, want to skip the refuge and simply borrow his strength...
What a wonderful post! (Of course you lost me with all that "sailing talk" LOL but I got the overall poing. *wink*) Blessings to you my friend - thank you for sharing!
I appreciate you sharing this piece of your past and how it taught you to lean on grace instead of your physical father. Life can be so hard on kids (and adults); what a miracle and blessing that God heals us and makes us whole again.
I enjoyed reading how you came to the Lord.
That was an excellent testimony Emom! I'm so honored to get to know your story....and nope..we sure can't control our lives like we can a marionnette :) LOVE that our Father never leaves us nor forsakes us. Thanks for sharing this and for hosting this important monthly meme.
So well written. Amazing how a young person takes in so much at such a hard time. I remember so much detail around the storm that almost ended my parents relationship, it was a big part of my push toward to cross... Bless you for sharing.
Just two simple words:
Thank. you.
Blessings.
ps - one of these days I WILL, will will will get in on MM !! (I've always wanted to..!)
E-Mom, I could feel your pain as you shared about your parents. I could also feel excitement as you wrote about sailing. What a wonderful metaphor for life. Thank you so much for sharing your testimony!
I love reading the different ways that God draws us to Him. Thanks for sharing your story, and also for giving us the chance to link up!
Marriage Monday Sisters: Thank you for sharing your touching testimony of God's grace and care. Yesterday's stories are some of the deepest Marriage Monday posts I've read. I'm blown away by the strength your faith.
If you haven't had a chance yet, there's still time to link up. Or you can simply read and comment. Love you! e-Mom ღ
Very touching testimony...His ways are truly higher than ours and He takes the ashes at our feet and turns them to His glory
What hope for all children who experience divorce and also for each one of us who goes through the winds of a storm...good illustration
Janette: Thanks for commenting Janette. My wish is that no child would ever experience divorce...
Yet, the Lord uses all of our traumas to draw us to Himself.
Blessings, e-Mom ღ
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