PhotoHunt: Theme—Black

Semi-Advanced Blogging Tutorial

Today's theme at TNChick's PhotoHunt is "black" which made me think of this adorable kissing dog. Aren't these poochies oh so cute?

This theme also made me think about black & white type. In fact, following last week's impromptu blogging tutorial Bobbi at Blogging Along said,

"...in the comment boxes there's this message about HTML tags but I can't figure out how to use them. I'd especially like to know how to make a link appear in a comment."

Bold, Italics, & a Clickable Link

When you leave a comment, Blogger allows you to bold or italicize a word or phrase, and even insert a link.

For instance, if you want to make a phrase stand out in bold, simply put the tags <"b"> and <"/b"> around your word(s).

Example: <"b">INSERT YOUR WORDS HERE<"/b">

(NOTE: Be sure to remove all four sets of quotes.)

Click PREVIEW before you publish your comment to see if you've used the tags correctly. Your word(s) should appear bolder and darker. If not, no one will know and you can try it again!

Your Mission... Should You Decide to Accept It

Today, your challenge is to try using this set of HTML tags in my comment box. Just jot down a few cheery words (like, bless you sister!) and surround them with these tags. If you goof up, no problem. Simply send your comment to the trash. Then start all over...

Photo: Sarah (Flickr). Related: Fancy Food Photos

Next Week: Semi-Advanced Italics Tutorial

Easy, yes or no?

Read More

Marriage Monday is Coming!

Two as One

The candle flickers.
Soft music fills the room.
We lay silent, satisfied, sanctified as husband and wife.
I revel in the warmth, the security,
the sanctuary of marriage.
This is good.
The candle flickers.
Two hearts, two bodies bound together,
rest as one without shame.
God's blessing.

A regular Marriage Monday contributor, Tami Boesiger at
The Next Step has graciously agreed to let me repost this touching poem. After 23 years together, it’s obvious that her marriage is happily humming along!

Seeking Your Submission
Written by e-Mom. Share on Twitter or FB. Subscribe in a Reader

It's time once again! Our Marriage Monday community will be meeting here next week on May 3, 2010. Communication is our subject this month—but not just any old kind of talk. Our general group writing topic on Monday will be "Talking Together about S*x."

Sounds interesting, doesn’t?

Last month, the votes were fairly evenly split between two titles. Since this is your meme, on Monday I’d like to give you the freedom choose between the following:

• Talking Turkey When You’re Feeling Like a Chicken
• Getting HOT: Why Wives Need Loving Conversation First

You’re the Marriage Expert

It's a fact that husbands deeply desire to please their wives s*xually. And as his helpmate, it’s our job to support him in being successful. They say the biggest s*x organ is the brain, so it’s important that we married Christian women use our God-given brains to effectively communicate our needs and wishes. Grab one of these titles, and teach us what you know about intimacy and communication.

Family Friendly

Remember, this isn't a school assignment, and there won’t be any grading. W00t! I know your writing will be a blessing to us. However, since Marriage Monday is a Christian public forum, may I remind you to keep your post “family-friendly.”

For Newcomers

Our community of Marriage Monday bloggers is a diverse group of joyful, Godly women. We are young, old, seasoned, and newlywed. For the past 2-1/2 years, we've been meeting at Chrysalis the first Monday of every month. You definitely don't want to miss out! You'll meet some amazing women and gain a little wisdom along the way.

Your blog entry doesn't need to be fancy, clever, or very long. Once you've posted, come back here and add your permalink to MckLinky. Then, take a few minutes to visit a few of the other Marriage Monday contributors. See you on Monday!

The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. (1 Cor 7:4 NIV)

Want this button?

Photos: IrishTypepad & JustinLowery (Flickr)

Coming Up—Random: Another Quick Blogging Tutorial

Will you be joining us this Monday?

Read More

Book Review: "One Million Arrows"

Raising Our Children to Change the World
Post by e-Mom. Share on Twitter or FB. Subscribe in a Reader

As Moms, we want God's best for our precious children. Most of us are willing to sacrifice a lot for our kids, so they can grow up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Julie Ferwerda, author of One Million Arrows has a big vision for our children, and in fact, for all the children on the planet. You can read my review and interview here.Also see Ps 127:3-5.

The message of Julie's inspiring book is so important, that I wanted to share another reader's point of view. The very smart and talented April at "April in January" was the random winner of this book in my recent giveaway. I asked her to contribute her thoughts at Chrysalis as a guest blogger, and know you'll enjoy hearing from her today.

One Million Arrows by Julie Ferwerda

This book is quite simply, excellent. I wanted that to be the very first thing I said about it. Even though I have been excited about this book from the moment I first heard about it, I feel that I should admit that I felt a bit of trepidation before I ever held this book in my hands. I've read my share of Christian parenting books and some of them left feelings of insecurity and discouragement in their wake.

One Million Arrows is not so much a Christian parenting book as it is a wake up call to parents and the church to be about the business of raising youth for Christ. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, pastor, youth leader, Sunday school teacher or just have a heart for young people, you will be inspired. We are currently raising a generation with limitless potential. What would the world look like if we raised them up to further the cause of spreading the gospel? Pretty amazing, I think!

Julie Ferwerda introduces us to Dr. M. A. Thomas a/k/a Papa. She tells us of Papa's work in India and the difference he made in the lives of thousands of children rescued from lives on the street, housed, fed, loved and educated (both spiritually and academically). Many of these children, once grown, set out to work in the minstry. Imagine for a moment, the gospel spreading from this man's work like ripples from a pebble thrown in a pond. How much difference one man's obedience to the Lord made in the lives of those children and the lives that they, in turn touched! It is almost unimaginable.

I've suggested it to several of my friends as well as to a visiting CEF (Child Evangelism Fellowship) director, an admissions officer at a Bible college and a missionary returning to Malawi...

As a parent and a youth group leader, what impacted me most of all was the truth that we can not allow our churches to be solely responsible for the spiritual upbringing of our youth. Faith needs to be nurtured in the home for in order to be "soul deep" and not "skin deep". We need to be equipping our children to be world changers. Throughout the book, Ferwerda weaves examples of young people who have made and are making tremendous contributions to the kingdom.

I loved this book, it gave me much to think about. I've suggested it to several of my friends as well as to a visiting CEF (Child Evangelism Fellowship) director, an admissions officer at a Bible college and a missionary returning to Malawi in a few months - pretty much anyone who made eye contact with me while the book was in my purse. I came away challenged and hope that you will too!—April

Related: What's on Your Nightstand?

The fourth Tuesday of every month, Jennifer at 5 Minutes for Books invites bloggers to share the titles they're reading and link up.

W00t! I'm half way through my Spring Reading Thing. Here's my list of completed books. Click the links for my reviews if you're interested.

1. Laughing in the Dark by Chonda Pierce. (Reviewed)
2. How Women Help Men Find God by David Murrow. (Reviewed)

3. Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God by C.J. Mahaney. (Reviewed)

Photo: RichardBH (Flickr)

Up Next—Reminder: Marriage Monday is Coming!

Can you recommend a "must read" book?

Read More

Law & Grace. What's the Difference?

For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: ‘The righteous will live by faith.’
(Rom 1:17 NIV)

WFW: 20 Points to Ponder
Written by e-Mom. Share on Twitter or FB. Subscribe in a Reader Scripture

1. Pregnant with meaning, together law and grace offer the complete message of God’s biblical plan for redemption. United by faith, law and grace exist on a continuum with one another, a trinity of Scriptural rhetoric waiting to be unpacked by the spiritual traveler.

2. Every school boy learns that play involves competition and rules, and rules mean law. Uniquely wired for action, boys learn to hit the ball according to the rules. When the game is over, there is a clear winner and a clear loser. Occasionally, someone goes home with a bloody nose.

3. Conversely, every school girl learns that play involves cooperation. Wired for talk, groups of girls take turns listening receptively to each other without judgment. To girls, play equals relationship, and relationship means empathy, understanding, and grace. In the end, everyone wins.

4. Therefore, even school children understand at least half of the biblical equation, according to their gender. By adulthood, most thoughtful people recognize that law and grace or rules and relationship exist in tension with one another. And like gender, they accept that both are valid.

5. Fresh from the hand of God, our ancestral parents, Adam and Eve, learned these concepts in a symbolic way. In the absence of playmates and a school yard, God gave the first pair a rigorous object lesson. When commanded not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil (law) the two disobeyed, forfeiting the opportunity to eat from the Tree of Life (grace) and live forever in Paradise.

6. In a deliberate effort to compete against God and reverse the roles inherent between the Creator and his creation, the first couple failed to trust in God's loving lordship. In the end, the federal head of humanity got his nose bloodied, and sadly, he (and his bride) went to their graves as losers.

7. Adam and Eve committed a capital crime, and that crime reversed the order of all things. Originally, the first couple were abundantly provided for by their loving Father. Adam and Eve lived in Eden according to the law of reaping and sowing.

8. There was plenty of time for conversation with the Father and with each other. The orchard was full of produce, and after they harvested the fruit-laden trees, they sowed the seed for a future harvest. This state of ease and bliss can be summarized with the phrases “being before doing,” “spiritual before physical,” “relationships precede work,” or “grace begets morality.”

9. Conversely, after the Fall, the first couple were forced to live in the harsh environment outside of Eden according to the law of sowing and reaping. Planting seed in infertile soil, plus facing drought, pestilence, and weeds, Adam and Eve had to compete against many adversities to survive. Now separated from God, fellowship and conversation with Him were severely limited.

10. The first murder occurred soon after Adam and Eve’s expulsion from Eden when their son Cain killed his brother, Abel. Succeeding generations were equally violent and corrupt, and God brought Man to the point of near extinction during Noah’s Flood. Nevertheless, God slowly began to unfold his plan for redemption through one faithful man, Abraham.

11. Eventually, God gave his Law to Moses and the emerging nation of Israel. Designed as a codified civil, ethical, and ceremonial system, the Law was intended to restrain man’s evil ways and open a way for fellowship with God. This latter state of human affairs can be summarized with the phrases “doing before being,” “physical before spiritual,” “good works precede relationship,” or “moral law begets peaceful living.”

12. The rise and fall of Israel proved that the Old Covenant of the Law was incapable of producing the quality of righteous living that God required of his people. Faithful obedience to this written set of precepts only served to reveal sin (Rom 3:20); demonstrated the impossibility of works righteousness (Mt 5: 21ff); and enabled sinners to recognize Jesus as the Messiah
(Lk 24:44-46).

13. There are several important characteristics that limited the law’s effectiveness in producing lasting change. For instance, as a type, the Law was behavioral or external to believers; it was only given to the nation of Israel; it covered sin without providing remission; and it required repetitive sacrifices under the administration of a special priesthood.

14. On the other hand, God’s intervention into human history in the person of Jesus Christ, inaugurated a New Covenant of Grace that pleroo (fulfilled) (Gal 5:14) and katargeo (nullified) the Mosaic Law (Eph 2:14-16). With the outpouring of the promised Spirit, came the power to live the kind of holy life that adherence to the Law could never generate.

15. For instance, by faith in the anti-type―the grace of Jesus Christ―the New Covenant is internal to the believer; it knows no national boundaries; it remits or washes away sin; and it requires only the perfect blood of Christ, who is both the sacrifice and the eternal high priest.

16. According to Jesus’ teaching, the New Covenant of Grace holds believers to a much more exacting ethical standard than did the Old Covenant of the Law. The Decalogue is still cited in the New Testament as an invaluable code of ethics. Yet, Jesus taught that emotional states such as anger and lust were akin to murder and adultery, both capital offenses on the list of divine commandments.

17. In conclusion, the difference between Law and Grace is similar to the differences between Male and Female, Hawks and Doves, Mind and Heart, or “have to” versus “want to.”

18. On a spiritual level, God has begun a grand reversal of the catastrophic state of judgment and death that he cursed upon the federal head of humanity in the Garden. The New Covenant in Jesus Christ is a glorious down payment toward man’s return to the blissful Edenic state of Grace.

19. Christian believers have already tasted a bit of heaven through their restored relationship with God. But the complete fulfillment has not yet arrived. Ultimately, Jesus Christ and his Bride the church will find complete restoration and union in the eternal age that is to come.

20. "And the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse." (Rev 22:1-3 NIV)

Photos: Barnaby Wasson (Flickr).

This week, Word-Filled-Wednesday will be at Susan's blog, Forever His.

Coming Up—Guest Post: Book Review

Your thoughts?

Read More

Random: A Quick Blogging Tutorial

How to Center Buttons, Text & Images
Written by e-Mom. Share on Twitter or FB. Subscribe in a Reader

Note to Subscribers: Please click through to Chrysalis to read this post. HTML code is not published in RSS feed.

Graphic designers like to use a grid system when arranging elements on a page. In print media, the edges of different design components usually line up in an organized "waffle-like" fashion.

Blogging employs a similar logic. While it's most appealing for text to be aligned to the left, it's nice to be able to center some elements on occasion. For instance, when all the buttons in your sidebar are centered, your blog looks cleaner, better organized, and more visually appealing.


If you're newer to blogging, you may not know how post a photo, embed a video, or add graphic buttons so they sit in the center of your page. It's very easy to learn the tags and use them whenever you want.

If you're newer to blogging, you may not know how post a photo, embed a video, or add graphic buttons so they sit in the center of your page.

For example, to center a button in your sidebar, simply type <"center"> on the left side of your button code, and then type <"/center"> on the right side. Hit publish, and voila! Now your button is no longer hugging the left side of the column. (NOTE: Be sure to remove the quotation marks.)

You can use <"br /"> before or after your buttons to add space between them. This eliminates that jumbled, haphazard appearance, and gives your reader's eye a place to rest when scanning. (NOTE: Again, do not include the quotation marks.)

That's all there is to it! Experiment with your code, and you'll quickly learn what looks good, and what really looks awful.

Let me know if you have any questions!

Photo: petitecorneille (Flickr)

Read More

Humor From "At Home in Mitford"

Sky Divin'

"Well, this feller he wanted to learn to sky dive, don't you know.

And so he goes to this school and he takes all kind of trainin' and all, and one day comes the time he has to jump out of this airplane, and out he goes, like a ton of bricks, and he gets on down there a little ways and commences to pull th' cord and they don't nothin' happen, don't you know, and so he keeps droppin’ and he switches over and starts pullin' on his emergency cord, and they still don't nothin’ happen, an' th' first thing you know, here comes this other feller, a shootin' up from the ground, and the feller goin' down says, "Hey buddy, do you know anything about parachutes?"

And the one comin' up says, "Nope. Do you know anything about gas stoves?"

Mitford Cookbook & Kitchen Reader

You've probably heard of the popular Mitford fiction series by Jan Karon. Father Tim, and all the rest are legends in the minds of millions of Mitford fans around the world. This joke from At Home in Mitford really tickled my funny bone, and I hope it does the same for you.

(Christian Foodie Alert: Did you know there’s a Mitford Cookbook? I just discovered it. Scrumptious! Look inside. Puny's Recipe for Potato Salad.)

Related: Join Kim at Homesteader's Heart for Friday Funnies

Photos: Garrulus (Flickr)

Coming Later—Your God-Given Gifts

Giggling? Gotcha!

Read More

GREEN Medicine: Is it Safe for Christians?

And on the banks, on both sides of the river, there will grow all kinds of trees for food... Their fruit will be for food, and their leaves for healing. (Ez 47:12 ESV)

Consider posting a photo and a verse and linking up for Amydeanne's popular
Word-Filled-Wednesday. This week, our guest hostess is Christy at Critty Joy.

The Bible & Alternative Medicine
Written by e-Mom. Share on Twitter or FB. Subscribe in a Reader

Snake oil, snake charming, and the fountain of youth. To me, these phrases conjure up images of scams at best and sorcery at worst. The variety of alternative medical treatments available today can be very confusing—and even frightening. It’s tempting to shun alternative options altogether, and stick only to traditional medicine.

So does the Bible prohibit the use of alternative medicine? Here's what GotQuestions.org has to say:


Three Helpful Q & A

Q. Should a Christian consider alternative medicine?

A. “There are two primary issues with this ‘alternative medicine is always wrong’ mindset. First, much of modern traditional medicine also has its roots in non-Christian religions and philosophies. While alternative medicines like acupuncture may have originated in connection with Taoism, many traditional medicines originated in the ancient Greek and Roman cultures, which were just as non-Christian as ancient Taoism.

The idea that unless something was invented by a Christian, it is inherently wrong is not biblically supportable. Many inventions and technologies that Christians have no qualms about using were invented by non-Christians. The belief system of the inventor does not necessarily determine whether the invention itself has moral value. The origin of an alternative form of medicine should not be the deciding factor in whether a Christian can consider using it.”

Q. What is the standard for determining whether a treatment is alternative?

A. “There is no standard for determining whether a medicine or treatment is considered alternative. Is chiropractic treatment considered alternative? Is taking herbal supplements considered alternative? Is a gluten-free diet or eating Brazilian acai berries considered alternative?

People are quick to point to some alternative medicines as being wrong, while failing to recognize that they themselves are using alternatives. If anything other than having surgery or swallowing a prescribed pill is considered alternative, then hundreds of millions of people are already knowingly, or unknowingly, using alternative medicine. Ultimately, the deciding factor in this discussion is whether or not an alternative medicine can be separated from the philosophy associated with the medicine or treatment...”
Read more...

Q. How do I choose between the options?

A. “With the freedom that we have in Christ, decisions like whether or not to use alternative medicine are to be based on our own biblically-informed convictions and preferences (1 Corinthians 6:12; 8:9; 2 Corinthians 3:17; Galatians 5:1). As with everything, Christians are to be wise and discerning. We are free to follow our convictions as long as they are biblically sound and bathed in prayer. What we are not free to do is to force our own convictions on others, especially in debatable areas such as alternative medicine.”

Personal Lifestyle Choices

I’m a big fan of nutritional therapies including naturopathy, vitamin & mineral supplements, and herbs. Aromatherapy is effective and of course, so is fervent prayer. We drink alcohol in moderation and we try to walk for ½ hour in the evenings. I also enjoy a cup of my favorite brand of Green Tea, Twinings of London every afternoon. (Did you know it's terrific for weight loss?)

Yep, alternative medicine really works for me.

Related

1. "Book Review: The Maker’s Diet"

2. "My Testimony of Healing Through Prayer"

Visit We are THAT Family for Works-for-Me-Wednesday. Photos: EricinSF & JIGGS IMAGES (Flickr)


How do you feel about alternative medicine?

Read More

Comedian Chonda Pierce in the Spotlight

With my background as a preacher's daughter and my southern roots, of course it's going to come out in my comedy," she says. "When I started out, I wasn't making righteous statements like 'I shall be clean.' I didn't know a dirty word.
—Chonda Pierce

Growing up in North Carolina and Tennessee, Pierce's southern-fried-and-sanctified brand of ‘clean’ comedy has clearly reached a critical mass, winning legions of fans who consistently propel her DVD releases into the Gold and Platinum stratosphere, drawing sellout crowds across a wide swath of middle America.—SESAC News

She's Famous and She's Funny!
Written by e-Mom. Share on Twitter or FB. Subscribe in a Reader

But if you’ve never heard of Christian comic Chonda Pierce, you’re in good company. Up here in the Pacific Northwest (U.S.) we do other things—like squishing through muddy rain forests and chewing on crunchy granola. Our local community celebration in August is called "Bumbershoot." In fact around here, it’s rumored that Mark Twain once said, "the coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in Seattle."

Offstage in the Shadows

They say depression is anger turned inward… that just made me mad!—Chonda Pierce

Last month, I was introduced to this delightful southern lady through her poignant book, Laughing in the Dark (2001, Howard Books). Concerned about the mental health of a dear friend’s daughter, I bought this book on the recommendation of a blogging sister. I was curious to know what a comedian might have to say about her experience with clinical depression.

With gut-wrenching candor, Chonda shares her experience of pain and confusion based in several repressed girlhood traumas. (Emotional "housecleaning" is a common scenario for women in perimenopause.) She’s a seasoned professional and she weaves her stories with her trademark humor. However, the real value of this book goes far beyond Chonda’s personal anecdotes.

From Comedy to Counsel

In a very disarming way, the comedian also dispenses solid advice about finding appropriate medical care, biblical counsel, prayer, and friendship support. Laughing in the Dark is an excellent resource. It's the perfect book to give to a girlfriend who suspects she might be suffering from this debilitating mental illness, but is unsure about how to get a diagnosis and proper treatment.

Chonda also reminds her readers that those who suffer from depression often feel shame and humiliation—and a lack of faith. Armed with a book like this, I’m thankful that I can offer someone some help and hope, and even a healthy dose of laughter. I highly recommend it.

Related

1. Spiritual Growth: Anger & Forgiveness by Chrysalis

2. For a boatload of good reads, visit Jennifer’s meme "What's On Your Nightstand?" at

Five Minutes for Books the fourth Tuesday of every month.

Up Next—Christians & Alternative Medicine

Your thoughts on depression?

Read More

Welcome! Chrysalis Cafe

Buongiorno! You've arrived at the place in the blogosphere where three exciting Christian Mom communities all meet together under one roof.
With over 500 subscribers and followers, there's a cup of goodness in the Cafe for everyone.


1. Chrysalis Weblog

I’m e-Mom your hostess. As a seasoned Titus Two woman, you'll find me serving up "thinkful" content for Christian Moms here at Chrysalis weblog at least twice-a-week. There's plenty of friendly discussion going on in the comment boxes, so don't hesitate to offer your hot and tasty thoughts.


2. Marriage Monday Meme

If you're looking for some marriage wisdom, please join us here for
Marriage Monday the first and third Monday of every month. We're a diverse community of Christian women—young, old, seasoned, and newlywed. You’re invited to leave a link to your blog post on a specific group topic. For a general introduction to this blog hop click here. Why not put Marriage Monday on your calendar right now?


3. Susannah’s {Kitchen} i-Store

At least once-a-week you can find me over at my internet store, Susannah's {Kitchen}. It’s no secret that Christian hospitality is enjoying a renaissance, along with trendy vintage aprons. Want to tie on a flirty new apron, purchase top kitchen gadget, or try out a recipe? Take a minute to visit. You’ll also meet some amazing Christian “foodies” from around the blogosphere. (Follow my tweets!)

Thanks for letting me serve you at the Chrysalis Café today. If you're looking for a change of pace from family journals, you've come to the right place. My prayer is that you'll find one (or more) of these Christian communities to suit your needs and lifestyle.

BTW, to keep you updated on all Café activities, a Facebook Page is also available. Click here to LIKE Chrysalis Cafe.

Love, e-Mom ღ


Home Page Slide Show Photos: Adam Logan & RooRacer (Flickr). Illustration: "Admiring Butterfly by Imagezoo.com via Photosearch

Read More

GIVEAWAY: Tickets to "ONE" Marriage Conference

Marriage Monday Sisters, Listen Up!

Written by e-Mom. Share on Twitter or FB. Subscribe in a Reader

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be ONE flesh. (Gen 2:24)

The organizers at A Woman Inspired have generously donated three tickets to their online marriage conference “ONE” scheduled for May 10-12, 2010. (Ticket Value: $12.95) What an exciting opportunity!

All Marriage Monday Participants are Eligible

If you’re a member of our Marriage Monday community here at Chrysalis (a linker, a lurker, or wannabe, or otherwise) you’re eligible for my drawing.

“ONE” promises to be encouraging and inspiring. The list of speakers includes the following marriage experts:

1. Cindy Beall from CindyBeall.com
2. Lynn Donovan from Spiritually Unequal Marriage
3. Sheila Wray Gregoire from To Love, Honor, and Vacuum

And many more…

To be included in the drawing, email me at marriagemonday [at] gmail [dot] com with your name and email address. Please include “Tickets” in the Subject Line. Three winners will be notified on Friday April 24, 2010.

Vote for our Next Marriage Monday Topic

You're invited to join us here at Chrysalis for Marriage Monday on May 3, 2010. If you have a minute, I need a few more voters to help break a tie for our next group writing topic. Cast your vote here. Thanks for your help!

Photos: bbheart (Flickr)

Up Next—Comedian Chonda Pierce in the Spotlight

Read More

Five Fundamentals of a Flourishing Marriage

Advice from the Pros
Written by e-Mom. Share on Twitter or FB. Subscribe in a Reader

Dennis and Barbara Rainey have been married forever… well, it certainly seems that way. When we were in college in the '70s, they were a few years older, and already wed. They founded their FamilyLife ministry back then, and once e-Dad and I got married, we dipped into their excellent books for help and advice.

One thing I remember very clearly is that Barbara kept popping out babies—until they finally stopped at six. (I "heart" large families!) Now they’re empty nesters, with more than a dozen grandchildren. Thankfully, after 35 years together, they’re still serving up their marriage and family wisdom.

Recently, the Raineys came out with the FamilyLife Marriage Bible (NKJV): "A Bible designed to equip couples for life." This leather-bound version would be a fabulous wedding gift. Take a look.

Here’s a paraphrase of Dennis and Barbara's article, “Five Essentials for a Thriving Marriage.”

1. Be Thankful
Thanking God daily for your husband is a very real way to focus on his admirable qualities. The demands family, church, and work can dampen your attitude toward the one you agreed to accompany through life.

2. Communicate Feelings
Transparent conversation where each of you dares to reveal your deepest thoughts, ideas, fears, hopes, and dreams creates the strong foundation of emotional intimacy. It is vital to communicate authentically, especially during the more difficult chapters of marriage.

3. Bedroom Intimacy
From emotional intimacy springs fulfilling sexual intimacy. The safety of being deeply known and still being accepted—despite our flaws—finds its expression in marriage through sex. Sexual intimacy keeps a marriage from deteriorating into little more than a legally arranged partnership. Scheduling your sex is not only a good idea, but may be essential.

4. Choose Forgiveness
Because we all are broken, imperfect human beings, our husbands will fail us. If we focus on flaws, we stop to communicating and offend each other without trying. Failing marriages can be renewed and revived by forgiveness; healthy marriages are sustained by it.

5. Be Willing to Learn
Your husband is changing and developing, which means there will always be new things to learn about him every age. Sometimes marriages run into problems that need the help of a third party. If this happens, find a Christian counselor who will work to improve your marriage, and not just agree with your grievances.


Related: “The Superior Wife Syndrome” by Barbara Rainey

Photos: greendragonflygirl (Flickr) & Christianbook.com

Coming Up—Comedian Chonda Pierce in the Spotlight

What else would you add to this list?

Read More

Missions: What's the 10/40 Window?

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. (Matt 28:19 NIV)

Consider posting a photo and a verse and linking up for Amydeanne's popular
Word-Filled-Wednesday. This week, our guest hostess is Lori at All You Have to Give.


13 Points to Pray Over
Written by e-Mom. Share on Twitter or FB. Subscribe in a Reader

1. The 10/40 Window refers to the area of the world between latitudes 10 degrees and 40 degrees north of the equator covering North Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. Many of the world’s least-reached people live in this area.

2. Nearly 4 billion people live here, including 90 percent of the world’s poorest of the poor.

3. It is estimated that 1.6 billion of these people have never had the chance to hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ.


4. The seat of every major non-Christian religion—Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Animism, Atheism, and Sikhism—is headquartered in the 10/40 Window.

5. In many of the 67 countries represented in the 10/40 Window, witnessing the Christian Gospel means death.

6. Truly, the 10/40 Window remains the darkest and most inhospitable territory to the cause of Christ and represents the greatest remaining stronghold of Satan.

7. Two-thirds of the world’s population (4 billion) live in the 67 nations of the 10/40 Window.

8. 95% of the people are unevangelized.

9. 90% of the people are the poorest of the poor, averaging $250 per family annually.

10. 43 of the 50 worst countries in the world for persecution of Christians are here.

11. Illiteracy is widespread.

12. Terrorist organizations and child prostitution run rampant in many of these nations.

13. Horrific abuse of women and children remains unchecked.

Related: "While some hearts are closed, the heart of a child is always open." Donate to Biblica a ministry of the International Bible Society-STL Global

Excerpt via The Church of the Nazarene. Join the friendly Thursday Thirteen folk.

Photo: christing-O (Flickr)

Up Next—Five Fundamentals of a Flourishing Marriage

Have you been to any of the countries
inside the 10/40 window?

Read More

How Women Can Help Men Find God

Twelve Marks of a Man-Friendly Church
Written by e-Mom. Share on Twitter or FB. Subscribe in a Reader

Have you read Wild at Heart by John Eldrege? This popular author knows that males have an “undomesticated” dimension to their personality that's completely foreign to women.

Let’s be honest. It’s that take-a-ride-on-the-wild-side behavior that makes men attractive, isn’t it? Yesiree! There's a strong chance you married a man who had strength of character and kindness, but who also climbed a few mountains and jumped out of airplanes to win your hand.

Why Iron Man Resists the Gospel

Today, I want to talk about that inner drive in all men—those attractive iron man qualities. Paradoxically, it's his competitive risk-seeking temperament that works against a man when it comes to growing in the Christian faith.

As you know men like action, rules, performance-based recognition, and hunting (for deer, the big sale, or golf balls). Old Testament Judaism, with its system of animal sacrifice and a morality based on the Law was completely male-friendly. Add kinesthetic body movements to ritual prayer and it’s not hard to grasp why the religion of Islam also has a strong appeal to men.

What men really need to know is that God accepts and respects them unconditionally, is calling them on a dangerous mission, and he wants them to follow him wholeheartedly—even to the point of death.

Christianity, on the other hand, is much more female-friendly. We’re taught that God is offering us a secure and lasting relationship of unconditional love and we don’t have to do a thing to earn it. It’s a gift of God’s grace. While that's completely true, this modern salvation message says nothing about the subject Jesus talked about most frequently: The Kingdom of God. It shouldn’t surprise us that this message falls flat for more than a few of our men.

What men really need to know is that God accepts and respects them unconditionally, is calling them on a dangerous mission, and he wants them to follow his leadership wholeheartedly—even to the point of death. According to David Murrow, author of How Women Help Men Find God (2008, Thomas Nelson) that's the way the Gospel message should be presented in order to stir the masculine soul.

Why Many Men Think Church is Only for Women

In his illuminating book, Murrow points out that most modern churches are set up to minister to women. Sitting still for long periods, listening to well-crafted lecture-sermons, praying in circles, emotional praise songs, personal testimonies, hugging strangers, quilts on the walls, doilies on the communion table, and flowers in the chancel do little to attract men—in fact they repel them.

“By the time Harley escapes to the parking lot, Harley’s masculinity bank is punctured and leaking badly. He is so far out of his comfort zone he’d need a GPS to find it again. The early church did away with mandatory circumcision, but today’s church unwittingly emasculates its men.”—David Murrow

The Kinds of Churches Men Love

Over the last decade, I admit, our current denominational church home has brought far more satisfaction to me than to e-Dad. Although he’s a strong Christian believer, "doing church" my way has been a challenge for him. So we decided it was about time we address his wish list too. To help us achieve our goal, I’ve taken to heart what David Murrow calls the “twelve marks of a man-friendly church.”

• a large church… tends to approach gender balance.
• non-denominational… men are leading the exodus from traditional churches.
• strict adherence to Scripture… churches that attract men have a bottom line: The Bible.
• a multi-racial crowd… racially diverse equals growth.
• a young congregation… church plants do well with men.
• energized men in the pews… engaged men transmit fervor to others.
• a man in the pulpit… men follow men.
• a pastor who is astonishing and authoritative…
like Jesus (Matt 7:28-29).
• informal attire… men don’t like playing dress-up.
• modern technology… men think technology is cool.
• fun & humor… a little humor helps men drop their guard.
• a clear unique mission… helps men to gauge if they’re winning. e.g. “purpose driven” churches are a magnet to men.

Three Chapters on Reaching Unbelieving Husbands

Murrow’s book, How Women Help Men Find God covers so much more—especially for ladies in spiritually unequal marriages. I strongly recommend you get this book (buy it used online like I did) so you can glean from Murrow’s unique insights in the following chapters:

• What You Do. What God Does
• Your Words Whisper: Your Life Shouts
• How to Talk to Men About God
• (Bonus) How to Lead Boys to Faith

Ten Ways Women Can Take Action in the Church

Murrow offers ten ways church women can take action to attract more men through the doors. De-feminizing the church décor; supporting man-only events; letting men police themselves; and supporting the placement of men in high-profile leadership positions are a few of them.

My Personal Recommendation

If you're serious about discovering how to reach your husband, your son, your brother, or your father read these amazon.com reviews. Better yet, I highly recommend you get yourself a copy of this book and commit to applying Murrow’s closing challenges—something I'm currently attempting. Pray for me!

Related

1. David Murrow’s websites: Church for Men &
Speaking of Men

2. “Why Men Hate Going to Church” by Chrysalis

3. For more book reviews, be sure to check out Jennifer's monthly carnival I Read It! at 5 Minutes for Books.

Photos: LukeRobinson, RandySonofRobert & randylane (Flickr)

Do you agree or disagree with this author?

Read More