Monday, October 18, 2010

25 Things the Bible has to Say About Marriage


Which Ancient Traditions are Still Relevant Today?

1. The institution of marriage dates from the time of man’s original creation
(Gen 2:18-25).

2. The Law of Moses discouraged polygamy, restricted divorce, and aimed to enforce moral purity of life.

3. In Old Testament times, the choice of the bride depended not on the bridegroom himself, but on his relatives or on a friend selected by the bridegroom for this purpose.

4. The consent of the maiden was sometimes asked (Gen 24:58) but this appears to have been subordinate to the previous consent of the father and the adult brothers (Gen 24:51; 34:11).

5. The selection of the bride was followed by the espousal. This was a formal proceeding undertaken by a friend or legal representative on the part of the bridegroom, and by the parents on the part of the bride. It was confirmed by oaths, and accompanied with presents to the bride.

6. The act of betrothal was celebrated by a feast, and it was customary for the bridegroom to place a ring on the bride’s finger. The ring was regarded among the Hebrews as a symbol of fidelity (Gen 41:42) and of adoption into a family
(Lk 15:25).

7. Between the betrothal and the marriage an interval of time elapsed, varying from a few days in the patriarchal age (Gen 24:55) to a full year for virgins and a month for widows in later times.

8. During this period the bride-elect lived with her friends. All communication between herself and her future husband was carried on through a friend selected for that purpose, termed the "friend of the bridegroom" (Jn 3:29).

9. An engaged woman was now virtually regarded as the wife of her future husband; hence faithlessness on her part was punishable with death
(Deut 22:23; Deut 22:24). However, the husband had the option of "putting her away" (Deut 24:1; Matt 1:19).

10. The essence of the marriage ceremony consisted in the transference of the bride from her father’s house to that of the bridegroom or his father.

11. The bridegroom prepared himself for the occasion by putting on a festive costume, and especially by placing on his head a handsome nuptial turban
(Ps 45:8; Song of Songs 4:10; Song of Songs 4:11).

12. The bride was veiled. Her robes were white (Rev 19:8 ), and sometimes embroidered with gold thread (Ps 45:13; Ps 45:14 ) and covered with perfumes
(Ps 45:8 ). She was further decked out with jewels (Is 49:18; 61:10; Rev 21:2).

13. When the fixed hour arrived—generally late in the evening—the bridegroom set forth from his house, accompanied by his groomsmen (Judges 14:11) "children of the bride-chamber" (Matt 9:15), preceded by a band of musicians or singers
(Gen 31:27; Jer 7:34; 16:9), and accompanied by persons bearing torches
(Jer 25:10; Matt 25:7; Rev 18:23). The groom took the bride with the friends to his own house.

14. At the house a feast was prepared, to which all the friends and neighbors were invited (Gen 29:22; Matt 22:1-10; Lk 14:8; Jn 2:2). The wedding festivities continued for seven or even fourteen days (Judges 14:12; Job 8:19).

15. The guests were provided with fitting robes by the host (Matt 22:11) and the feast was enlivened with riddles (Judges 14:12) and other amusements.

16. The last act in the ceremony was the conducting of the bride to the bridal chamber (Judges 15:1; Joel 2:16) where a canopy was prepared. (Ps 19:5 ; Joel 2:16). The bride was still completely veiled, so that the deception practiced on Jacob was not difficult (Gen 29:23).

17. A newly married man was exempt from military service for a year,
or from any public business which might draw him away from his home (Gen 24:5). A similar privilege was granted to a man who was betrothed (Gen 20:7).

18. The duties of the wife in the Hebrew household were multifaceted. The general superintendence of the domestic tasks included the manufacture of clothing, serving meals and cooking, from which even women of rank were not exempt (Gen 18:8; 2 Sam 13:5). If she were a model of activity and skill, she produced a surplus of fine linen shirts and girdles, which she sold to increase her husband’s wealth (Prov 31:14; Prov 31:24).

19. The legal rights of the wife are noted in Exodus 21:10. It was the husband’s responsibility to provide her with food, raiment, and her conjugal right in the marriage bed.

20. In the New Testament, our Lord and his apostles re-established the integrity and sanctity of the marriage bond (Matt 19:4; Matt 19:5).

21. Jesus restricted divorce to the case of fornication, and the prohibition of remarriage for all persons divorced on improper grounds (Matt 5:32; 19:9; Rom 7:3; 1 Cor 7:10; 1 Cor 7:11).

22. The New Testament calls for moral purity generally (Heb 13:4) and formally condemns fornication (Acts 15:20).

23. The mutual relations of husband and wife are a subject of frequent exhortation (Eph 5:22; Eph 5:33; Col 3:18; Col 3:19; Tit 2:4; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1-7).

24. In the Old Testament, the allegorical and typical allusions to marriage are intended to exhibit the spiritual relationship between God and his people Israel (Is 54:5; Jer 3:14; Hos 2:19).

25. In the New Testament, the image of the bridegroom is transferred from Yahweh to Christ (Matt 9:15; Jn 3:29), and that of the bride to the Church
(2 Cor 11:2; Rev 19:7; Rev 21:2; Rev 21:9).

This post is a paraphrase of the information on marriage provided by Smith’s Bible Dictionary found online at Bible Study Tools.

Related: "Ancient Jewish Wedding Customs. Engagement: Pledging Faithfulness"

Photo: Jewish Wedding, NYC by kshapero (Flickr)



Up Next— How to Lead a Bible Study

Which points strike you as new, or especially meaningful?



11 Comments:

e-Mom said...

Via Facebook, Elizabeth said...

Fascinating read!! Thanks for posting it.

Joyfull said...

Very interesting. Thanks for sharing.

crickl's nest said...

Hi e-mom

Our church women just did a Bible study called Attending the Bride of Christ. It is a study on how the ancient Jewish wedding customs were also a prophecy on Christ's return for His bride. Very cool study!

You can find it here: http://www.attendingthebride.com/

Great article!

Christie

Faith said...

very interesting and informative. believe it or not, our former church, the one we were in when we met and got married, told us my husband was exempt for ministry duties, etc. for a year based on this Biblical standard...so...he ended up taking some time off from the youth ministry he was highly involved in....but..it was just a few months, not a whole year....i always thought that was very kind of them.

Jona said...

can't help but comment about the photo in this entry. it looks funny for me. although during our wedding i wore a veil too. but the modernized one which is a more transparent cloth. I think the values of marriage from before until now didn't change alot.

thanks for sharing!


Heartifying!

overflowofaforgivensoul said...

I found the photo funny as well! Great article. I enjoyed it very much.

e-Mom said...

Joyfull, Crickl, & Faith: Personal email responses have been sent to you!

Jona: Yes, I agree, this photo is unusual in light of our current customs! Thanks for commenting today.

Overflowofaforgivensoul: Nice to see you here at Chrysalis! Thanks for stopping by to comment. ღ

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Where did you get that picture....I am laughing so hard I can't read the post? Okay, I will go back and read all 25!!!!

I have seen a protestant wedding where the female waited at the front and the groom came down to her! It was wonderful and so told the story of the church waiting for the Bridegroom.

Great post as always....I would love to be your study buddy!!! Keep it up, it always spurs me on!!!

e-Mom said...

Via Facebook, Tara Greer Mock said...

One of my favorite Bible studies is one called Attending the Bride of Christ by Martha Lawley where she compares the ancient Jewish wedding ceremony with the entire divine romance taking place in Scripture between Christ and His Bride - it is so incredibly beautiful. I highly recommend it! I'm going through it again with a dear friend of mine.

Hi Tara: That sounds like a wonderful study! You're the second person to mention Lawley's book. I WILL look into it, thanks.

Buffy said...

What strikes me about the OT laws around marriage was how they could and were used to favour the man's position. I see Jesus' teaching as being very much directed at addressing this. (Notice he said a man should not put his wife aside except for adultory, he didn't have to say a woman could not put her husband aside.)

e-Mom said...

Buffy: Yes, we live in a far better time in history! Jesus (and Paul)'s teachings revolutionized the treatment of women in the western world. (Compare the Middle East, for example.)

 

Copyright © 2006-2012 C h r y s a l i s ღ. Design by Insight © 2009