Humor: A Deacon's Ordination

Here's a read-aloud story to start your long week-end off with a loud guffaw. (Labour Day, USA & Canada). Gather your family 'round and listen carefully to the essential teaching contained herein!

A Deacon’s Ordination

“Sam, what part of the Bible do you like best?”
“Well, sir, I like the New Testament best, sir.”
“What book in the New Testament?”
“What book, sir?”
“Yes, what book?”
“I think it’s the book of parables, sir.”
“Would you kindly relate one of those parables to this council?”

Poor Sam knew he was up against it, but there was a possibility that the members of the council knew no more about their Bibles than he did. He decided to make a bold attempt, and proceeded as follows:

“Once upon a time a man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell among thieves and the thorns grew up and choked the man and he went on and he didn’t have no money and he met the Queen of Sheba, and she gave that man, sir, a thousand talents of gold and silver and a hundred changes of rainments.

And when he was drivin’ along under a big tree, his hair got caught in a limb and left him a hanging there. Yes, sir. And he hung there many days and nights and the ravens brought him food to eat and water to drink.

And one night while he was hanging there asleep, his wife Delilah, come along and cut his hair off, and he dropped and fell on stony ground and it began to rain and it rained forty days and forty nights.

And he hid himself in a cave. And the man went out into the highways and byways and compelled him to come in.

He went on and come to Jerusalem and he seen Queen Jezebel sitting high up in the window and when she saw him she laughed and he said, “Throw her down out of there,” and they threw her down. And he said, “Throw her down again, “and they threw her down, seventy times seven and the fragments they picked up were twelve baskets full. Now whose wife will she be in the days of judgment?”

There was no one on the council who felt qualified to question the candidate further, and Sam was passed.

Written by H. Eddie Fox

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