Welcome to Marriage Monday!
Show of hands please…
How many of you were raised in Christian homes? Let’s define that. Both of your parents were believers, you were active in church and ministry, and a biblical worldview was upheld and promoted.
OK, how many of you were raised in a home where only one of your parents was a believer, they took you to church, and tried to raise you according to biblical standards.
Now, a show of hands from those of you who were raised in a secular home. You came to Christ through a ministry such as a youth group or a Christian friend. As an adult you’re considered an oddball in your extended family; Thanksgiving and Christmas are usually uncomfortable affairs.
Most of us fall into one of these three categories—or some variation. We were either strongly influenced toward faith in our family, somewhat influenced, or not at all.
The joys or difficulties of upholding the values of a Christian marriage go back to our childhood. Unless they had a conversion experience (or fell away) later in life, the kind of support we experience from our parents today, is no different than it was in our formative years. Along with a host of other in-law issues, the expression of faith in our marriage can create ongoing conflicts.
Q & A
Q. How should we respond to our parents’ well-meaning attempts to offer marriage and parenting advice that's not based on a Christian worldview?
A. The short answer is based on simple good manners—and comes straight from Scripture. We must honor our mother and father (Eph 6:2-3). Thank them for their kindness and concern. However, we can choose to respect the person, and not the message. We can use our spiritual discernment to determine how much of our parents' advice really lines up with God’s Word. One good ol' southerner (USA) summed it up this way: “Takin’ the advice of our elders is a lot like eatin’ fried chicken. Chew up the meat, but spit out the bones!”
Q. What’s the long answer?
A. For the long answer—and the scoop on my family background—
click here.
Choose a Title for Your Post
If you would like to contribute a post for Marriage Monday today, you'll find an introduction to today’s topic, “Blessing Our Parents” here. Snag one of the four title options listed and run with it. You’re welcome to link up any time up until midnight on Wednesday. You can copy the code for one of the new graphics here if you like. Thanks for joining Marriage Monday today!
Related: Let Grandparents Shine at the Holidays by Chrysalis
Photos: StuckinCustoms (Flickr)
Up Next—Bible Study: The Thorn as a Theme in Scripture
We're trying a new photo linky. What do you think?
9 Comments:
I enjoyed this post.
Great post! I grew up in a Christian home, but German grew up in a totally secular home and we find that finding the balance is sometimes a challenge. We have few open challenges to how we parent, but there are plenty of subtle ones that we must navigate.
I love hearing about where you've come from e-Mom. Thanks for making me consider how our parents have affected our marriage. I see I am incredibly blessed.
Love the new linky...
great post!!!! mine is up....we are blessed....
Great linky:)
I must say I almost didn't post this month. I knew I would have to talk about the distant grandfolks topic as it was the most applicable to me but I am also raw on that topic... I tried to keep it cool but it will probably still show through in my post...
It is worse now that they are ill...
But anyhow, we have never been able to live close to my folks and it is a continual struggle in my heart...
I was blessed by this "MM" e-mom!
And encouraged also to work on our relationships....
Yeas i live in this special city of Amsterdam in The Netherlands....
Both my husband and i lived in our birthcountry's untill high-school and left our parents to come to study and live in The Netherlands.....
Guess we where both adventurous and courages....to stay and live far away from our parents and start an family together........
I planned to link-up more on "MM" to meet more awesome sisters and learn and encourage eachother.
Blessings
Bernice
Dave and I have lived away from our parents our entire married years and so there wasn't a lot of conflict or even opportunity for conflict. Pop (my step dad and Patriarch) has a lot of convictions that we don't adhere to. For instance, we agree that loyalty, commitment and duty are important but he feels that as a parent he should FIX everything. If someone needs money, he gives it and so on. Dave and I have had situations where we refused to bail our kids out for fear that they wouldn't learn anything from it. With our daughter, when she was going through rebellion in 2001 and found herself in debt and pregnant, rather than giving her money, we gave her a place to live so she could save money to fix her own problems. Currently we have another daughter in rebellion and my Mom shared that he doesn't agree with the way we're handling things. I think he really respects Dave and therefore has not said anything to us directly.
I respect the both of them, they have a lifetime of experience and wisdom and we'd be foolish not to listen to some of what they have to offer.
Connie
and yes my "Mutti" is from Germany, Sudentland (now the Czech Republic). She was actually born in Buenos Aries, Argentina in 1938. (My grandparents moved there in 1928). They sailed back to Germany in 1939 just in time for Hitler to invade Poland and begin WW2. They lost everything after the war and were on the last train that relocated refugees to West Germany. The remainder of our family was sent to what would become East Germany, behind the Iron Curtain. Talk about Divine Intervention!
Connie
Sweet Marriage Monday sisters: I have responded to all of you by email, or on your blog post. Thanks so much for sharing your lives... both your joys and struggles. See you next month, if not before! ღ
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