Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. (Prov 22:6 NLT)
Twos to Teens—Mom Must be Stronger
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Dear Sister,
In order to prevail in the conflicts with my strong-willed teen, I knew I had to be the victor many years before. Slogging through the trenches of her toddlerhood were a challenge; my two year-old tried to exert her will in some surprising ways. However, I did my best to win every single battle.
If you’re currently raising pre-schoolers, it's likely that you’re facing similar confrontations. The tug-of-war you’re dealing with today is only a shadow of the quarrels that will come when the subject is borrowing the family vehicle. It’s much better not to let your child have her way today, while she’s still teachable and riding in the car seat.
A 10-Point Strategy
Here are ten encouraging “power-points” from Pat Hershey Owen, author of The Idea Book for Mothers.• To insure instilling the habit of obedience in toddlers, you must be prepared to back up each of your commands with the same urgency you would exert if it were a case of life or death.
• For the sake of the child’s future well-being, you must never allow a single command of yours to go unheeded without immediate positive correction.
• Young children have a very short attention span, and they must learn to respond to your commands immediately.
• For this reason you should never give your toddler an order unless you expect—and receive—immediate obedience.
• A child who early learns instant obedience in small things seldom disobeys in larger things.
• Never leave your child with the slightest impression that you will accept anything less than complete obedience.
• Training in obedience should begin as soon as the child reaches for things.
• Best results can be obtained by using a positive approach. For example, when your baby reaches for one of your breakables, say—kindly but firmly—“No, you may not have this. Let’s play with the pretty blue ball.”
• Then proceed to help the child follow your suggestion.
• Don’t wait until the child obeys before showing your pleasure. Instead begin your praise as soon as the child shows signs of beginning to obey with something like, “That’s right, what a good girl!”
• Such a friendly attitude on your part will influence your child to obey for two reasons: first because he wants to please you, and second, because he likes being noticed.
• Usually when a very young child exhibits inappropriate behavior it’s because he believes that is the only way he can receive the attention he craves.
Related: “Seen But Not Heard?”
“Whatever happened to being seen but not heard? …There has been a massive shift in Western culture away from adult authority and toward the ‘wise child.’ All around us are signs that authority and wisdom are now to be recognized in the young, rather than the old. This is nothing less than a reversal of what previous generations had believed and assumed.”
—Dr. Albert Mohler. More here…
I’m sharing these things because I ♥ you.
Affectionately,
e-Mom
P.S. Every week, a group of generous blogging Moms gather at We Are THAT Family to share their homemaking tips. Please consider joining us for Works-for-Me-Wednesday. Photos: barnabywasson, SouleMama, & Biepmiep (Flickr)
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8 Comments:
Beautiful pictures shared to go along with this post. this was awesome. I would love to share this with my daycare moms. Fantastic and wise advice...
My husband and I spent much time deep in the toddlerhood trenches. Our daughter threw terrible tantrums and started them before her first birthday. She was challenging to put it mildly. We worked hard to cultivate obedience early on, the teenage years are difficult enough maintaining parental authority, I can't imagine trying to raise teenagers without a foundation of obedience.
When they learn to obey at an early stage, they would really learn the lessons by heart. Thanks for you wisdom.
Great post!! I used to teach parenting classes at a crisis pregnancy center and I often (based on experience with my own 2 strong willed daughters..the youngest more so than the oldest) shared the differences between direct obedience vs. cooperation. Cooperation is the ultimate goal whereas when they are very young, direct obedience is the goal....hard to explain here but....immediate obedience to parents is important because later, overall cooperation is best. examples would be: "pick up your blocks now" at age 2 becomes "keep your room neat" (and rest of house) by age 8. We want to be careful of just giving out commands.....our children are not dogs but people. I like wording the positive right after the negative as children hear the last thing usually. Like "no running in the house; please walk." Again, a direct command when little with the expectation that they will cooperate in the house rules as they get older!
Thanks for sharing this!
great post! and so true. i'm still in the toddler trenches! and how many times i've done the wrong thing! lol
Some days, in my muddy toddler trench, it feels like everything is a battle I must win. Thanks for the reminder that this is only a season of life...and that if I stick to my guns now, the pay off will be worth it.
So true! I have found with my children that most of the intense disciplining can be over by age 3 if we've been consistent and thorough before that!
Angela, April, Gemini, Faith, Amydeanne, Bobbi, and Bonni: Check your email inbox for a direct reply to your remarks. I Heart you!
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