Relationships: Marriage Monday

He Speaks: My Revealing Interview With e-Dad

Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

Thanks for joining us at Chrysalis today, e-Dad! It's a rare treat to have you here. I have five easy questions for you. Let's get started...

1. Describe your ideal Christmas.

Since I have lived in the Great Northwest all of my life,
I am well seasoned with the incessant rain that accompanies Christmas. Grey sky and rain doesn't add much cheer! I much prefer a snow break, such as going to Sun Valley for skiing, or a sun break such as going to the Grand Canyon with all it's glory. I'd welcome a trip to glorious Redwoods in northern California too, with all of the huge trees and ocean. There would be a cabin big enough for us and our (now grown) kids and lots of firewood, music, and cheer.

2. How do your think our expectations differ at Christmas?

I know that you very much enjoy the tree, design, and decoration of our home for Christmas. You also love having family over for festivities (although it is a bit of work to accomplish all of that.) I'm happy to let you do it too!

However, I prefer the focus to be on the experience, with family and friends, and I am not much bothered if the angels hanging from the chandelier are a little off center. I can relax a little more than you, since everyone is well aware that I only recognize brown for a color; can only boil an egg for cooking; and can't carry a tune in a bucket. The pressure is off. Heh heh. (I do tend to get them laughing though.)

3. Share your thoughts about exchanging gifts.

Gifts are an interesting representation of our perspective of our relationships to others. We give (usually) because we care for the other person or revere them. When gift giving is a matter of "expectation" the freedom and generosity of the giver is diminished. When all gifts are "store bought," it again states that we are fulfilling what is "expected" of us or we are too busy or lazy to otherwise bless the givee.

I still remember the hand-mixed mocha package a missionary friend with YWAM in Holland gave me 35 years ago. I don't still have it of course, but it was delicious to drink and I was able to share it with others. It was the essence of simplicity and personal touch. I also particularly like "blind gift exchanges" because they can be so funny and surprising. For you of course, I know what you'd like, and we save for those things. I truly enjoy your reaction when we are finally able to get it for you.

4. Some years you're just not into Christmas.
Can you explain why?

Being raised in a very secular home, Christmas represented the time of year when all of the previous disappointments and material needs were to be whisked away in one magical day of getting everything I had ever wanted. Of course, that fantasy never led to reality. The very self serving focus of "getting" meant that my attention wasn't on others but on self.

When I became a Christian, I learned the meaning of Christmas and I try to keep Jesus as the purpose behind the celebrations. It saddens me when I encounter so many people who have secularized Christmas and who focus on the latest fashion or big screen TV or other diversion. I stay away from the malls for reasons like that. The Santa Clauses and the materialism can also bring back those memories of my early childhood experiences when Santa was "god."

5. How do you focus on the deeper meaning of Christ's birth at Christmas?

I truly enjoy the historical hymns and Christmas songs/CDs that we play. They tell the story of what Christmas is all about. We, of course, have always focused our Christmas around Christ, and enjoy His presence throughout the year. Christmas musicals at church, The Revels (historical theatre with music and dance) having family around (not to mention Christmas dinner) are all parts of my reminder of what a Great God we serve. Merry Christmas!

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Photos: e-Dad in Sun Valley, ID. e-Mom & e-Dad at the Grand Canyon, AZ. Angel: stephendl2 (Flickr)