How Did This Happen So Quickly?
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“Life for women was very different 50 years ago, very, very different. Almost everyone got married. The average age for getting married was 20 years old for girls and 22 years old for men” says author and speaker Mary Kassian. “This was the world that I was born into and that wasn’t very long ago.”
Posted by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter
“Life for women was very different 50 years ago, very, very different. Almost everyone got married. The average age for getting married was 20 years old for girls and 22 years old for men” says author and speaker Mary Kassian. “This was the world that I was born into and that wasn’t very long ago.”
Kassian also notes that . . .
• Once married, a woman could normally count on her husband to financially support her and the family.• The divorce rate was very low and divorced people were stigmatized.
• Chastity and virginity before marriage were considered virtues.
• Sex outside of marriage was considered immoral and shameful.
• Few people lived common-law because it carried the stigma of living in sin.
• Having a child outside of wedlock was absolutely taboo. Young women were warned against unwed pregnancy.
• Only 30 percent of women were employed outside the home in 1960. Now 77 percent of all mothers with school age children (6-17) work.
• There was no birth-control pill.
• Abortion was illegal and considered unethical.
• Pornography, rape, homosexuality, sexual perversion, sexual addiction, and sexually transmitted diseases were uncommon and rarely encountered.
• Married men assumed that it was their responsibility to protect, provide and care for their families.
TV Sitcoms Trace the Changes
Kassian shows how the speed and magnitude with which all this has been deconstructed is utterly mind-boggling. As a (Boomer) peer of Kassian’s, I completely agree. In the introduction to her speech given at True Woman ’08 conference, Kassian profiles several female cultural icons from popular TV sitcoms in recent decades. Beginning with June Cleaver, a traditional Mom in the “Leave it to Beaver” series in the 1950s, she shows how women like Mary Tyler Moore (1970s), Murphy Brown (1980s), and Ellen (1990s) progressively became more self-serving, self-righteous, neurotic, narcissistic, superficial, and adulterous.
Kassian says the main character in the most recent series, Sex in the City epitomizes these values, and sums up her attitude with this advice for women: “The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.”
“The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.”
—Sex in the City
Kassian continues: “So in a few short decades in the span of my lifetime, the ideal of a happy, fulfilled woman has gone from one who serves and exalts her children, her husband, and her community to one who serves and exalts herself and has a very different type of commitment, very different type of idea towards men and women.
This begs the question, how did this all happen? How did it all happen?”
Let's Understand Our Times
Click here for the answers Kassian offered during her address at last year’s True Woman ’08 conference. In her speech, she traces the rise of feminism as a distinct worldview with its own thoughts, ideologies, and values. She warns that whether we would admit it or not, and whether we know it or not, all of us have been profoundly affected by feminist philosophy.
Kassian wants all Christian women to “understand the times” (1 Chron 12:32) so they would know what to do, and how to live Christ-like lives of self-sacrifice. Don’t miss this important speech!Join the True Woman Movement. Join the Carnival of Family Life.
1. Book Review: Radical Womanhood by Carolyn McCulley.
2. Author Tricia Goyer in the Spotlight: Generation NeXt Marriage
3. Meet the Millenials: Who Are They? How Do We Reach Them?
A Quick Poll
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11 Comments:
While feminism represents a shift in thinking, it is not the culprit, nor did it develop in a vacuum. Neither is mainstream culture necessarily indicative of an entire society's thinking.
Not all married, stay-at-home women before the 60s honored their status, as this status alone does not guarantee virtue, nor protect a woman from selfishness, self-righteousness, neurosis, narcissism, superficiality, or adultery. It was not a social outrage for a man to have a mistress, as so many in unsatisfactory marriages did, to avoid the stigma of divorce. Long before the Pill, there were condoms and other methods, as there was also homosexuality, sexual perversion, etc., these were just not as known because they stayed under the radar. (And therefore were likely not as widespread, I'll grant.) What we're seeing, now that mainstream opinion on sexual mores has changed, is more junk coming out of the closet.
What the feminist movement did was level the playing field and even up sexual mores between the sexes, making it "ok" for women to be as scandalous as men! Yet not all that the feminist movement was about, or accomplished, was ungodly. Every woman today is enjoying legitimate benefits of this movement, even as many also "enjoy" its other dubious "benefits."
This is an interesting speech. I agree with a lot of it but not with all of it. My mother and grandmother have told me a lot about life from the 1920s onwards and sex before marriage and homosexuality definitely existed, even though society officially took a negative view of these activities. Many children were born out of wedlock, even thought this was considered shameful. My mother was a school teacher and in the 1950s and 1960s she would have children in the class who believed their grandmother was their mother...but as their teacher she was told the truth. These things were covered up. The difference is that now no one is ashamed. As for STDs being uncommon, they were one of the main causes of death in Victorian Britain.
I do think it's quite true however that men were expected to support their families and most married women were not pushed into going out to work outside the home.
A major difference (as the article says) is how the media portrays issues such as promiscuity. It's one thing to admit these things exist, quite another to portray them as an enlightened lifestyle choice.
Bonnie: Thanks for your remarks, and for taking the time to comment.
Christian women (in every generation) have the responsibility to be "salt and light" in the culture. I agree that we should applaud the benefits that liberal feminism has brought to our lives today.
However, we must also stand firmly against the negative arguments that feminist thought has perpetuated in the last 100+ years. (Read Radical Womanhood by Carolyn McCulley for a thorough history of the feminist movement in the last century.)
We must also find a way to forgive those fathers, husbands, male employers etc. who have hurt and abused us.
Whether it's in forgiveness or obedience, surrendering in faith to the authority of Scripture--as difficult and challenging as that is--often brings personal suffering.
Nevertheless, we must live, speak, and teach the Truth: God's design for differing but complementary roles between the sexes is ultimately for our personal and societal good.
God bless you.
e-Mom :~D
Anonymous said...:
I also wanted to say how much I loved reading the article on Feminism...I clicked on the Click here and read the whole thing and it is an amazing speech!
Buffy: Certainly what your mother and grandmother have told you about "low life" (can I use that term?) in the 20s and beyond is true.
Nevertheless, the societal bias against pre-marital sex and homosexuality acted as a strong deterrent to those activities. No, social mores didn't prevent it, but they kept a lid on promiscuous behavior much like keeping the doors locked on your house keeps most people out. If someone really wants to break in, they can break a window or knock down a door. Civil laws function the same way. They don't stop all crime, but they do limit it.
I believe Mary Kassian is not arguing that these things didn't exist before, but rather that feminist thought has contributed to the rise, acceptance, and "normalizing" of selfish and immoral behavior, as reflected over the decades in popular TV sitcoms.
I agree with your other points. :~D
I appreciate you stopping by today my friend!
Blessings, e-Mom
Anonymous: Thanks for stopping by. I agree, Mary Kassian did give an amazing speech! :~D
Fair point :)
I also wanted to particularly thank you for the comment you left on my chapter and worse post re the OT.
I believe the difference between the generations is primarily rooted in ideals. Even if the same vices existed in hearts in the 20's and 30's as they do today, they were not embraced - quite the opposite. Yes, homosexuality, adultery and the like still happened - it did in the Old Testament, too! The difference lies in the fact that these things were not idealized and mainstream.
My personal belief is that women of my generation (in general) have trapped themselves into a lifestyle that requires them to be all things to all people at all times (I hate the term Supermom). I, and many, many others, work full time outside the home, work full time inside the home and work hard at being a good wife and mother. Do I feel superior - no. Do I feel fulfilled - not always. Most of the time I just feel tired :) But, you know what, even stay at home moms feel the pressure to do it all. Somewhere we lost the precious simple truth that we are enough. God made us enough. We simply need to hold ourselves to His standards and not the worlds.
April: You hit the nail on the head with this... The difference lies in the fact that these things were not idealized and mainstream.
I couldn't agree more with you here: My personal belief is that women of my generation (in general) have trapped themselves into a lifestyle that requires them to be all things to all people at all times (I hate the term Supermom).
I didn't realize you worked full time. When do you find time to blog???
Thanks for your thoughtful remarks. And, yes, we are enough in Christ.
Bless you!
Hugs, e-Mom
Buffy: Thanks for acknowledging my comment on your post, "Chapter and Worse." Biblical "herem" (ethnic cleansing) is a difficult topic and I plan to take it up here in a post in the future. :~D
Great, I can't wait to read it!
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