Swallowed By a Whale
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
A Portrait of God
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
Class Photos
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
God is Watching
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the ot her end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the ot her end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Via Barbara Curtis at Mommy Life.
Photos: Special Sites of Israel, Annabel B (Flickr)
Quick! Quote a funny line from your child...Head over to Friday Funnies at Homesteader's Heart for more good clean jokes.
10 Comments:
Oh, e-Mom, it's good to have you back!
heeheehee....I love talking to kids.
And yes, welcome back!
Oh that is too funny! I will have to shaer those with my family! Have a great weekend my friend!
LOL How funny. I will head to the cookies now.
How funny is that!!!!
Have a Lovely Weekend!
Hee! Hee! Hee! Loved them!
Hugs.
Kim
Giggle... giggle... Loved these. You always make me smile. Sending you a great big hug....
Glad to have your back too!!
kids are the BEST! "a child shall lead them...." i keep a little journal to hold all shilohs sweet sayings...it is impossible to keep it up to date!!!!
the other day she had a bag of candy and my husband asked her, "can i have one shiloh?" she nodded her head immediately and reached in her bag and took out THE BIGGEST CANDY and gave it to him.
my husband was amazed! "shiloh! why did you give me your biggest candy?" she just smiled sweetly and said, "oh daddy...i just wanted to bless you..."
:) and she did....
Hey E-mom,
So nice to see you back here in blogville.
These jokes were all just precious.
Children, they are just so honest, so wonderful.
Hope you have a blessed weekend♥
My kids laughed at these!!! They enjoyed it with me. I wish I had a quick quote cuz I know they say stuff all the time!!! I need to keep it in a book.
Much love,
Angela
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