Thursday, February 12, 2009

Marriage: What Makes Women Happy?

Top Seven Predictors
(In order of importance)

1. A husband’s emotional engagement.

Women who are married to men who make an effort to listen to them, who express affection and appreciation on a regular basis, and who share quality time with them on a regular basis (date nights, frequent conversations focusing on mutual interests and one another) are much happier in their marriages than women who do not have emotionally-engaged husbands.

2. Fairness.

Women who think that housework (and other family responsibilities) are divided fairly are significantly happier than women who think that their husband does not do his fair share. Note, however, that most wives do not equate fairness with a 50-50 model of equality. Only 30% of wives in this study think their marriage is unfair, even though the vast majority of wives do the bulk of childcare and housework. Why is this? More is here...


3. A bread-winning husband.

American wives, even wives who hold more feminist views about working women and the division of household tasks, are typically happier when their husband earns 68% or more of the household income. Husbands who are successful breadwinners probably give their wives the opportunity to make choices about work and family—e.g., working part-time, staying home, or pursuing a meaningful but not particularly remunerative job—that allow them to best respond to their own needs, and the needs of their children.


4. A commitment to marriage.

Wives who share a strong commitment to the norm of lifelong marriage with their husband—e.g., who both believe that even unhappily married couples should stay together for the sake of their children—are more likely to have a happy marriage than couples who do not share this commitment to marriage. More is here...


5. Staying at home.

Wives who stay at home tend to be happier in their marriages than wives who work outside the home. This is particularly true for women who have children in the home. Women often find it difficult to juggle kids, a career, and a marriage all at the same time. In fact, the study finds that working women are less likely to spend quality time with their husbands. They are also more likely to report that the division of housework is unfair. So time pressures and role overload help to explain why working wives are typically less happy in their marriages.


6. Shared religious attendance.

Wives who attend church or some other worship service with their husbands tend to be happier than wives who do not share religious attendance with their husbands. Religious attendance may give wives a sense that God is present in their marriage, a sense that their husband seeks to please them by attending church with them, and/or access to other married couples who value marriage and can provide them with guidance and moral support for their marriages.


7. Traditional gender attitudes.

Wives who hold more traditional gender attitudes—e.g., who believe that wives should focus more on nurturing/homemaking and husbands should focus more on breadwinning—are happier than wives who hold more feminist attitudes. More is here...

The excerpts above are from a study by W. Bradford Wilcox and Steven Nock. Read the full article to discover the answers to the following questions:


• Does this study apply to more feminist-minded women?
• Does this study apply to less-educated women?
• Does this study apply to every married woman?
• Are wives likely to be happier if they have more of these predictors?

Related: Valentine's Day

2. The Point System by Tracy at My Cup Runneth Over

3. "My Husband Rocks" (Awesome T-Shirts) by Andrea at Embracing Him

Does anything in this study surprise you?

Photos: aussiegall, PETE, & sparktography (Flickr)


A Stone Gatherer said...

No it really doesn't surprise me! To me all that is just commen sense. I agree with all of them! Thanks for posting this article! Happy Valentines day!

Andrea said...

Every one of those things makes me happy and most don't surprise me.

However, I am sometimes still surprised by how happy I am as a stay at home mom/homemaker. Never in a gazillion years is this what I thought I'd be doing but God apparently had different plans.

I'm glad I've submitted to His will.

Another awesome post my friend! I'll be sharing it with hubby.

Tami Boesiger said...

To be honest, I am VERY surprised by these findings. I wouldn't be surprised at all if these findings came from a group of Christian women, but the public at large? Really? Maybe I heard too many feminist messages growing up. It's not that I don't think these things are important. It just seems like the authors of the study were looking for these answers so they got them. I can see how this article stirred up some controversy. It goes against what postmodern women are taught--You can have it all.

As a math major I understand how statistics can be bent to serve your purposes. I went over to the full article and found the actual percentages listed somewhat confusing.

Please understand me though, e-Mom. I'm not disagreeing with the findings. I just find it surprising they were found with a large sampling of people (wait, I don't remember seeing how many were surveyed). I should be ecstatic about this, but instead I'm skeptical.

Hmmm. . .what does that say about me?

Mary Moss said...

Very interesting stuff. I'm not surprised for the most part.

Definitely food for thought. I'm sure you've ministered to many with this post:-)

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

That is an interesting list. Neat study for sure!
Much love,

Lori said...

This was great! Thanks for sharing, Emom.

e-Mom said...

A Stone Gatherer: Amen! Happy V. Day to you too.

Andrea: I'm glad I've submitted to His will. Wonderful! I hope your husband enjoys this post. :~D

Tami: Thanks for your thoughts. The findings really are surprising, aren't they?

Mary Moses: Thanks for stopping by! :~D

Angela: Love you!

Lori: So nice to see you here. :~D

Faith said...

not much surprises me although from the Christian women in my circle of friends, the ones who seem happiest are the ones who do something outside the home whether it is a ministry at church or a part time career. funny. but NY-ers are different anyways! :)

e-Mom said...

Faith: Nothing wrong with having activities outside our home. We love New Yorkers, BTW. :~D

Buffy said...

Interesting findings. The only one that surprised me a little bit was number 7. I suppose, like Tami, I am a product of the generally accepted modern doctrine that says traditional gender attitudes by no means guarantee marital success.

I expect the survey was right when it said that women who like traditional roles are going to have lower expectations in certain areas than women who are very feminist and expect a man to have qualities that don't come naturally to a lot of men.

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