Families at the Dinner Table
Study after study emphasizes the same message. Family interaction is critical to the well-being of children. Teenagers may be wearing bigger shoes than their younger siblings, but they still need Mom and Dad to engage them in meaningful conversation. Researchers have found that adolescents whose parents ate dinner with them five times per week or more were least likely to be on drugs, to be depressed, or to be in trouble with the law. They were more likely to be doing well in school and surrounded by a supportive circle of friends.
Of this research, Dr. James Dobson says, "Surprisingly, the benefit was seen even for families that didn't eat together at home. Those who met at fast-food restaurants had the same result. By contrast, the more poorly adjusted teens ate with their parents only three evenings per week or less.
What do these findings mean? Is there something magic about sitting down together over a meal? No, and those parents who interpret the conclusions that way will be disappointed... The research shows that adolescents do far better in school and in life when their parents are involved with them, when they have time for them, and specifically, when they get together almost every day for conversation and interaction.
Study after study has emphasized the same message. Families are critically important to the well-being of children."
This excerpt has been quoted from Dr. James Dobson's book, Coming Home: Timeless Wisdom for Families via Focus on the Family Magazine.
Study after study emphasizes the same message. Family interaction is critical to the well-being of children. Teenagers may be wearing bigger shoes than their younger siblings, but they still need Mom and Dad to engage them in meaningful conversation. Researchers have found that adolescents whose parents ate dinner with them five times per week or more were least likely to be on drugs, to be depressed, or to be in trouble with the law. They were more likely to be doing well in school and surrounded by a supportive circle of friends.
Of this research, Dr. James Dobson says, "Surprisingly, the benefit was seen even for families that didn't eat together at home. Those who met at fast-food restaurants had the same result. By contrast, the more poorly adjusted teens ate with their parents only three evenings per week or less.
What do these findings mean? Is there something magic about sitting down together over a meal? No, and those parents who interpret the conclusions that way will be disappointed... The research shows that adolescents do far better in school and in life when their parents are involved with them, when they have time for them, and specifically, when they get together almost every day for conversation and interaction.
Study after study has emphasized the same message. Families are critically important to the well-being of children."
This excerpt has been quoted from Dr. James Dobson's book, Coming Home: Timeless Wisdom for Families via Focus on the Family Magazine.
Choosing A College
Tip of the bonnet to Faith at Gold in the Clouds for requesting a post about the teen years. She also said, "I would love to see something about learning how to guide teens into making good decisions regarding their college choice."
Please share your advice here in the comment box.
Do you plan special times to be withyour teen(s)?
Photos: PatrickTPower & Adam Logan (Flickr)
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16 Comments:
well, i don't have any teens yet, so no.. but family meal time is important for me... we are doing that and will continue to do so for the years to come!
I was so encouraged by this post. As you know I have a teen daughter. Today we enjoy such a close relationship. I pray it stays that way. I make every effort to engage her and be part of her life.... and, its a blast. Hugs e-Mom, Love you tons. Lynn
It can be very challenging with kids in high school, but we try to work around their busy schedules as much as possible. My husband will even come home from work early so we can eat together before the kids have a evening rehearsal or something if necessary. There are times we've claimed a few nights as off limits for other dinner plans. It is important. We may not have lots of time or in depth conversations, but sitting down together cements the feeling of belonging at the very least.
Our baby is a teen at college now... but when all 3 were growing up we always had 6 o'clock dinner together. As they got into high school sports, it didn't always happen but no one ever had to ask what time dinner was. They used to beg to be "normal" like other families and eat whatever, whenever. Of course now, looking back, they appreciate it. It makes a huge difference. I'm convinced.
Great ideas for the coming years. We have 0 outside activities at the moment, besides school, so I guard our family time very carefully. These early years are critical.
We always have a rule about eating dinner together. sometimes (rarely these days!!) it is in a restaurant but I am really big on cooking dinner and having everyone at the table. Currently, when my youngest daughter has the HizKidz Praise ministry shows going on, we all eat at different times one night a week. And it's just the girls and I one nite due to my hubby needing to get to the youth center for his weekly small group leadership role. but the other 5 nties we are together. it is so important! For us, we have always done mommy-daughter and daddy-daughter dates and now that the oldest is a teen we try to keep that going. she likes it and we love spending time with her and listening to her "dramas". I firmly agree with what Dr Dobson has said. And in my family we like to say "The family that plays and prays together, stays together". Thanks for doing a post on teens!
i have a few years before the teen years....but i hope and i pray for a strong connection and open conversation and that i might be an encouragement as they find their way through life.
My children (especially my 6 yr old daughter) seems to like eating together as a family at the dinner table. She pretty much smiles from ear to ear everytime. Great Post!! Have a bless weekend!!
I have to admit that dinner is one of my greatest challenges as a homeschoolmom. Between my husband working late and my childrens' schedules, it is very hard to sit down to a meal together. My goal is to eat together three times a week. But when we do sit down, I try to keep the conversation on the lighter side. It is important to me to enjoy dinner as a family. We can always have more serious conversations at a different time, but for dinner I reserve it for food and laughter.
Amydeanne: Excellent!
Lynn: Daughters are such a treasure. I know you'll enjoy yours for years to come. :~D
TamiB: You have a wonderful plan in place. This is awesome: My husband will even come home from work early so we can eat together before the kids have a evening rehearsal or something if necessary.
Beverlu: So nice of you to stop by!
Jennifer: The early years AND the later years are critical. Sounds like you have meal times in hand.
Faith: You're an exemplary family. This is really true: "The family that plays and prays together, stays together". I'm glad you enjoyed this post. *Grin*
Roo: Yes, you do have a few years to go before your little ones hit their teens!
Toia: Thanks for stopping by today. :~D
Tonya: I like this thought: We can always have more serious conversations at a different time, but for dinner I reserve it for food and laughter. Thanks for visiting today. :~D
I always ate with my parents so long as I lived at home. 6 days sitting round the table and on Sunday nights in front of the television for a treat (but all watching the same programme).
It's sad how many families do not eat together now or talk over dinner. I have seen a couple of experiments where family relations improved when sitting down together once a day was introduced.
Well, my boys that still live at home are not teens yet, but we eat all of our meals together whenever possible, whether that's just me and the boys (when my husband is working the evening shift) or all four of us. We've always inherently known that eating together was/is a good thing; now you've given proof. Hopefully we're able to keep up with the pattern as the boys get older.
Buffy: It sounds like your growing up years with your family were ideal! :~D
Kimmy: It's so nice to have you here! I'm glad you've established a good pattern with your boys. Blessings to you my friend.
This has become my mantra in my job at church! Getting Parents to realize that their role is the most important role in their childs life, whether the child realizes it or not. The home is where the bulk of the spiritual nuture and growth comes from. If parents never spend time with their children discussing life and faith the children will never understand the importance of it!
E-Mom,
This is a great post! We have always eaten our meals together. Things have changed a bit with my two older daughters in college. One is living in an apartment near the campus and we only see her on Sundays. She comes home with us and we always have a special meal together. Our other daughter still lives at home and computes to school with my husband. They both come in late many nights because of their respective schedules, but the time that they get to spend together has been very important for transitioning into college and navigating through the challenges they face. Both girls are in a secular, technical school. One is an Aeronautical/Mechanical engineering student and the other is an Information Technologies student.
We have homeschooled all of our children from K-12, so we have much time for conversing and sharing throughout the day.
I think one of the most important things that my children that are still at home, need (there are 4) is to have fun with me. We can be a little silly and enjoy laughter together.
I have been working at making our home a "haven" and my family is really appreciating it!
A Stone Gatherer: You're absolutely right on this--The home is where the bulk of the spiritual nuture and growth comes from.
Homemanager: Wow, you seem to have it all figured out. Good job, Mom. Thanks for stopping by, and for leaving a comment today. Blessings!
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