Human Attitudes Are Like 3 Trees
When I’m shopping for produce at the grocery store, I look for golden netting on ripe cantaloupes, sniff the navels of fresh oranges, and gently squeeze avocados to test for ripeness. I use all of my senses to choose the best produce for my family.
Tree #1: Fruit of the Spirit
Our attitudes are very similar. We can tell if there’s unresolved hidden anger in our lives by examining the fruit. For instance, when we’re at peace with God and the world, we're like a healthy tree producing the fragrant
Fruit of the Spirit. We exhibit:
• love
• joy
• peace
• patience
• kindness
• goodness
• faithfulness
• meekness
• self-control
• good works
• forgiveness
• acceptance
• humility
• wisdom
• servant’s heart
• contentment
• encouragement
• happiness
• wisdom
• obedience
• caring
• cheerfulness
• love of the Bible
• prayerfulness
• love of truth
• strong faith
• hopefulness
• sweetness
• integrity
• faithfulness
Identifying Our Anger
Conversely, if there’s unresolved hidden anger in our lives, the "deeds of the flesh" will be evident. Like two species of fruit trees, there are two types of anger which yield different kinds of attitudes and behavior: expressed anger and suppressed anger.
When I’m shopping for produce at the grocery store, I look for golden netting on ripe cantaloupes, sniff the navels of fresh oranges, and gently squeeze avocados to test for ripeness. I use all of my senses to choose the best produce for my family.
Tree #1: Fruit of the Spirit
Our attitudes are very similar. We can tell if there’s unresolved hidden anger in our lives by examining the fruit. For instance, when we’re at peace with God and the world, we're like a healthy tree producing the fragrant
Fruit of the Spirit. We exhibit:
• love• joy
• peace
• patience
• kindness
• goodness
• faithfulness
• meekness
• self-control
• good works
• forgiveness
• acceptance
• humility
• wisdom
• servant’s heart
• contentment
• encouragement
• happiness
• wisdom
• obedience
• caring
• cheerfulness
• love of the Bible
• prayerfulness
• love of truth
• strong faith
• hopefulness
• sweetness
• integrity
• faithfulness
Identifying Our Anger
Conversely, if there’s unresolved hidden anger in our lives, the "deeds of the flesh" will be evident. Like two species of fruit trees, there are two types of anger which yield different kinds of attitudes and behavior: expressed anger and suppressed anger.
Tree # 2: Expressed Anger
• hatred • temper
• rage
• yelling
• blaming
• controlling
• prejudiced
• condemning
• critical spirit
• child abuse
• aggressiveness
• destructiveness
• violence
• murder
• fear
• pride
• back biting
• jealousy
• slander
• revenge
• sexual abuse
• rape
• rebellion
• harshness
• pushiness
• illnesses
• high blood pressure
• judgmentalism
• irritability
Tree # 3: Suppressed Anger
• fears• headaches
• self-hatred
• depression
• suicidal thoughts
• self-pity
• withdrawl
• unworthiness
• nervousness
• inferiority
• anxiety
• phobias
• ineffectiveness
• failure
• defensiveness
• hopelessness
• alcoholism
• drug abuse
• migraines
• sexual dysfunction
• eating disorders
• obesity
• arthritis
• colitis
• cancer
• ulcers
• memory blanks
(I’m indebted to Don & Katie Fortune at Heart to Heart International Ministries and their "Dealing With Anger" counseling materials for the information above.)
How to Deal With Our Anger
The Bible teaches that as human beings we all sin. The good news is that as believers in Jesus Christ, we are forgiven and accepted by God.Unfortunately, as human beings we are also sinned against. Scripture commands us to forgive those who have harmed us, just as God has graciously forgiven us.
Most of us know that forgiveness is very difficult. True forgiveness for deep injuries always involves grief and mourning. However, with the help of a supportive counselor or friend, it is possible to move through the process and find healing.
For instance, after openly acknowledging the offense, we can then choose to suffer and feel the injury. As we allow the painful emotions to wash over us, in time we release our anger, and we experience forgiveness toward our offender(s). (See Matt 5:4)
Related: Spiritual Growth: The Forgiving Self
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
(Matt 16:14-15 NIV)
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Which of the 3 trees are you feeling most like today?Photos: zesmerelda, cobalt123, preecoford, cobalt123, emdot (Flickr)
17 Comments:
Excellent post as always---full with good thoughts
This is excellent!
Thankfully I can say I am most like #1 although before counseling I was most like #2 at times throughout my early 30's. I thank God for Christian counselors, for His mercy and grace and for the act of forgiveness....
thank you so much for the new award. I have been unattached for the last week or so keeping myself and Corban busy trying not to think about daddy being gone. Thank you for thinking of me and I am hopeing to post again soon.
Oh my, I am totally tree #3, suppressed anger. When I read through the list of "attributes", it really hit me. I suppress my anger because I don't trust what will happen if I express it. I know God sent me to this post, my counselor and I just agreed on Tuesday that my anger needs to come out. Sorry, you didn't need to hear my whole long story. I am just amazed at how good God is once again to show His love through a post.
Thanks,
Sheryl
Such a thought-provoking post, as usual...
Unfortunately, even at this time of my life I still am very much tree #3...but hopefully, I do have some of #1 in my life! Glad the Lord isn't finished with me yet!
Becoming Me: Thank you. :~d
Faith: Thanks for openly sharing a wee part of your story of finding forgiveness.
Wendy: You're welcome! I'm glad you were able to pick up your award today. :~D
Sheryl: Amen, sister. Thanks for stopping by today. It's so nice to meet you.
Tammy: Well said: God isn't finished with me yet!!!
Okay... this is like the FORTH time I've read a post recently on bitterness, unforgiveness, and/or/anger. My toes are starting to hurt REALLY bad! (Hehe)
There are a handful of people that have hurt me DEEPLY. The kind of hurt that ONLY GOD can heal. One of them are a couple of friends we had through Brent's ENTIRE illness. In fact, we BONDED THROUGH his illness. They were here the first day - the day we came home FOREVER without him (at least as far as earthly time goes). They spent the first week with us... and after that.. POOF! They're gone. NOTHING. I wondered how they could leave us when we needed them MOST? Yes, they'd SAY they missed us when we crossed paths... but they seemed to have removed themselves from our lives forever. It was like we lost a whole other family when we lost Brent.
Okay... I'm going to go and pray now..... I KNOW I've got to let it go whether the relationship with this couple is EVER restored or not.
THANKS for letting GOD use you to bring some unresolved anger to the surface. (LOVE YOU!)
Thanks for presenting this info. I have some of every tree. How I would love to only bear the good fruit. A work in progress, something I pray about/contend for daily. Blessings!
Excellent post - yet again!
At this season in life - unfortunately I do see some of each tree in me - I wish it was only Tree #1 but for that to happen I would need to be in a Coma right now lol
Along with Tonya I am dealing with some DEEP hurts and trying to gain victory in these areas. I know that I am going through this so that God can refine me more and more, so with that said I am anxious to not fail this test.
Love never fails - is the word that keeps resounding in my mind right now. My love as I offer it will NEVER fail. The people to whom I offer it may reject it - but the Love offered never fails, because in reality it is an offering to the Lord that I am making. I'm finding it easier to offer my love to some and harder to others. But I want to get through this and I'm thankful for the prod as I read this post today.
I am also thankful for amazing grace that saved a wretch like me.
Hi E-Mom,
I read this post via email a couple of days ago. Excellent at always.
Also, these photos are spectacular..
Always a treat to get over here to say Hello. Sending you a hug and love.
Good post. I used to be a little of both anger trees. Rendered to God He can do amazing things! I praise Him for producing good fruit.
Much love,
Angela
E-mom...Wow! Amazing insights here! Today, I'm most like #1, but there some days I'm like #3. Being a pleaser by nature, and growing up in a loving home, but one where expressing anger equalled disrespect, I learned early on to stuff and surpress anger. Confrontation is terrifying to me, particularly with those I love the most. God has recently been revealing to me through His Word and various Christian resources(ahem)that this leads to nothing but pain, bitterness and sin. That withholding truth because of fear and calling it "not wanting to hurt someone" is not loving at all. I have been and will continue to pray for the courage to speak the truth in love. Thank you for being the voice of confirmation today...(I heard it, Lord...loud and clear.)
Blessings,
Tracy = )
Tonya: Thanks for your vulnerability. The Lord seems to be using this post for good in many lives. May you find healing for your deep hurts. Love you. (((Hugs)))
Jennifer: Yes, I agree, we're all a work in progress. :~D
Living Beyond: Yes, love never fails. And even when our "song" is unappreciated by one or two others, there will be many others who hear it and respond. :~D May you find healing for your soul's injuries. (((Hugs)))
Lynn: Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate your visits! Hugs.
Angela: Good is good. All the time. :~D
Tracy: Thank you for being the voice of confirmation today. You're welcome. Praise God for his Word. :~D
What a great post! It wasn't until my toddler started pushing my buttons that I realized I had a lot of pent up anger. It would bubble up when I got frustrated with the ususal typical whining and defiance of a two and three year old. I lost my temper so easily. I realized it was something I had to let the Lord work on in me. Thanks for stopping by my blog. A Cup of Joy is my sister-in-law BTW.
Hi E-mom,
I read this when you first posted it, and then wanted to think about it...
Now, of course I'd love to tell you I'm tree #1, but of course I'd have to repent right away.
Truly this is my desire, and there are times, by God's GRACE I exhibit these fruit.
However I guess I could see most things in #3, although I can't rule all for 2 out for sure.
I'm just a sinner saved by grace, and I pray each day I start looking more like Jesus.
Yes, I know the solution: MORE OF HIM = LESS OF SUSAN!!
Thanks once again for such a great article.
Blessings to you♥
Colleen: Ah, so you're related to Cup of Joy? Thanks for the heads up.
Toddlers do have a way of bringing our weaknesses to the surface. :~D
Susan: Susan, we are all somewhere on the continuum between trees no 1 and 2/3, aren't we? None of us exhibit the fruit of the Spirit 100% of the time. :~D
Thanks for your honesty and serious consideration of this post. The Lord has taught me so much about forgiveness (and it's attendant grief). I've been suprised to learn how injured He is when man sins, and that He's the greatest forgiver/sufferer of all. (((Hugs)))
One thing that I have learned is that there is nothing sinful about anger correctly expressed. There are two responses that fall under that category: 1. Get over it or 2. Do something about it.
the sinful kind of anger is when we dwell on it and let it rot in our souls. Then it is truly a sour fruit.
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