In the Spotlight: Ruth Bell Graham

"My wife Ruth was the most incredible woman I have ever known. Whenever I was asked to name the finest Christian I ever met, I always replied, 'My wife, Ruth.' She was a spiritual giant, whose unparalleled knowledge of the Bible and commitment to prayer were a challenge and inspiration to everyone who knew her."—Billy Graham

"I’d rather have a little of Bill than a lot of any other man."—Ruth Graham

Bright Smile. Warm Heart.

Remembering Ruth Bell Graham 1920-2007

Ruth Bell Graham, wife of evangelist Billy Graham, was born at Qingjiang, Kiangsu, China, on June 10, 1920, as Ruth McCue Bell. Her parents, Dr. and Mrs. L. Nelson Bell, were medical missionaries at the Presbyterian Hospital 300 miles north of Shanghai. As a young girl there in the small hospital compound, Ruth first sensed the great calling to abandon all for the sake of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Her childhood was spent on China’s mission field with her parents and siblings Rosa, Virginia, and Clayton, surrounded by disease, despair, and the eventual disorder and chaos of civil wars. The suffering she observed only strengthened in her the conviction of mankind’s need for the Savior. Until her early adult years, she dreamed of serving as a single missionary in a far corner of the world—the mountainous nation of Tibet.

At the age of 13, Ruth was sent to boarding school in Pyongyang, in modern-day North Korea, where she studied for three years. Under terrible homesickness, Ruth learned to overcome the loneliness of being far from loved ones by taking care of the needs of others, a skill that would serve her well in the coming years.

Ruth completed her high school education in Montreat, North Carolina, while her parents were there on furlough. In the fall of 1937, she enrolled at Wheaton College, outside Chicago, Illinois, and three years later was introduced to “Preacher,” the nickname other students gave the strapping Billy Graham from Charlotte, North Carolina.

The couple began courting, and so also began a struggle in Ruth between what she thought was her calling to the mission field and her blossoming love for the driven young evangelist. In late April 1941 after much struggling in prayer, Ruth realized her life’s mission was to be bound up in Billy’s passion for evangelism. Shortly after their graduation from Wheaton, the two were married in Montreat on August 13, 1943.

For a brief period, Ruth served as a pastor’s wife in Western Springs, Illinois, before Billy moved on to serve as an evangelist with Youth for Christ; as president of Northwestern Schools in Minneapolis, Minnesota; and eventually as evangelist and president of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.

With their increased time apart due to frequent preaching trips—and with their first child on the way—Ruth convinced Billy to move the family to Montreat, near her parents. Ruth’s ministry flourished in the mountains of western North Carolina, where she built the family homestead and raised five children: Virginia (Gigi), Anne, Ruth, Franklin, and Nelson Edman (Ned). Ruth treasured her role as the strong woman behind “America’s Pastor” and was Billy’s closest confidant, most trusted advisor, and dearest friend. She loved to move behind the scenes, away from the spotlight, and helped him craft and research sermons and even books.

A gifted poet and writer herself, Ruth authored or coauthored 14 books, including Sitting by My Laughing Fire, Legacy of a Pack Rat, Prodigals and Those Who Love Them, and One Wintry Night. This biography above is quoted from the Graham's official website which celebrates the life of Ruth Bell Graham. Don't miss the touching video and radio specials there.

Memories of Ruth

Her Godly wisdom...

"I have been asked the question, 'Who do you go to for counsel, for spiritual guidance?' My answer: my wife, Ruth. She is a great student of the Bible. Her life is ruled by the Bible more than any person I’ve ever known. That’s her rule book, her compass. Her disposition is the same all the time—very sweet and very gracious and charming. When it comes to spiritual things, my wife has had the greatest influence on my ministry."—Billy Graham

Their marriage...

"Ruth and I don’t have a perfect marriage, but we have a great one. In a perfect marriage, everything is always the finest and best imaginable; like a Greek statue, the proportions are exact and the finish is unblemished. Who knows any human beings like that? For a married couple to expect perfection in each other is unrealistic. We learned that even before we married. The unblemished ideal exists only in 'happily ever after' fairy tales. I think that there is some merit to a description I once read of a married couple as 'happily incompatible.' Ruth likes to say, 'If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.' The sooner we accept that as a fact of life, the better we will be able to adjust to each other and enjoy togetherness." —Billy Graham

Growing up with Ruth...

"I was a good bit younger than Ruth, who went off to high school in what is now North Korea. I was 7 or 8 at the time. When I think of memories from when I was a child growing up with Ruth, the first thing that comes to mind is her love of animals. She always had animals around, baby ducks and baby chickens, and so forth. She had a tremendous compassion for animals, to the point that she would take a baby chicken to bed with her—that resulted in fatal effects for the chick!

When she was about 13, Ruth wrote a poem about Chinese graves. We lived in a compound surrounded by a brick wall, and on the other side of the brick wall were graves. All of us grew up hearing mothers who would come out to the graves and weep for their children. I think this is partly what inspired Ruth to write about the hopelessness of people who died without Christ. She was always sensitive, even as a young girl." —Virginia Somerville, Ruth’s younger sister

Ruth's faith during her husband's long absences...

"Mother stood waiting outside the doorway. The suitcases were packed and ready to be loaded into the car. We children ran around on the driveway, laughing and playing while we waited for Daddy. Suddenly his tall, handsome figure appeared in the doorway, his overcoat slung over one arm, his hat on his head. We ran to him, dreading what we knew would be another long separation. He took each of us in his strong arms, held us tightly and then kissed us goodbye.

I couldn’t bear to look into his eyes because I knew that they would be glistening with tears. Though there were many such goodbyes while we were growing up, it never got easier. We would back away and watch as Daddy took Mother in his arms, kissing her warmly and firmly, knowing it would be some time before he would hold her again.

Then Daddy was whisked away in the car, around the curves and down the steep mountain drive. We listened to the retreating sound of the engine and waited for the final “toot” of the horn as he reached the gate. Another plane to catch, another city, another Crusade, another period of weeks before we would be together as a family once more.

I turned to look at Mother, sensing her feeling of loss and loneliness. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears, but there was a beautiful smile on her face as she said, “OK, let’s clean the attic! Then we’ll have Lao Niang and Lao I up for supper!” (That’s Chinese for maternal grandmother and grandfather.)

Not once did my mother make us feel that by staying behind she was sacrificing her life for us children. By her sweet, positive example, her consistently unselfish spirit, and her total reliance upon the Person of Jesus Christ, we were kept from becoming bitter or resentful. Instead, we learned to look for ways to keep busy and prepare for Daddy’s homecoming." —Gigi Graham, Ruth’s daughter

Ruth's devotions...

"I would go down to my mother’s room early in the morning. Her light would be on, and I would find her at her big, flat-top desk. She would have about 14 different translations of the Bible spread out. She would be reading and studying her Bible.

I would go down to her room late at night. I would see the light on underneath the door and I’d go in, and she would be on her knees in prayer.

As I look back on my childhood, I cannot remember any impression whatsoever that my mother was ever lonely. She may have been lonely, but I never saw it.

I believe that our heavenly Father, our Savior, saved my mother from loneliness because of her daily walk with the Lord Jesus—He was the love of her life. I saw that in her life. It was her love for the Lord Jesus, with whom she walks every day, that made me want to love Him and walk with Him like that." —Anne Graham Lotz, Ruth’s daughter

Her friendships...

"Ruth and I were so close as children that each of us called the other 'One of Us.' When we got together, we’d call ourselves 'Both of Us.' A few years ago, I became very ill while on a missions trip and ended up in the hospital. I was so amused one day when the lady came around with flowers. She motioned to one plant. This one is anonymous, she said. It just says, 'From One of Us.' I just laughed, because it was not anonymous to me at all. I knew immediately that it was from Ruth." —Sandra Gartrell, Ruth’s lifelong friend who grew up with her in China

Her spirited good nature...

"For some reason, the hood on Billy’s rental car would not stay latched. Every few miles, he’d pull over to the side of the road, and Franklin would get out and slam the hood down. When we got to the Utah line, we stopped at a little ice cream shop. Ruth had never been able to drink chocolate milk; I think she was allergic to chocolate. Anyway, she ordered a chocolate milkshake. Billy said, 'Ruth, I have never seen you drink a chocolate milkshake.' She rolled her eyes and crossed them, which was something she sometimes did, and she said, 'You’ve never seen me take a trip like this, either.'

Oh, did we have fun! Ruth is one of the most positive people I’ve known in my life. She’s positive about everything. She’s been a real inspiration to those who know her. Even [in her later years], in the wheelchair or her bed, she was always a joy to visit." —Mary Helen Wilson, wife of BGEA Associate Evangelist T.W. Wilson, telling of a Southern California road trip with the Grahams

"Time To Adore" Website

These loving memories
were quoted from the official Graham website, "Time To Adore" which celebrates the life of Ruth Bell Graham. A moving description of the Public Funeral Service held in Montreat, N.C. was attended by her husband, her older sister, all five Graham siblings, and all 19 grandchildren, who served as pallbearers. Don't miss the photo album which includes a touching photo of Ruth reading God's Word with rock singer Bono.

If you had the opportunity to talk with Ruth Graham today, what would you say?

"And when I die, I hope my soul ascends slowly, so that I may watch the earth receding out of sight, its vastness growing smaller as I rise, savoring its recession with delight."—Ruth Graham

Photo Credits: billygraham.org.