Christian Growth: Spiritual UNdisciplines

On Diapers and Devotions

A New Mom's Reflections

"A lifelong evangelical, I once believed that daily quiet time dialed the only number God answers… Becoming a mother, however, ruined my ability to be disciplined about spirituality. As I write this, my twins are two months old, and my initial sense of life with children is that everything is going to be rearranged, including the way I seek intimacy with God…"

Catch-As-Catch-Can Spirituality

"Many of the spiritual disciplines were developed by monastics who valued regularity and solitude; words like order and rule describe them. Family life, while no less holy than monastic life, makes consistent order impossible. The wild rhythm of parenting persuades me that monastic life cannot provide the only model for spiritual discipline. In fact, some seasons of life may be better suited to spiritual undiscipline. In contrast to the stability of monasticism, motherhood offers a catch-as-catch-can spirituality. I'm doing just that, and I'm catching more than I thought possible."

Breastfeeding as a Spiritual Practice

"Though breastfeeding will never be considered a standard spiritual practice, it's the most disciplined thing I've ever done. The boys have been taking their meals every three hours, around the clock, for nine weeks. That's about a thousand feedings so far. In these early weeks of my boys' lives, I don't meet with friends for prayer, read devotional books, or enjoy quiet times. Breastfeeding is my daily office, giving structure to my spiritual life."

Self-denial is Standard Fare

"Motherhood requires a daily denial of good things I once considered essential: adequate sleep, uninterrupted reading time, and leisurely meals, to name just a few. Desert fathers spoke of crushing sin through rigorous self-denial. But for women raised to be caretakers, self-denial can be all too easy and even harmful. Social and family expectations often result in women negating the self before they've even formed a self. Over time, such warped self-denial leads to jealousy, anger, and manipulation as women assert their squished selves in any which way."

Sanctifying Self-Care

"Like many evangelical girls, I was raised for domestic labor, raised to be a cheerful giver and never a taker. In the colicky evening hours, however, when two babies are crying at the same time and I'm beginning to cry myself, I just can't do it all. Asking for help, both when I'm at my wit's end and when I just want a break, preserves my health and strengthens my community. It draws my husband into the inner circle of baby care, a sanctum from which dads too often are excluded. It brings friends and family members into my babies' lives in meaningful ways. And it allows me to snatch some sleep, and occasionally even a walk or a shower. Self-care is the inverse of asceticism, but it may be a feminine counterpoint to pride-crushing self-denial. When done for the right reasons, both self-denial and self-care are sanctifying."

Practicing the Presence of God in Seasons of Disorder

"Mothering teaches me that spirituality is not only about folding hands and closing eyes. As my daily life has become more physical and immediate, so has my experience of God. My favorite undiscipline, nursing, offers me reason to sit in a glider rocker for eight hours a day, one or another babe at breast. This sitting, a meditation of sorts, encourages generosity and patience that I hope will bless my sons and others I encounter. Changing a hundred diapers each week cultivates endurance; crankiness can nurture quick forgiveness; exhaustion calls for humility and community. And, best of all, babies themselves provide unlimited chances to live in gratitude and joy. Practicing conventional disciplines, when we're able, prepares us to simply practice the presence of God, to borrow a phrase from Brother Lawrence, in seasons of life filled with disorder."

Seeking God With the Help of Wee Brothers

"The Benedictine rule describes its purpose as 'seeking the grace of God with the help of many brothers.' As a married woman with children, my spirituality looks little like that of a monk, but I seek the same grace. I do it with the help of two wee brothers, Oliver and Wesley. And though the life of my spirit as I've known it is impoverished, I feel rich. I'll see a spiritual director, read the Psalms, and enjoy solitude again as soon as I get the chance. For now, I'm practicing the spiritual undisciplines."

These quotes have been excerpted from Jennell Williams Paris’ article, “Disorderly Disciplines” published by Christianity Today. These reflections were written two months after their birth. The boys are now two years old.

New Moms on the Bloggity Block

Got a few extra minutes? Please give your warm congratulations to Popurie (Sharon's Lavendar Courtyard) and Amydeanne (The 160 Acre Woods).

We Will, We Will Rock You

Kili (Live Each Moment to the Fullest), Tara (Livesay Haiti Weblog), Ruth (Mom's Musings), Treadmarks (Treadmarks), and Holly (Seeking Faithfulness) are currently "ladies-in-waiting." (Hmmm, must be something in the water!) Consider sharing a little of your linky love with these hip Christian mamas.

As a Mom, how do you seek intimacy with God?

Photo Credits: pfly (Flickr)

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