Thirteen Ways to Change a Lightbulb
1. How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
2. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed.
3. How many Arminians does it take to change a light bulb?
All. They need everyone to make sure it stays on. One can never really be sure.
4. How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
Change???
5. How many Neo-Orthodox does it take to change a bulb?
No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and dark.
6. How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
7. How many Independent Fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, because any more might result in too much cooperation.
8. How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they still might not change it, to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.
9. How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They always use candles.
10. How many worship leaders who use guitars does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing. [Kum-ba-ya my Lord...]
11. How many members of an established fundamental Bible teaching church that is over 20 years old does it take to change a light bulb?
One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.
12. How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted―all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence. "
13. How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
"What's a light bulb?"
—Author unknown. Quoted from biblebelievers.com.
The Ultimate Joke
It's official! The world's funniest joke was revealed after a year-long search by scientists. Researchers scoured the globe attracting more than 40,000 jokes and almost two million ratings. You can read about the London LaughLab's research, and the winning joke that snagged the top spot right here.
HT to Carol at She Lives for finding this funny! Please consider joining Carol and the other hip bloggers for Thursday Thirteen. And here's another place T-13 calls home.
So what do YOU think? On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate "the world's funniest joke?" Cartoon Credit: Dave Walker at We Blog Cartoons. Check out Dave's FREE downloadable 2007 calendar: Cartoonchurch.com.
Photo Credit: Spirit635 (Flickr)
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Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Eph 4:2-3 NIV)
27 Comments:
I loved your jokes! I am really surprised by the funniest joke of the year. I guess I don't think I would have picked that out and thought that to be that funny.
It's funny but not worthy of funniest, imo. I love the lightbulb joke!
Those were great!!!
But I didn't get #7. I know, I know ... it won't be funny if you have to explain it to me.
The world's funniest joke gets about an 8 from me. It was funny in a sick sort of way. And, since I'm sort of sick, I probably think it's funnier than most other Christian women do.
I love your T-13, e-Mom!
Great T13, E-mom. I heard instead of "Baptist" "Lutheran" before :). Many Lutherans don't like change. I can say that, because I am one :)....
The world funniest joke was okay, but not the funniest I have ever heard. So maybe a 7...
Blessings on your day and always.
I liked all the lightbulb jokes, better - very cute!
Oh well!
Have a great weekend :o)
Thanks for a fun start to my day!
I had seen this at Carol's and it is pretty doggone funny. Somehow, I think the cartoon at the top would've been funnier if the "outcast" had a PC vs. a MAC :).
BUT...on a bit of a more serious note, this kind of thing always makes me think about heaven...eternity...and the fact there won't be denominations there. What, oh, what will we do then??
Your tongue-in-cheek friend :)
Girl, you crack me up! That was a keeper. I can't believe how much I'm still laughing....sure needed that this morning. It's been too serious around here.
hugs,
Vicki
Your TT was really funny! My TT is up, come by if you get a chance!
http://mitchypoo777.blogspot.com
lori, terri, carol, eph2810, kristy, tami, robin, vicki, & mitchypoo: Thank you all for stopping by to comment today. Have a blessed weekend! (((Hugs)))
Great TT. The lightbulb jokes were hilarious. I got them all. Happy Friday.
My TT is up also. Stop by if you can.
heehee, I loved the cartoon and the 13 lightbulb ideas. I was cracking up! My daughter actually found it before me this time....I've been busy spring breaking!
{{hugs}}
This was so funny!!! So many of those statements were very true.
I guess I didn't think the world's funniest joke was that hilarious.
I get it, but I thought it was lame the first time I heard it.
sorry to be a spoilsport.
Even though I am in the midst of hunting country I don't think that is at all the funniest joke, not even the funniest hunting joke, I have ever heard. Love the lightbulb jokes though.
After reading the "world's funniest joke" I came to the conclusion that it may rather be considered World's funniest joke to the British which would be why most of the American's questioned didn't think it that funny. Loved the list of jokes. Great!
ancsweetnsassygal, crickl's nest, sis. julie, leftcoastonlooker, laurie, & heather: Thanks for stopping by to comment. Happy Monday! :~)
Great jokes! The "funniest" joke is funny in kind of sick way. I've heard funnier ones.
well, that should be the stupidest joke perhaps.. I've heard it a lot.. probably b/c it's easily understood in all cultures..
Yes I thought the world's funniest joke was very funny, but I'd heard it before.
The lightbulb jokes were very funny.
My favourite joke:
why does Edward Woodward have 4 'ds' in his name?
Because otherwise he'd be called Ewar Woowar
Hahahahaha sorry I'm laughing at my own joke which is not good.
Hugs xx
I love that lightbulb one;)
I've heard it before and it always cracks me up;)
Okay, you have officially been added to my favorite list! Thanks for sharing the light bulb joke...I had to read it to my husband, who's a pastor. He got a kick out of them, too.
The funniest joke in the world: I give it a six. I guess it's all in the delivery.
jana, amydeanne, sarah, malissa, kathy: You all make me smile very (((broadly))). Thanks so much for your remarks.
Sarah--Thanks for adding your own joke... LOL, I love it!!!
e-mom,
the light bulb jokes are hilarious! I had to send the link to my brother who's a pastor. I won't be surprised if they're posted on his blog soon. I'm Enjoying reading your blog. Blessings!
ellen b.: Thanks so much for stopping by. Glad you had a good chuckle! Hope your brother enjoyed it too. :~)
Those are very funny.
There's one you forgot:
How many Eastern Orthodox does it take to change a light bulb?
Change?? Is Outrage!
I found you through Crickl's nest and I found her through Wordless Wednesday and I keep coming back.
debd: Pleased to meet you. Thanks for adding to the joke! Blessings. :~)
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