She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple... Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. (Proverbs 31:21-25 ESV)
Your Public Life
by Anne Ortlund
There are two kinds of personalities in the world, and you are one of the two. People can tell which, as soon as you walk into a room; your attitude says either “Here I am,” or “There you are.”
Which kind are you?
Let’s back up… At the center of your life must be God in Jesus Christ. There the ultimate issues are settled, and you can start living from the inside out.
Your person is part of the center, too; your body is the flesh that clothes his Presence. Fantastic thought! So your looks are important, before him, and representing him…
Moving out from that central core of you, you push aside a filmy gauze curtain to your immediate surroundings, which you share with no one or a very few; your bedroom, bath, closets…
Within that concentric circle are people—perhaps a roommate, perhaps children… and others.
As a woman, your eternity-oriented task is to affect others, to move them to God through the Savior, Jesus Christ. Your temporary task, for the years you have them, is to affect the members of your physical family, by whatever means you can, to be “born again” into God’s eternal family and to grow within that family to spiritual maturity. Your lifelong task, at least from conversion on, whether married or single, is to influence everyone you can, by whatever means you can, to the same ends—to help them become temple material of gold, silver, and precious stones.
Walk out that door of your home to your job or whatever your world may be saying, "There you are!"
The ways you’ll do this are as varied as God’s creative powers allow, which are infinite. He never stamps out cookie-cutter Christians.
Now we’re moving out from the middle to the edges of your life. But where are the edges? Lines and shades blur. The more God-integrated and focused our central core is, the more powerful is the push outward, until (only God knows) your public life may become public indeed. At least it will be as far as eternity is concerned.
…You may have thought you have no public life at all. But you certainly do. Beyond your most intimately known circle of people, what lives do you touch? Who knows you? Many at your church, and perhaps other organizations. The grocer, the bank teller, the postman, your neighbors—are you not just touching their lives, but influencing them for Jesus?
Walk out that door of your home to your job or whatever your world may be saying, “There you are! There are all you precious people, with feeling and needs. Who of you is ready today to be pressured to God, gently or strongly, as he leads me?”
Let me tell you a visual way I see this happen. I know a Hawaiian woman who strings a number of leis early each Sunday morning, not for anyone in particular! Then she comes to church praying, “Lord, who needs my leis today? A newcomer? Someone discouraged? Lead me to the right people.”
That’s emerging into public life saying, “There you are!”
Your public life should flow out of your private life. How important your outward direction is! You represent Christ. Hold your head up, as Psalm 3:3 tells you to do. Plan your shampoos so that you don’t go to the grocery store in rollers. Switch purses—it’s worth the time—so that you coordinate when you go out. Compliment the friend you’re meeting for lunch by looking like God’s woman. Gideon was known by his appearance and clothing to be a leader among men (Judges 8:18) and so should you!
Look quality and think quality. It will tell on your face if you obey Philippians 4:8, letting your mind dwell on that which is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and so on!
…Reach out! Socialize. Stretch out your heart to know many who are different form you—richer, poorer or whatever…
On this earth you will probably never know them all, but affect all the lives you can. “Behold how those Christians love one another,” they said in the first century. And of the ones who aren’t believers—your warmth, your smile my open doors which will draw them in.
“There you are,” you say to your public world. “God loves you, and I love you. What can I do for you today?”
And from that well-tended, precious center of you, the circle will enlarge… and enlarge… and enlarge.
Excerpt from Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman by Anne Ortlund, a well-loved classic on Christian womanhood. Please read this book for more time-tested wisdom on “Your Looks” “Your Goals” “Your Daily Scheduling” and more. Here's a radio interview with Anne Ortlund (now 79 years of age) on Aging Joyfully.
Wardrobe LinksDo you need help improving your look for your ministry, job, or other public appearances? Push your shopping cart over to this great website, Christian Women Today. You’ll find beauty, fashion, wardrobe essentials and how to find a swimsuit that flatters. If you’re budget is tight (and whose isn’t) bag some tips on thrift-store bargain-hunting right here.
Weight Loss
Most of us would have a better Christian witness if we trimmed down a little (or a lot). Barbara at Mommy Life has joined Melodee’s incredible weight-loss journey over at The Amazing Shrinking Mom. Together the two of them (plus a large crowd of gentle women) have lost a whopping 98 pounds since Easter! Mel’s health tips and humorous writing style are not to be missed. Other "thinspirational" blogs worth visiting are Half of Me (with cool 3-D Before/After shots), One Weigh Or Another, and Choosing 2 Lose. Also, take a look at Susan’s cool “weight-loss ticker” at Celadon Pool.
Attractiveness in Marriage
Did you know your husband needs you to take an interest in your appearance? Learn the facts about a man's need for physical attractiveness in his mate. Why not take the time to ask hubby what he likes, and then write it all down? He may be so blessed, he’s knocked right off the sofa! (And maybe the remote will disappear forever.)
Young and Single?
Establishing biblical femininity may be one of your wardrobe priorities. If so, please read this thoughtful article, “The Beauty in Modesty” in Focus on the Family’s Boundless webzine. Discover how cultivating inner beauty and dressing attractively (eg. skirts and longer hair) with modesty attracts honorable men.
Inner Beauty
As Godly women, let’s keep this in mind:
“Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:3-4 NASB)
Top photo courtesy of chany14 (Flickr). Bottom photo courtesy of killrbeez (Flickr).
If you could make any contribution to the world, what would it be?
13 Comments:
Oh my goodness, great thoughts. How do you come up with them all?
This gives me alot to think about today!
What women couldn't use this advice?
Although I'd love to comment more, tick tock says the clock, I'm on the run right now. BUT, to answer your closing question, if I can model a Godly marriage for my children, one that's authentic enough that they won't settle for anything less in their own lives, then generations would be affected (as they do the same for their own children, and so on...). A small contribution to the world, but then again I'm not looking for fame, a simple "well done" in the end will do :).
Wonderful post! I have been doing a series on image lately, and I'll be getting around to clothing eventually. I like the point that we as women are representing Christ to the world and so we should try to look our best. As much as people say they don't, everyone judges by appearance to begin with.
Thanks for a thoughtful post!
Very nice post - like always. I usually try to cloths myself with Him before leaving the home.
Regarding 'Attractiveness in Marriage' - you are right, we need to take care of ourself for our husbands, even when it is hard sometimes. But the best my husbands likes: when I put on a smile for him :).
One of my favorite verses is Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." I think if we put Him on, everything else comes naturally. Maybe - not sure...
Ya know, this is so where I am. Just last night I lamented on the phone with my sister about how I hate my hair right now, and I've gained 10 pounds over the summer and hate it! I totally feel like I'm "cheating" my husband out of a gorgeous wife. Thanks for the links!
Hey, e-mom, thought I'd come back and finish my thought from yesterday.
When I read this post, I was reminded that in the past few years I discovered I was a "Here I am" kind of girl, think life-of-the-party personality. Of course, part of that was rooted in an overcompensation for inner nervousness and shyness (which friends LAUGH at when they hear me describe myself that way), the other side of that, is the self-confidence of being comfortable with "who" I am.
As God has continued to teach me that it's not about me, one of the lessons has been to learn how to focus on Him, while considering others more highly than I consider self. One of the BEST ways to do this is with a ministry of listening :). I often remind my children "God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we'd listen twice as much as we speak." It's a great thought for me as well, one I've intentionally put into practice...at least tried to.
You know b/c you've read me lately, that I understand the influence we have on others...the ripple effect of our actions. Am I influencing for good or evil? Are people drawn to Christ because of my love for Him, which results in a genuine love for and interest in others? How beautiful if/when that happens :). You can only act like you love others for so long; but when the Holy Spirit transforms the way you look at them, that's the inner change that results in a permanent change in outward behavior...and THAT makes all the difference.
Just wanted to say hi back. You dropped by my site yesterday. Nice to meet you.
I'll definitely be back..have added you to favorites already. I admit, I quickly skimmed here as it's 7:27am and I still have to grab breaky, and do my face before heading out the door to work. But will be back this evening to give this a more thorough read! Thanks again for dropping by.
I think I would add laughter! I love it when I see people laughing and having a good time. We are to have joy in the Lord! I believe we are not to walk around always in morning. God gave us a new life, freedom, a reason to be happy.
I love your blog! Keep posting please, it brings a smile to my face.
kristina p: Thanks. I've collected these ideas over many years!
lori: So glad you found it helpful. And yes, laughter! Your blog is a joyful place too.
robin: I'm completely with you. You said "if I can model a Godly marriage for my children" you'd settle for a simple "well done." Scripture says our solid marriages are actually modelling the relationship between Christ and His Bride, the church. What a beautiful image to emulate.
I also appreciate your second comment. Like you, I've discovered that the very best way I can be present for others is to listen, and even to echo back what they've said. Especially true of women listening says, "There you are!" (Two ears, one mouth... wise!)
When we fill up with the love of God, and I mean drink really deeply from that fount, we are able to turn our attention outward, so His blessings can spill out. That's how we become a conduit of God's love to the world. It takes wide open receptivity to God and his Word on our part first. We are built for relationships, and we still do need the love of other humans, but it's not a death-grip "gotta have it" situation. The Lord is the foundation and fount of our confidence. Your thoughts, "The ripple effect of our actions" and "You can only act like you love others for so long" are so true!!!
jana: Sounds like you're on the right track! You're right, like it or not, our image is important. Most of us aren't model drop-dead gorgeous (like OT Sarah for example), but I've discovered I do have a great deal of control over my grooming and appearance. Coordinating both my inner and outer beauty can be rewarding and but also a challenge. Thankfully, there are many places to go for help!
eph2810: You are always so freshly bathed in the Word, and clothed with His glory! Yes, the best thing I can do for my husband is find reasons to smile. My smiles make him feel like a hero--even if I'm smiling about the weather.
Also, I do think it's true that care for our outward appearance flows out of our inner joy in the Lord. Conversely, it's easy to read inward unhappiness and negativity in others by the way they dress. Like Christ, we can make the compassionate choice to move toward the "unlovely" rather than be repelled by them and move away.
paula t: Your humility is convicting! Enjoy the links.
mugwumpmom: Welcome, and thanks for visiting! I think we live on the same part of the globe--relatively speaking--hovering somewhere near the 49th parallel. I'll be back to visit your site very soon.
hey e-mom,
insightful and so needful for us to keep reminded of it. I read from John Ortberg yesterday that we ought to be careful of boundaries markers so that we don't walk by mere appearance only, that which leads to Pseudo-christianity. The heart is where it matters and while we love and care, it takes all kinds, all looks, but only a God-shaped heart to do all the walking.
What do you do besides being a mom, are you a journalist? You have a great mind!
popuri: Your're right, God doesn't make cookie-cutter Christians. We all need each other in the body of Christ.
No, not a journalist... lots of other things besides. I do enjoy writing, thanks!
breaking news: Here's a post by Carol at "She Lives" on dressing in skirts. Worth a peek...
http://shelives.typepad.com/she_lives/2006/09/she_skirts_arou.html
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