Arts & Culture: Describe Your Writing Space

A Room of One’s Own

Bloggers are writers, and—like the famous Virginia Woolf—we require some sort of writing place, a space we can call our own. A Room of One’s Own.

We’re creative types aren’t we? Lots of us use photography, video, and music to add another dimension to our blog posts. I suspect however, that the best writers among us opt for a blank page filled solely with words.

My office has moved around quite a lot in the past few years. As empty-nesters, we've been down-sizing. When I first began blogging in 2006, my office occupied half of our basement. I had a nice big IKEA desk with rolling drawer pedestals, a graphic layout table, and eight large bookcases.

Now my computer sits (and I slouch) at the end of our dining room table. My files and shelves fill a nice big walk-in closet.

No more! Now my computer sits (and I slouch) at the end of our dining room table. My files and shelves fill a nice big walk-in closet. And I am so happy to be free of twenty-two years of accumulated notes, books, papers, drawings, samples (like tile, paint and carpet), and stuff!

I guess you could say, these days I'm traveling light. My current writing space most resembles the modern feel of photo #5 above. What I'd really love to have is #6, with a simple laptop.

So where do you blog? (That crazy verb! “To blog.”) Do you have a special comfy chair, a table, a cleared space on your kitchen island? Or do you have an office with a real desk?

I’d love to know.

But beyond this, my son, be warned: the writing of many books is endless, and excessive devotion to books is wearying to the body.
(Ecc 12:12 NASB)

Inspired by Rachel Gardner, Literary Agent

Related

A warm welcome to Home Sanctuary's "Company Girl" visitors. Coffee is in the kitchen. (Go meet Susannah!) Please pour yourself a cup, and make yourself at home at Chrysalis today.

Photos: 1. LostinScotland 2. Olivander 3. Schmuela 4. Jawcy 5. Looseid 6. Koonisutra 7. Lamentables 8. Seamusholman 9. TimothyKHamilton (Flickr).

Up Next—Announcement: Marriage Monday is Coming!

Please describe your writing space in five sentences or less.

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Book NEWS: "Bringing Up Girls" & "Girls Gone Wise"

Advice for Christian Parents in a World Gone Wild

Sex-selection technologies in the West are now more often used to select a preference for girls than for boys—reversing a (detestable) historical trend in place for thousands of years.

Shocking, isn’t it?

In his alarming article, “The End of Men? — A Hard Look at the Future” Dr. Albert Mohler presents the argument that our postmodern, postindustrial society is be better suited to women than to men. Citing an article by Hanna Rosin of The Atlantic, Mohler shares her observation that men are falling behind women in almost every sector of cultural influence and economic power. Why?

Young Manhood is Under Threat

Rosin explains, “The postindustrial economy is indifferent to men’s size and strength. The attributes that are most valuable today—social intelligence, open communication, the ability to sit still and focus—are, at a minimum, not predominately male.”

Mohler adds, “Boys are clearly falling behind girls in both educational achievement and aspiration… God intended for men to have a role as workers, reflecting God’s own image in their vocation. The most important issue here is not the gains made by women, but the displacement of men.” Read More ...

Clearly, this emerging cultural scenario is potentially disastrous to our boys. We must be informed and intentional about our parenting. But what about our precious girls? How do we help them navigate the choppy waters as females in this postmodern, postindustrial culture? And how can we encourage them to blossom into mature Godly women in an over-sexualized society?

Two New Resources for Raising Godly Girls

You might be interested to know about two brand new books on my nightstand. Written by respected Christian authors, they offer solid answers to these difficult questions.

1. Bringing up Girls: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women (Tyndale 2010). By Dr. James Dobson, this is the companion to his best-selling book, Bringing Up Boys. Here are two quotes by Dobson from Jim Daly’s blog, Finding Home.

“Although our daughters are doing rather well academically and on some measures of social and personal health, I have to tell you that in many ways, I am even more concerned about girls than boys… So much has changed for the worse in recent years. Our daughters are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their mothers, grandmothers and previous generations.”—Bringing Up Girls

“Tell her she is pretty every chance you get… Hug her. Compliment her admirable traits. Build her confidence by giving her your time and attention. Defend her when she is struggling. And let her know that she has a place in your heart that is reserved only for her. She will never forget it.”—Bringing Up Girls

You can scan the Table of Contents for more information about this book in the First Chapter .pdf download

2. Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild
by Mary A. Kassian (Moody 2010). From the Publisher’s Description at CBD:

“Inundated by popular culture, many women have lost their bearings and no longer trust the internal compass that intuitively affirms those things that are good, true, and noble about womanhood. And as Jesus’ favorite and most powerful teaching tactic was the parable, it is appropriate that Mary Kassian walks the reader through the compelling tale of the wild versus wise woman found in Proverbs 7.

By using 21 points of contrast, the reader will be able to discern the difference between wild and wise. And then evaluate her own direction – is she living as a wise, biblically savy woman? Or has she bought into the one our culture holds as ideal – the wild woman.”

Book Giveaway

I would like to send you my copy of this book—a generous gift from Mary Kassian’s publisher. The first person to leave a comment on this post with the words, “Girls Gone Wise” is the winner!

Related: Once a month Jennifer hosts her meme, What’s on Your Nightstand
at Five Minutes For Books. It's a great way to find out what other book-lovers are reading each month. The Carnival of Homeschooling is also another wonderful resource for thoughtful Moms.

Photos: cketrophotos (Flickr)

Coming Soon—Describe Your Writing Space

Do you read parenting books? Your favorites?

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Marriage: Why Your Husband (Sometimes) Acts Like Attila the Hun

Solving the Mystery of Pink & Blue

The world is full of wise sayings, witty truisms, and sardonic jokes about the different ways men and women engage with life. Some days we laugh, other days we’re indifferent, and on some occasions we’re downright irate over our husband's perplexing male behavior.

Here's the thing. Deep in every man’s heart is the driving motivation for respect. He may nod sweetly, cross his legs in public, and engage in polite conversation. But he’s like the little boy who reluctantly slid back down into the church pew after he tried to stand up. He’s thinking to himself, “I may be sitting down on the outside, but I’m standing up on the inside!” Men will be men, no matter how hard we try to turn them into carbon copies of ourselves.

He Wears Blue-Tinted Sunglasses

Every action in a man’s life is an attempt to answer the question, “I am I good enough? Do I have what it takes to be successful?” Men are designed to compete and risk all to win—the girl, the big salary, the recognition for a job well done. “Thank” and “You” are the two words they cannot live without. They thrive on appreciation and meeting needs. Compare a man’s need for deep emotional intimacy with a woman’s is like comparing a thimble with a bucket.

Her Sunglasses are Tinted Pink

As women, we of course, are different. “I love you” is that all-powerful phrase we can’t live without—at least for very long. We find our feminine identities in chatty relationships of cooperation, security, and caring. Sure we’re competitive, smart, and we enjoy a challenge. But the bedrock foundation of love must be firmly in place before we're comfortable enough to venture into the world of risk and achievement. Deep in our heart we ask ouselves, “Am I lovable? Am I lovely? Am I worthy of care?”

Join Us for “The Week in Words”

You may be familiar with the brilliant work of Emerson Eggerichs PhD. I’ve quoted him on this blog quite a few times, because I find his thoughts on gender differences quite profound. Eggerichs teaches Love & Respect conferences, and he has written several best-selling books based on his insights into Eph 5:33.

Barbara H. at Stray Thoughts began a meme, The Week in Words not long ago. Every Monday, she invites bloggers to post their favorite quotes for the week and link up. I’d like to share two quotes I found about deciphering "pink and blue" at Dr. Eggerichs’ weblog, Love & Respect Reflects.

Marriage Counsel from Dr. Eggerichs

1. “One way to picture your marriage is with a line that has the word Involvement at one end and the word Independence at the other, as shown below:

Involvement_______________________________Independence

In the typical marriage relationship, she leans more toward the 'Involvement' side while he leans more toward the 'Independence' side. When you [men] get too independent (especially when you stonewall), she does not feel close to you and begins to feel you don’t love her. When she doesn’t give you the space you need, you begin to feel that she’s trying to get too involved and doesn’t respect you.

The line illustrates the tension that exists between your basic needs for involvement and independence. Tension is not bad; it is simply there. In fact, it is a necessary part of your relationship. A degree of tension in a marriage is actually one of the things that makes the relationship good.”—Love & Respect Reflects

2. “With your man, try spending time just ‘being together’ without an agenda to talk or interact. Yes, I know that appears to be a waste of time. If you can’t talk face to face, sitting shoulder to shoulder watching a football game seems silly. However, that's thinking about your relationship with your pink brain. There's nothing wrong with your pink brain. God made you this way and it is good in his sight. God also made your husband to think about things with his blue brain!

If you want your husband to experience a sense of bonding with you, you have to give him shoulder to shoulder time. For some reason, when you do this authentically, your husband opens up various compartments to you. That does not mean spend 15 minutes with him and then turn to him and say “Talk to me.” This is not some formula to get him to meet your emotional needs. This is a way of respecting who he is as an end in itself, but a byproduct is that when he feels more confident about your friendship—that you like him—he typically shares more of what's going on inside of him.”—Love & Respect Reflects

It's Marriage. It Must be Monday!

• Remember, next week is our monthly meme, "Marriage Monday" right here at Chrysalis. General Group Topic: Romantic Food Favs.


• You also can link your marriage posts in Julie's meme "Marriage Mondays" every week at Come, Have a Peace.


• Visit Jill Savage’s personal blog every week for "Marriage Monday" and her common sense marriage tips. (Author and founder of Hearts at Home.)

Photos: RicardoCarreon & reggaedori (Flickr)

Up Next—Family Life: Bringing Up Girls & Girls Gone Wise.

Can you give me a recent example of how "thinking blue" helped your marriage?

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You're Invited to My Christmas Party...

Yes, It’s Christmas in July!

Are you planning a “staycation” this summer? If so, maybe you would welcome a break from the ordinary. Or, if you’ve already taken a trip—awesome! You’re home just in time.

This week, I’m hosting a Christmas Open House at Chrysalis all week. This entry is a "sticky post" and it will stay at the top of the page until Sunday July 25, 2010. You can join the party now, or you can come back later; your choice. (This post is quite long.)

What’s on the party menu? Plenty.

• A vintage Apron Giveaway,
• 15 "Christmas" Bloggy Awards,
• And the chance to Promote Your Blog.
• You can also donate to the hungry through Angel Food Ministries.
• I’d also like to give you a quick tour of my blog’s new template.
• Finally, how about a quick tutorial on how to create a Favicon?

Let's sing together: “Hark the herald angels sing, glory to the new
born King...”

1. Apron Giveaway

I’m really loving my new three-tiered apron, “Tropical Trio” from Susannah’s {Kitchen}. It’s so much fun for summer! I like to wear it on Sunday nights when I cook a special gourmet meal for our family. It makes me feel so feminine. Honestly, I wear it right to the dinner table, and then into the living room where we have our dessert.

I’ll double your entry if you’re willing to email me a picture of you flipping the apron over your head.

If you would like a chance to win this apron, join me over at my new Facebook Page. (A $45 value! On sale for $26.99) To qualify, I’m asking you to LIKE my Page. (Click the thumbs-up button right at the top by the title.) Then just type “Susannah” in the comments on my FB Giveaway post. Remember to leave your contact info (e.g. your blog’s URL or email address).

Here's how to double your entry in this drawing. Let me know if you’re willing to email me a picture of you flipping the apron over your head like Susannah did. Just add, “Mrs. Wesley had an apron, but not like this!” to your Facebook comment. LOL!

2. 15 "Christmas" Bloggy Awards

My warm thanks go to Gold-in-the-Clouds and Blue Cotton Memory for nominating Chrysalis for The Verstile Blogger Award. I really do appreciate it. Now it’s my turn to pass on the honor. You’ll find 15 names listed on the Award Post at my new Facebook Page. Go see if you won!

(Please visit Blue Cotton Memory for all the official award rules.)

3. Donate to Angel Food Ministries

If you have a heart for the hungry, find out how to donate to this nationwide evangelical Christian outreach. I donate 10% of all apron sales at Susannah's {Kitchen} to this worthy ministry.

4. Take a Tour of
My New Template

NEW URL: http://www.chrysaliscafe.com
NEW Email: chrysaliscafe@comcast.com

If you’re a subscriber and you haven’t clicked through to my Home page lately, you’re invited to do so now. You’ll notice a few changes since you last visited my site, and I’d like to explain how it works. It won't take you too long to get used to the changes.

First, please take note that I now have a custom domain. If you’ve book-marked Chrysalis, please change the old URL to: http://www.chrysaliscafe.com. If you have a Blogger blog, you can get your own domain very easily. It only takes $10 and about five minutes of your time to begin the set-up through Blogger. If you have any questions about this, you can email me at my new address: chrysaliscafe@comcast.com.

I decided on this one because it offers a very cool
3-image slide show. With a few of my own touches, I’ve turned this template into my new home on
the web.

Since I’m still on the Blogger platform (not WordPress or TypePad), I still have all the same publishing options and gadgets. However, I’m really enjoying this free template called "Massive Attack" designed by Insight. Coincidently, just about the same time Blogger was adding a bunch of new templates (did you know?) I went searching online for a new look for Chrysalis. I haven’t had a “wardrobe change” in three years!

I discovered hundreds of really great ones out there, and they’re all available for nothing. I decided on this one because it offers a very cool 3-image slide show. With a few of my own touches, I’ve turned this template into my new home on the web.

What's the Chrysalis Café?

Chrysalis weblog represents two-thirds of this ministry; the weblog itself and the monthly Marriage Monday meme. The other third of this ministry is Susannah’s {Kitchen} my hospitality i-store. Some of you have generously traded your denarii for retro-chic aprons over there. Thank you very much for your support.

All three blog communities are now united under the name “Chrysalis Café.” For a more detailed introduction to the Chrysalis Café communities, click here. The slide show at the top of the Chrysalis Home page is designed to acquaint new visitors to the Café at a glance.

If you would like to receive Chrysalis Café updates in your Facebook News Feed, you can LIKE my new Facebook Page.

If you would like to receive Chrysalis Café updates in your Facebook News Feed, you can LIKE my new Facebook Page here.

You’ll notice that right above the cool slide show on the Home page is a horizontal navigation bar. Below the slide show, you’ll see several magazine-style expandable “Read More” posts. Yes, I know that’s one extra mouse click per post, but I hope you agree that the clean, uncluttered look is worth it. When you expand a post, the slide show disappears and the post fills up the whole page.

I’ve streamlined my sidebar and added four Share buttons, including Facebook, Twitter, StumbleUpon and Delicious. The three square (125 x 125 pixel) images at the very bottom of the page are simply a repeat of the information found inside the Chrysalis Café, but in graphic form.

5. Tutorial: How to Create a Favicon

See that cool little profile pic to the left of my URL at the top of the page? That’s called a Favicon. Generally 15 x 15 pixels, the orange Blogger Favicon is everywhere—and you're free to change that to anything you want without violating Blogger's TOS.

Click here for an easy tool that resizes, reformats, and hosts any image. (See "Free Favicon Hosting" top right.) Once you've done that, follow the directions so you know where to put the code in your template’s HTML. It will only take you five minutes. Try it!

6. Promote Your Blog

What’s a party without the opportunity to meet new people? Leave a link to your blog in the comments, and then go visit the person above you. It would be nice if you put up a Christmas party post at your blog with a link back to Chrysalis, but you’re not required to. Maybe you would prefer to share this post on Facebook or Twitter. I want this to be as easy as possible for everyone. Do something... or nothing at all!

Have fun. And Merry Christmas! “Joy to the World the Lord has come, let earth receive her King…”

Photos: Zellaby, roguedrone, brockvicky & brockvicky (Flickr)

Up Next—Humor: Four Ways to Spend Your Sunday Morning While On Vacation

Don't forget to leave a link to your blog in the comments below!

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Stuff Christians Like by Jonathan Acuff

Reflections on Christian Humor

What makes you laugh? I mean really laugh?

I think the movie, Canadian Bacon is a royal hoot… but that’s because I'm an expat, and I can relate to the way they poke fun at Canadians. All that graffiti scribbled on the side of the van in both French and English… LOL!

Maybe you prefer British humor. I remember one old series, Fawlty Towers, that was pretty slapstick, but lots of fun. Old re-runs of The Lucy Show always make me giggle. Remember when Lucy tried to give Ricky a scalp treatment for baldness?

My favorite movie of all time is My Great Big Fat Greek Wedding. It just struck me as very cute, with a wholesome story and lots of quotable one-liners:

"What do you mean you don't eat no meat?!?!

That’s OK. I’ll cook lamb."

Christian humor can be hilarious to those of us who know the culture well. It’s also harder to get a laugh, because it’s usually squeaky clean. The timing of the punch line has to be just perfect.

Christian Satire vs. Mockery

Christian satire is a lot trickier. Not long ago, I ran across a writer and humorist in the blogosphere who has garnered a major following. His name is Jonathan Acuff, and his blog is called Stuff Christians Like. He's just published his first book by the same name. Heard of it?

Jonathan is a pastor, and he also writes Christian satire “to surprise people.” He says he uses satire to clear away the clutter so we can see the beauty of Christ. But he says it’s hard not to slip into mockery.

Acuff explains what he means in an article at Relevant Magazine:

“Here are the three rules I’ve learned about Christian satire. If you’re a Christian and want to be funny, you have two options. 1) You can be cheesy. 2) You can be hurtful. The first one involves a lot of humor with kittens and rainbows. You have to tell gobs of limericks or send mass forwarded emails that end with a little kid doing something all “rascally.” Your other option is to become cynical and critical of Christianity. You pick on Carman and Facing the Giants and slam everything with a vicious tongue of poison. The problem with this approach is that no one in the history of mankind ever said: “You know, the way you rip into Christianity on your blog really helped me begin a life-changing relationship with Jesus Christ. Thank you for using your cynicism for the Lord.” The third, often unacceptable, option is satire. But how is that different from cynicism? Let’s review the second rule.

Mockery is not the same thing as satire. Mockery always has a victim. Satire doesn’t. Mockery is about wounding someone and leaving a bruise. Satire isn’t that way at all. I define satire as “humor with a purpose.” My purpose is to clear away the clutter of Christianity so we can see the beauty of Christ. I do that with satire, which is a tremendous vehicle for truth. It’s like a big mirror: You take an issue and you blow it up so it’s big enough and obvious enough for everyone to see. Then you stand next to it and ask: “Is that us? Are we OK with that? Is this what it means to be the Church?” You can read the rest of this article here.

Going to Church While on Vacation

Since it’s summer, and goofing off is on our minds, I thought it would be timely to post a link to Acuff's post #611 at Stuff Christians Like, “Going to Church While on Vacation.” In the piece, Acuff suggests several ways Christians can spend Sunday mornings in a strange town. In his signature style, he shares his thoughts on the pros and cons of four options: going to a random church; going to a vacation worship service; doing your own service; and going jogging instead. He'll make you chuckle—and think—all at the same time.

Related: Find more good, clean giggles at Kim's blog Homesteader's Heart. Consider sharing your link in her Friday Funnies meme.

Photos: aliedwards (Flickr)

Coming Soon—Marriage: Solving the Mystery of Pink & Blue

What makes you laugh? I mean really laugh?

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Word-Filled-Wednesday: Isaiah 9:6

We're half way to Christmas! It won't be long (relatively speaking) before that joyous season will be upon us once again. O come, O come, Emmanuel. And ransom captive Israel. That mourns in lonely exile here. Until the Son of God appear... (I have soft spot for Christmas music. Do you?)

For more Scripture quotes and sweet fellowship, join Amydeanne and the others today at The Internet Cafe. WFW is about celebrating the gift of creativity through God’s Word.

Related

It's Christmas in July at Chrysalis! And you're invited to my party. There's an Apron Giveaway, Bloggy Awards, Angel Food Ministries, an easy Favicon Tutorial and more...

Two more Christmas in July events can be found at TidyMom's Holiday Bake, Craft & Sew Along and LifeasMOM's Planning for Christmas series.

Photos: J.Star (Flickr)

I have a soft spot for Christmas music. Do you?

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Spiritual Growth: The H.A.L.T! Principle

Learning to Hit Pause When the Tension is Mounting

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue . . .” (Proverbs 18:21)

It's undeniable. Instinctively, we understand the power of the tongue to build up or tear down. Scripture teaches that words are like seeds. Truth sown in love will produce a harvest of life. Lies sown with hatred produces a harvest of injury—and sometimes even leads to death.

Unfortunately, it’s easy to misuse our speaking ability, the precious faculty that sets us apart from the rest of creation. We’re all guilty of unintentionally crushing a loved one’s spirit.

Have you heard of the “H.A.L.T!” principle? I first read about it in the Big Book published by Alcoholics Anonymous. A friend had just joined, and I wanted to get up to speed on the organization and the disease. Among other things, AA members are taught to reach out to a live human being when they are emotionally spent—instead reaching for the bottle.

An Effective Marriage Technique

I wish I had known about this principle in relation to my tongue as a young wife! I’m sure it would have saved our marriage from countless misunderstandings. Here’s how it works. Restrain your words (i.e. close yo’ mouth) and delay conversations when you are …

H – Hungry
A – Angry
L – Lonely
T – Tired

Listen to Kimberly Wagner’s thoughts about H.A.L.T. at the True Woman blog: “This works for all relationships, but as an example, you may be tempted to unload the frustrations of your day on your husband as soon as he walks in from a long day at work ...

Push pause.

Although you may be bursting at the seams to vent, be sensitive to the fact that your man may be tired. He may have faced many challenges through the course of his day, as well. Grant him time and grace to relax, refuel, and recharge, before entering a conversation which will require much energy.”

Kimberly adds that this principle is not for “sweeping things under the rug” or for avoiding challenging conversations. She uses it as a protective delaying device at those times when a heavy conversation has the potential to lead to conflict or emotional meltdowns.

Jesus is Our Example

When the pressure is mounting and you’re tempted to spew a torrent of words, pray for the power to H.A.L.T! In that split-second gap of time, imagine what it would be like if you were the two listening ears on the other side of your conversation. Let's remember Christ who, “…committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously" (1 Pet 2:22-23).

Related

• "Becoming a Talk Target" by Joyfull at Joyfull Living
  (Tips for making people comfortable in conversation.)


• HOT Communication Tools: Fresh Ideas for Christian Wives
  by e-Mom at Chrysalis

Photos: antiguadailyphoto (Flickr)

Coming Soon—Family Life: "Bringing Up Girls" & "Girls Gone Wise."
Two New Books for Discerning Parents

Do you use this principle in your relationships? Would you share a recent success story?

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